I Don't Know How She Does It

I have a friend that wakes up at 4 am every single morning to write or wok on his freelance projects.

I used to think he was CRAZY! I couldn't ever imagine getting up that early and functioning well enough to brush my teeth - let alone write or work!

And then I had Cooper!

The most beautiful baby.
Yes, I'm biased, but those eyes just melt my heart.

Boy how things change after having kiddos. I love him with all my heart, but let me tell you...4 am feels like sleeping in these days!

Baby Cooper sleeping and holding my hand.
He was only A WEEK old in this picture.
Slow down, time.
Slow.
Down.

I've actually been up since 3 am today. Cooper woke up and needed feed and changed. He quickly fell back asleep, but the distraction of Justin and Cooper snoring kept me awake. Fine, I won't let them take ALL the blame. I was also making the list.

I first learned about the concept of "making the list" when I watched a movie with Sarah Jessica Parker called, "I Don't Know How She Does It." Sarah played an incredibly busy working mother, who loved her kids dearly, but also loved her career!

Coop watching me get ready for work this morning.

Even before I had Cooper, I imagined my life would be very similar to Sarah's in the movie. When she should be sleeping at night, she found herself making a mental list and check-list of "to-do" items.

And that's exactly what I did from 3:30 am to 4:30 am today.

• You need to pack diapers. Lora said you're almost out. Don't forget extra clothes, teething supplies, formula, and wipes too!
• The new dishwasher is getting installed this morning! You'll need to unload it before you go to work - Justin might forget or not wake up in time!
• Did you submit your blog post ideas for the upcoming Jada Beauty blogging schedule? Don't forget to do that by Tuesday!
• Remember to take out the mini wieners from the freezer and put them in the fridge. And remember to tell Justin that he's responsible for little pigs in a blanket for the New Year's Eve party tomorrow.
• Do you have your dress for the New Year's Eve party yet? It's a Mad Men Theme...what do Mad Men even wear? I need to look this show up on Netflix.
• Don't forget to grab the clothes that you need to take back to Old Navy on your lunch break.
• Speaking of lunch, don't forget to grab your lunch in the morning and pack the grapes and banana. 
• No waiting until the New Year to start eating healthy. You destroyed all healthy eating over the holiday when you ate a pound of bacon for Christmas brunch the other day. Try not to eat a pound of mini wieners tomorrow.
• DANG IT - I don't have any clean leggings. 
• Looks like I'll be wearing jeans today. Let's hope I have a clean vest so I can cover up my muffin top.
• I need to get back to the gym. Put that on your list of things to do tonight.
• I wonder what Cooper is dreaming about...Oh, I just love him so much. 
• You should probably just get up and shower. There is no way you're getting back to sleep.

And that's my life these days.

Being a working mom is a lot harder than I ever anticipated. 

The first challenge is simply missing Cooper and fighting off the mom guilt that's associated with working. I know I'm doing what's best for our family right now, but there are just some days when I would love nothing more than to be at home with Coop.

The best part of my day.

The second challenge is battling the physical and mental exhaustion. By the time I get home from work, I'm ready to go to bed. I am NOT complaining. I realize all new moms feel this way. But I somehow need to find time to:

• Eat dinner
• Walk Bandit 
• Feed Cooper
• Change Cooper
• Give Cooper a bath
• Read to Cooper
• Go to the gym
• Write (personal or freelance via Jada Beauty)
• Do dishes
• Do laundry
• Do more dishes
• Feed Cooper
• Change Cooper
• Pack my lunch
• Shower 
• Sleep??
• Feed Cooper
• Change Cooper
• HAVE I FED BANDIT YET!?!
• .......

And more often than not, I don't end up doing all of those things because I'd rather snuggle with Cooper than put him in the YMCA daycare so I can workout. I've been trying to workout on my lunch break to help with my evening time management though!

Some days, I don't know how I get through the day. 

Literally, I have no mental recollection of the day.

But I do.

I make it.

I might not have make-up on. I'm probably wearing leggings. There is a STRONG chance I left something at home. And my hair is probably a mess (if I had time to shower). But I get through the day...

Just don't be upset if I don't respond to your text messages right away.

