I Shouldn't Have Looked

I shouldn't have looked.

But I did.

I guess it wouldn't matter though...because my doctor brought it to my attention anyway.

My weight.

The number on the scale.

I was doing SO good for the first five months.

Then, I started to let myself go.

Cupcakes? No problem.

Bacon? Absolutely.

Cheese? On everything please.

Mountain Dew? Yes, let's do the dew.

Working out? Pshhh I'll do that tomorrow.

Then you add in the past two weeks.

First, there was Chicago, which meant I was eating out and snacking on Garrett's popcorn.

Then, there was the week of ALL day meetings and evening events (reading between the lines - I had pizza, Qdoba, and Yats for lunches followed by dinners out with my team).

I knew what was coming.

I knew the number would be high.

But not that high. I simply wasn't ready for it.

If you've followed my blog, you know weight loss has ALWAYS been a popular topic. And I've had my ups and downs....and I've picked myself up countless times.

But this time -I'm growing a baby. A little tiny human. Someone who needs me to be healthy and active. Not just during pregnancy, but as a mother as well.

You want to know the number, don't you?

I thought about not telling you, honestly I did. I thought about hiding this secret all together. And maybe not even telling Justin...But writing about my feelings. Being open. Being honest. That's how I heal. That's how I deal.

First, I'll tell you that I gained 11 lbs in ONE MONTH!!! That's an average of 2.5 lbs a week. 

Barf.

Second, I'll...tell...you....the number on the scale.

267.

YIKES!

That puts me at 29 lbs gained for this pregnancy. And remember how my goal for the ENTIRE pregnancy was to gain between 25 and 30 lbs?

Oops. 

The doctor measured my belly and asked how I was feeling.

She found little Cooper's heartbeat, which makes my heart so happy every time, and said, "You've got a happy baby in there!"

I was so happy to hear that his heartbeat is great + he is moving around + loving life.

My placenta is in the front, which makes it really hard for Justin (and sometimes me) to feel him moving around. Sometimes I get worried, but then he will kick me ...that's his way of telling me to calm down. Everything is fine.

"Well, my darling, your blood pressure is great, but.."

I could have finished the sentence for her. I had be sitting in the exam room the whole time. Starring straight at the ceiling. Fidgeting all over the place. Analyzing everything I'd eaten over the last month.

"It looks like you have a spike in your weight," she said.

I came clean about everything.

Admitted to my poor diet and exercise habits.

She was pleased that I was honest. She said some woman just act like they're in denial and say, "I have no clue how that happened!"

"Well the good news is you know what happened," she said. "And you have the tools and resources to bring things back on track. I don't want you to lose weight at all. But just try to exercise again and have a healthier diet. Let's try to see you gain under one pound each week."

So instead of feeling sorry for myself and stopping by Flying Cupcake, I drove my happy butt to Whole Foods. I was supposed to get free lunch at work (Fazoli's aka carbs, carbs, and MORE carbs) - but I turned it down. Yes, that's right. I turned it down.

IF I TURN DOWN FREE FOOD THAT IS A BIG DEAL!

I went to the salad bar and created the most amazing salad I've had in months. I stayed away from the bacon, eggs, cheese, and ranch dressing - which are my usual salad toppings of choice. Instead, I loaded up on mixed greens, quinoa, wild rice (don't ask - it sounded good and WAS good), pumpkin seeds, yellow squash, grilled chicken, and just a few croutons. For my dressing, I sprinkled on some olive oil then purchased some pesto, which I added later!

Bam. Nailed it.

It was AMAZING!

I also picked up some fresh green beans (my current favorite veggie) and just a little bit of the organic mac and cheese (just a little bit though...and the fact it was organic + not very cheesy made me feel better about life).

Perfect combination if you ask me.

I even had some leftovers.

See Ashley, eating healthy CAN be satisfying and fill you up.

I'm not being hard on myself. Some people might comment that I'm pregnant and shouldn't worry about this...but the reality is, when the doctor tells you (in polite terms) to get your shit together and eat better and exercise more, you need to do it.
 
So, here goes nothing. We've got about 11 weeks left (ummm that seems so short). I've got this...I know exactly what I need to do to maintain my weight better and stay active.

Much love,
Ashley

(Early) Third Trimester Revelations

Cankles really do exist. I have them. And I imagine they will be way worse when walking around in Vegas  in 100+ degree weather. Hilarious t-shirt pics coming soon.

The Victoria Secret’s semi-annual sale is taking place right now. I’m about to stock up on classy granny panties.

Belly shirts are coming back. And I am participating in this trend if I don’t wear proper maternity clothes that are bump friendly.

Heartburn is now expected on a daily basis.

Sometimes I get stains on my shirt and I have no clue because I can’t see it.

Not everyone experiences the same pregnancy journey. By now, some people say that people can see their belly move + their significant other can feel the baby externally. We haven’t had that much luck, but I can feel Cooper moving around in there. In our company meeting last week, he punched me so hard I almost yelled out something like Steve Carell on 40 Year Old Virgin.