Don't be mad when I don't answer my phone - I only have two hands and I can't talk on the phone when I'm talking to Coop. I promise I'll call you back when I have a free second!

And please do send me a reminder email if I've forgotten to reply to your first email or simply forgot something you asked me to do in person.

And while my life is crazy and hectic at times, there isn't much I would (or could) change. I'm so incredibly happy to have Cooper. He lights up my world. He gives me meaning and purpose.

Love captured in a single moment of time.

I love Cooper more than anything in this world- he's inspired new goals and reminds me to be the happiest mom possible.

He's the happiest babes in the world.

He keeps me balanced and reminds me to focus on what TRULY matters...not trivial, silly issues or drama. And I know that working helps us save for the future and afford nice things for our family.

So, dear blog reader, I am SORRY that I've been MIA.

I did miss you. 

And I certainly missed my therapy (writing). I was shocked to look at my blog and see only a few blog posts for the month. I knew that writing had taken a spot on the back burner, but I didn't realize it was that far back....

Trust me, I have plenty of blog posts brewing in my mind! And I have inspiration saved in my inbox from the Think Kit 31 Days of Blogging Challenge that I royally failed at this month.

Every morning, I'd see the topic and get excited about what I could write about...then before you know it, the next day had arrived. And then I was a day behind, two days behind, and then days turned into weeks.

Adjusting to my new work schedule and surviving all of the holiday madness simply got the best of me!

Sweet little Coop was sick on Christmas too.

But I'm ready to focus on my new goals for 2014.

And I'm doing my best to embrace healthy habits (both physically and mentally) for the coming year.

My word of 2014 is CLEAN! 

I'll share more about what that word means to me in my next blog post and review how I did with my word for 2013: NEW.

Much love,
Ashley

PS I think stay at home moms work just as hard and are equally exhausted! This blog post is just based on my personal situation. And in an attempt to not sugar coat everything, I am simply sharing that life (while more fulfilled and beautiful than ever before) is simply busier as I try to adjust to new schedule. Thanks to all of you for supporting me and encouraging me during this new adventure! 

A Word To The Wise

Today's topic!

Time.

It's the best gift you can ever receive or give. 

My grandma taught me this life lesson very early on. She would always thank me for my phone calls, visits, and laughs. 

"Honey girl- thank you for your time," she always tells me. "You always give your time and I'm so thankful...."

If you know my grandma Kaye - then you'll understand that spending time with her is not a chore or hassle. She is the funniest and kindest woman I know. 

Cheers to this fabulous lady!

As I lay on the couch with a sleepy baby on my chest, I am reminded that the wisest decision I made this year had to do with time. 

The time I took off from work to be with my son. 

Holding hands and watching The Price is Right.
Coop wants to be the next contestant!

Early in my pregnancy and even before I had a kid, I always thought I would be eager to return to work after having my babes. 

Speaking at a marketing conference in Chicago while 6.5 months pregnant!

"I would go crazy being a stay at home mom," I would say. 

"I'll really miss adult interaction and having time for myself," I would add. 

But now that I have my sweet baby here with me...I am reminded that I was way wrong. 

I go crazy at the thought of leaving him. 

I would stay home in a heartbeat. But my gut tells me that I need to try working. I have an ideal situation with a 4 day work week (every Thursday is Coop day) and a home daycare that adores Cooper! Best of all, the daycare is literally right down the road from our house! 

As for adult interaction and me time, I get plenty of that! Whether it's a trip to the gym or a hot bath- I always find a way to get some time for myself (and Bandit)!

A relaxing walk on a beautiful December day.

I know that new moms get a ton of advice, so I won't lecture or preach on this topic! 

I certainly won't judge!!! 

Every mother must do what is best for their family. 

If you can afford to take the extra time off with your kiddo, I encourage you to take it!

 I've literally enjoyed every single minute with Cooper.

Baby laughs  = music to your ears.

BUSTED: Coop caught me snapping his picture again.

Sure - I didn't get paid the full 12 weeks off from work, but I wouldn't trade these days for any amount of money. I've learned to make scarifies and I think harder about making any purchases.

I eat a ton of leftovers.

I barely visit Starbucks (unless I have a gift card). Home-brewed coffee isn't so bad!

I only bought ONE pair of boots for the season (unlike last year when I stocked up on 4 pair!!).

I'm perfectly fine having dinner dates with my husband at home.

I'll be OK wearing "last season's" sweaters and dresses.

I don't attend happy hours (and to be honest - the thought of a hangover while caring for a baby sounds awful!).

But as I read through the list of  "sacrifices" - I am reminded most of these are material items or experiences. And at the end of the day - that's all they are...materials. I have a quote in our bedroom that says:

"The best things in life aren't things."

I am reminded of that quote daily.

  

It's truly crazy how children change you. 

But a good kind of crazy! 

My kind of crazy.

Silly face selfies.

My final word to the wise - give the gift of time whenever possible. 

Whether it's a visit with your grandma, an email to an old friend, a phone call with someone you miss, a lunch date with someone special, or even a 12 week maternity leave with your babes- you'll never regret spending time with the people you love the most. 

ALSO: To all the moms who can't take a full 12 weeks off (either due to a work schedule or other financial / personal reasons) - YOU ARE STILL AMAZING MOMS! You're doing great. This is just my take on the subject based on my personal situation. Don't let anyone ever make you feel bad for doing what's best for you and your family.

Much love, 

Ashley 

How Children Change Us

There is no denying that children change us. Many parenting blogs and baby books will talk about the changes new parents should expect when their little one arrives.

New habits.

New worries.

New pains.

New concerns.

New plans.

New priorities.

A new, deeper love.

But sometimes it's hard to explain these changes to someone who hasn't had a child yet. Everyone just always told, "You'll know what I mean when you have your child."

And they were right. I do know what they mean...but still have a hard time finding the right words to explain this change. It's amazing that literally the moment a child arrives into this world, parents experience a new love that quickly changes us.

Welcome, Cooper.

Some people ask me, "How is parenthood? Is it everything you imagined?"

Dinner time snuggles.

Honestly, parenthood is better than I could ever imagine. 

Most of the time I know EXACTLY why Cooper is crying. I can solve the problem and we can both move on. Other times, it takes longer and I find myself getting frustrated. We both get frustrated.

What is it? What do you need? What am I doing wrong?

But that's just part of parenthood. You'll always wonder, second guess, and take chances to solve problems and help your child. You'll make mistakes, but you'll have many, many victories and inspiring moments too.

Yes, parenthood is hard. I've had many sleepless nights and I've shed many tears. But being a mom is the best gift and my best job in this world.

Cooper is my everything. 

I loved you before I knew you.

But saying that Cooper is "my everything" can mean so many things. And that doesn't sum up exactly how Cooper change me. Before I had Cooper, I was very career-driven. My career was my baby. But having Cooper gave me a new purpose in life.

A new job that I never want to retire from. 

Cooper's laugh = the most magical sound in the world.

Don't me wrong- I still feel excitement about working again (some days). I just wish I could take him with me OR work from home! Maybe I'll feel better once we get into our new routine....returning to work is an entirely different blog post. One that I'll likely write soon as my maternity leave is slowly coming to an end...

Anyway, Cooper giving me a new meaning and passion for life is just one of the amazing ways he has changed me.There are countless of other ways he has changed me too.

Sure, I don't sleep as much (but it's truly amazing how well I function when I only have a few hours of sleep).

I'd rather go shopping for Cooper than myself (HUGE for a shopaholic like me to admit).

I don't get grossed out by baby puke or poop anymore (I used to gag just thinking about a poopy diaper).

I've fallen more in love with Justin, who continues to amaze me as both a husband and a father.

Sometimes your baby will kick you in your face.

I workout so that I can chase him around and remain healthy - the healthier I am, the more years I have with him!

Workout inspiration.

I don't care so much about being on a strict timeline or schedule (this one is HUGE!!!!).

I used to OBSESS over plans and details. But guess what? When you have a kid, especially a newborn, your plans get thrown out the window.

And I don't mean that in a negative way. I simply mean -if your baby needs to eat, you stop what you're doing and feed them. If your baby is crying because his diaper needs changed, you find a clean place to change him. Even if that means pulling over on the side of the road or hitting up the nearest parking lot to turn your backseat into an instant porter potty and feeding room.