Back pain will disrupt your sleep schedule. And you can throw your back out simply by going to the bathroom on a non-supportive toilet. Trust me, it happened two weeks ago.

You will constantly feel like you have to pee. And often, you don’t end up peeing more than a few drops.  I miss being able to pee fiercely and loudly. So. Much. Pressure.

I also always grab my belly + cross my legs when I laugh.
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Shaving my legs is becoming a chore. And my leg probably looks like an alien crop circle (aka I miss hair in some areas only). On that note, hair is growing in unimaginable (unseen to me) places and my husband politely called me out / offered to help out during these next few weeks. God love him.

I'm DYING to see how many epic photobombs Bandit will do to Cooper. He's already a master with me:

I couldn't love him more.

Our nursery isn’t complete yet, but as long as we have a healthy baby and a crib – everything will be fine (or so that’s what I remind myself when I walk by the empty room with blank walls and closet full of random clothes).

I bought Cooper THREE OUTFITS for $11 bucks at Once Upon A Child. Seriously. He will be the cutest little guy. Justin, obviously, thinks I am dressing him “too hipster” or “preppy” but personally, I think he will be adorbs!

I eat whatever I want. I’m not going to pretend that I’m being healthy 100% of the time.

I do try to get my fruits and veggies in, but sometimes the cravings win. I honestly considered punching Justin, knocking him out, and putting him in the back seat with Bandit if he didn’t stop to eat me ice cream yesterday. But tonight, tonight  - I am eating healthy!!! Salmon, veggies, and fruit salad.Let’s just hope I don’t waddle down the frozen pizza isle or I am in deep trouble.

My sister told me that I am officially waddling now.

I can only hope I look as CUTE as these penguins when I waddle.

I literally want to squeeze people and kiss them on the forehead every single time they tell me I look beautiful + I’m glowing + I look like I’ve hardly gained any weight / I’m all belly. You could be lying. You are probably lying. But thank you.

The bump does, however, look pretty stellar in this new dress.
Let's just hope it fits in a few weeks for my first shower!!

You should, however, tell me the truth about certain things including food stuck in my teeth, pit stains, back sweat stains, and butt sweat stains. It might be uncomfortable for you to expose these mishaps, but I will still love you.


Much love,
Ashley

Bacon Problems

Told the husband I wanted BLTs for dinner.

This was his response:

"I hate your obsession with bacon.  I hate cooking bacon and how it makes the entire first floor smell like bacon for days."  

Sorry I'm not sorry.

Oh, and this:

Bacon Baby for Halloween.
Cooper will love me for this, right?

Much love,

Ashley 

Afternoon Delight

I am in heaven right now...

 

Eating this amazing Greek yogurt + closing my eyes and pretending I am eating real Key Lime Pie on the beach.

Much love,
Ashley

A Lesson in Food Cravings

Maybe it was the rain.

Or perhaps the long week at work.

But I got home and crawled straight into bed.

I haven't gone to the gym all week. Although, we did walk / run with Bandit most every night because the weather has been wonderful.

But deep down, I knew I needed the exercise.

I've never regretted a workout.

And the first steps out the door are always the hardest.

So I pulled the covers off my lazy body, and climbed into my workout clothes.

While on the elliptical, I was watching The Food Network (always a bad idea).

Then a commercial for Popeye's chicken came on...

Here is how the rest of my workout went:

I need some mashed potatoes. 

With gravy.

Oh no!

Wait, I want chicken strips.

From Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Do they have good ranch dressing?!

I think so.

What if I got popcorn chicken instead?

Oh my gosh. 

Pop-corn chicken is the best invention ever.

And I think KFC has good ranch dressing.

If not, it's fried chicken - it's good plain!

(Look at the timer)

12 minutes 25 seconds left.

You can make it to 15 minutes.

That's good enough.

Then you'll leave the gym and KFC is right by your house!

Well, close enough.

I guess I could get green beans.

That's healthy, right?

I hope they have bacon in them.

No, I just want popcorn chicken.

FINALLY - 15 minutes!

I jumped off the elliptical- cleaned it off- and walked out the door to my next destination.

But instead of pulling in the drive thru and wasting 500+ calories (410 calories on the chicken and 140 on ranch), I went home.

And enjoyed some fresh fruit.

Take that fried chicken balls of heaven!!!

You see, the thing about food cravings is they pass.

They don't last forever.

And often, you don't even feel satisfied once you've gorged yourself.

You feel guilty.

And gross.

And mad.

So, I saved 500 calories AND enjoyed a delicious snack.

And I feel FINE!

Happy, even.

Stay strong.

And stay on track.

IF I CAN DO THIS - ANYONE CAN!!!

And most importantly, I will appreciate my dedication to eating healthy and working out once the baby is born!

Much love,
Ashley