Also,  Cooper has taught me to TRULY put his needs, wishes, feelings, and emotions over mine. It's true that children teach you how to care for someone else's health and well-being over your own. But don't just take my word for it, here is a story that has greatly touched my heart.

This story helps me explain to you how children change us.
 
I was doing my nightly Facebook stalking when I came across a post from my dear friend Ashley. Both her sister AND brother-in-law are battling cancer. They have two young sons. And as a parent, my mind instantly wonders to the children.

What would their lives be like without both of their parents around?

How would they deal with the loss of both their mom and father around the same time? 

Cancer sucks.

I've been following their story and praying for miracles and healthy recoveries...And that evening, Ashley's sister (Holly) shared that she was in remission. Holly does a few tumors on her liver - but due to the stage and size of the cancer - they haven't yet grown in size.

She said, "Jack and Brody (their sons) are doing well. Along with my Faith, they are my two biggest reasons for living and keeping a positive outlook on life."

Children give us a new purpose and reason.

That was the first life lesson from her post.

As I continued to read the blog post, the bad news came when Holly shared that her husband isn't doing well. The prostate cancer metastasis to his bones. He's so ill that he lost 20 lbs in 10 days and can barely pull himself from bed. He's had surgeries (one of which put a pain pump in his spinal cord to help with the tremendous amount of pain that he's experiencing).

But he's not giving up.

He's holding on and fighting hard.

Despite his unimaginable pain, he wants to see his son turn 2 this Sunday.

He wants to fight to see his two year anniversary of his intial diagnosis of Stage 4 prostate cancer. One last attempt to kick Cancer in the face!

He wants to see his family for Thanksgiving and watch his children open presents on Christmas.

Can you imagine only having one more Christmas with your child? One more birthday? One more day....

It's absolutely heartbreaking and his battle with cancer inspires me (even more) to cherish every little second I get with Cooper. Who knows how many birthdays, holidays, and extraordinary days I'll get with him. 

Children help us fight our battles.

That was the second life lesson I gathered about how children change us. Children make us fight because we want to experience all of their smiles, moments, and milestones.We don't want to miss a single moment of their life.

When I look at Cooper, I am reminded that everything I do...I am doing for him.

To make his life better.

To care for him.

To love him.

To make sure he is the happiest and healthiest baby (as much as I can influence).

And whatever challenge or battle I face, I am encouraged to fight even stronger and harder knowing I have Cooper in my life.

Children give us light.

As I was texting Ashley about these updates I read online, she told me, "God brings light into the world through innocence like Cooper."

Innocence.

I cried.

Oh, how I cried...

Maybe it's selfish of me to listen to that story and think of myself and my own family. But I confess I did..

I thought about Cooper.

I thought about Justin.

I thought about Justin having cancer and Cooper only getting one more birthday with him. One more holiday. One more day with us.

Tears instantly fell from my eyes and my heart just ached for the family.

Ashley continued, "It's true. Brody and Jack are my sister's light. Without them, I don't know how she'd be reacting to everything she's going through. Children give people purpose for surviving and providing."

Her words were beautiful. Cooper is my light. He lights up even the darkest day with his smile, laugh, and personality. He lights up my entire world simply by being close and near me.

I'm not saying your career or spouse or pet or anything else doesn't give YOU purpose or reason... I TRULY believe people can have purpose, meaning, light, and the urge to fight through battles without having children. I have a few friends who never want children - and I believe that they will absolutely live a happy life.

But there is no denying that children inspire us to live a healthier, happier life.

They need us to.

And as it turns out, we need them just as much.

That smile just gets better and bigger each passing day.

P.S. If you pray, please keep Holly and her family in your prayers. If you send positive vibes, we'll take those too. xoxo!

Much love,
Ashley

Never Trust a Girl If Her Thighs Don't Touch: Part 2

If you're a frequent blog reader, you might recall reading about my drip to Washington, DC to visit one of my good friends and her husband.

While we had a blast catching up with Britt and Jimmy + eating delicious food, there is no doubt that all the walking took a tole on my pregnant body. We literally walked 7 miles one day.

Now obviously all that walking (especially when you're five months pregnant) can result in some serious chaffing. I've been a chaffer for as long as I can remember. I think I was born with my thighs stuck together (kidding). But pregnancy just fueled the chaffing fire.

Skin-to-skin chaffing can result in a serious rash (as some of you probably know from experience). But you can also experience chaffing when you're wearing leggings or jeans - if your thighs tough when you walk- then will chaff one way or another. As a result, many of may pants thin out in the inner thigh area.

Now yesterday, I tried on a pair of my pre-baby jeans! I have been SO nervous to dust off my "skinny" jeans and try them on...I was worried they wouldn't even go up my bigger thighs and wider hips. And I didn't want to get discouraged. I've been doing SO good on my Advocare 24-Day Challenge...I'm down 6 lbs (almost 7), my energy levels are incredbile, my wedding ring fit again, and I just feel healthier overall.

But because all of my leggings, jeggings, and yoga pants seemed to be in the washer at the same exact time (bad laundry day planning on my part), I had no other choice...

And- to my surprise - THE JEANS FIT!!!!

Kim Kardashian, this is a REAL new mom / back side selfie.

I was BEYOND excited. Sure, I had a LITTLE bit of a muffin top- but wearing the right top can cover that bad boy up while maintaining my new confience!

But my excitement was short lived...

Cooper started to wake up so I bent down to pick him up from his bouncy chair and that's when it happened.

(Insert crotch / inner thigh ripping sound).

YOU HAVE GOT TO ME KIDDING ME!!!

The infamous rip.

So I tried on another pair of jeans, but they were tigther.

Now I could button them. And they would stay buttoned if I didn't breathe or move. Considering how that's not a viable option, I busted out my bella band and decided to rock the jeans anyway - reminding me of my early pregnancy days.

"Mom, it's OK! I still love you even if you rip your pants while picking up the baby." - Bandit

And this experience further supports why I STILL don't trust a woman if her thighs don't touch.

Final side note (which also appeared in my first post): If your thighs do touch, I am only kidding. Good for you - now go eat a burger and fries (with ranch dressing ) for me!!

Much love,
Ashley

A Letter to My Son: Month 2

Dear Cooper, 

One year ago, I blew out birthday candles and made a wish for you.

You were the only gift I wanted. 

I remember feeling the heartbreak of a negative pregnancy test month after month. But looking back - I am reminded that everything happens for a reason.

Those negative tests.

Those tears.

Those heartaches - all brought me to you. 

And now that I have you, the only birthday wish I'll ever have is for your continued health and happiness.

Which, by the way, you're the happiest baby in the ENTIRE universe.

Big smiles.

On Thursday, you turned 8 weeks old! Below you'll find a few of the 20 pictures I took of you that day:

You make my heart melt.

I think you're farting in this picture.
You get it honest.

Puppy brother loves you VERY much.
He never leaves your side.

I am in complete shock (and denial) that you're already 8 weeks old. I cherish our days together so much. And the thought of returning to work completely breaks my heart. I know we still have another four weeks together, but I just can't bare the thought of leaving you with a woman I barely know.
 
You won't hear my voice when you're scared or upset.

You won't hold my hand when you're eating.

You won't feel my beating heart when you lay down for a nap.

And you won't see my face when you wake up from each nap.

My eyes are burning as they fill up with tears...thinking about the moments I'll miss and minutes - no seconds- we will spend apart from each other every single day. 

I hate to think of the morning that I must drop you off and don't return for 8 hours. I hope your babysitter is prepared to send me hourly updates and pictures.  Seriously- at minimum.

But I am so happy that I'll be working part time - I will be taking one day off each week so I can spend it with you. We can do WHATEVER you want! For now, I'm sure our days will include jamming on your kicking piano.

And of course, we will spend time snuggling together and catching up on everything I missed earlier in the week while you were at daycare.

But eventually we can take trip to the zoo to see the fun animals. Maybe one day I'll even let you pet a shark!

We can visit the Children's Museum to dig up fossils, learn about history and animals, and play with new friends!

We can go play at the park - I'll swing you until my arms hurt and go down all of the slides with you.

We will go runs and walks with Bandit, run errands together, and simply enjoy our day- mom and Coop day.

Oh the memories we will make...I can't wait!

Speaking of memories, here is a snapshot of some of my favorite moments from weeks 4-8:

You and your daddy started reading together.

Insert my heart melting.

We drove around together to watch the changing of the leaves. Fall is my favorite time of year.

"MOM! I love Fall too!"

 You went to your very first football game to watch your Uncle Loshe walk during senior night!

We're so proud of you Uncle Loshe!

All bundled up and watching the football game.

You are getting stronger and stronger each day, but sometimes tummy time just isn't your thing.

I'm bored. Where is my piano?

My heart skips a beat when I hear you laugh and see you smile - which is always.

Yes, you're already wearing Christmas jammies.
Tis' the season!

You continue to make hilarious facial expressions and noises during bath time.

And apparently I have a bald spot in the back of my head?
Cool.

We went to your cousin Braxen's birthday party - it had a camo theme. You loved it so much that you slept the entire time.

Sleeping with Nana.

You had the biggest blow out ever and made the most awkward, hilarious face for about 15 minutes until I noticed that spot of poo on your belly.

"Hey mom. I've got a surprise for you."

I continue to constantly watch you while you sleep. You look so happy and peaceful - and my favorite is when I catch you smiling or laughing in your sleep.

Sweet baby dreams.

I also continue to take a million pictures of you each day. I never want to miss a moment.

This might be my favorite collection of your facial expressions.

 And now you're starting to notice that I am always creeping on you and taking pictures.

Busted! You caught me snapping your pic.

My chest remains your favorite place to sleep.

And I must admit,  having you sleep on my chest is my favorite too.

Dad continues to be the BEST ever - helping us by cooking dinner each night, feeding you, and wrapping you up in your Nemo robe after bath time. Watching you and your father together is the best feeling...

I fall more in love with you both each and every single day.

We're so happy we found you, little Nemo.

Your grandparents own a shoe store in Richmond - the store has been in the family for YEARS! And each year, mommy and daddy go back to help at the annual shoe sale. This year, you came to help us too!

Taking names and descriptions of people as they walk into the store!

We matched! Twinsies!

Daddy would come snuggle with you when he had a "free" minute.

And Grandma Sieb loved snuggling with you each night.
We were ALL exhausted after the long day.

People kept asking if they could buy YOU!
So we put this sign up!

You got changed on the famous bath tub couch!
Your daddy got changed on this when he was your age and went to the shoe store!

 We celebrated your first Halloween!

I love that you're smiling in this picture.

You dressed up as a fox while we passed out Halloween candy.
And you were passed out / sleeping the entire time.

We were The Hangover crew for Halloween.
It was amazing.
One day you'll watch this movie. It'll be a classic.

 Mommy's little pumpkin butt.

What did the fox say!?

Mommy's friend Sarah from On a Good Note made you personalized thank you cards!

How amazing and talented is Sarah!?

 You are slowly starting to grow more hair, but for now - you still have a mullet going on. Don't worry, your father and I BOTH had mullets. We're awesome.

Team mullet.

Your puppy brother never leaves your side. Nap time or feeding time or bath time- you can count on him to be right next to us!

My boys.

Mommy and daddy went on their first date night without you. We missed you 2 seconds after we pulled out of the drive way.

Um hi, can our baby come? We miss him.
Why are we so awkward?

 And I was SO happy to get home with you and do what we do best- SNUGGLE!

You're my whole world.

OH and how could I forget!! You finally got to meet Sarah and Dusty, your long-distance friends from San Francisco!

I think you have a crush on Sarah.

And today, we went shopping together. You must love shopping as much as your father because you slept the entire time!

I was happy to find this shirt for $11 at Banana Republic!
AND I fit into a size large again. Whoop whoop!

As you can tell, we've had an amazing four weeks together. On Wednesday, we have your 2 month doctor's appointment. I'm making your daddy come along because you are getting your shots. And I'm sure that will make both of us (you and me) tear up! Daddy better be strong or they better have shot of vodka there for me. Either way, I'm excited to see how much you've grown. And our hope is to hear that you're still a very healthy, happy, and perfect baby boy.

Thank you for being an incredible baby.

You've given me a new purpose in life.

You've taught me patience.

You've inspired me to love harder and cherish each and every second we spend together. 

And you've stretched my heart and the ability to love to unimaginable depths. 

Being your mother is the most amazing and joyful gift in this entire world. This birthday and all my birthdays to come will be complete with you in my life.

Much love,
Mom