A Positive Self Perception

I'm trying to play catch up on my Think Kit blog posts... Who knew blogging once a day would be so hard!? 

Anyway, here is the topic from yesterday: 

At first, I thought of my body. 

What do I want my body to look like in 2014? 

Last night, I tried on a dress that I wore one year ago. 

I looked in the mirror and noticed all the ways that my body has changed since pregnancy. 

My hips. 

My curves. 

My thighs. 

And because I am a selfie-aholic, I remembered taking a picture when I first found this dress! Just for curiosity to see how my body had changed over the year, I did a side-by-side comparison. 

The changes to my body were immediately obvious. Sure, I have about 15 lbs to hit before I'll weigh the same as I did in the picture on the left...

But after studying the picture, I realized that I am proud of these child bearing hips. And I love my curves! 

So instead of focusing on my body - I've decided to focus on my self-perception! As women we can be extremely hard on ourselves about our body. We seem to notice every flaw - every stretch mark - every glimpse of cellulite. And new moms can be even harder on themselves because they have unrelatiatic expectations or hopes to quickly return to their pre-baby body! It took 9 months to gain that weight and grow your baby - so it will take a good amount of time to "return" to your old size again. 

So instead of saying I want my body to look a certain way or I want to be in a certain pant size...I am taking a different approach! 

I want to have a healthy mind as I continue to tone and strengthen my new body! With a positive outlook, confidence, and a belief in myself - I am certain I can achieve my health and fitness goals - one of them being to complete a sprint triathlon in the summer!! 

You often hear stories of amazing and inspiring people - people who do something against all odds. 

And what do they all have in common?!? 

They don't let anyone hold them back. 

They believe in themselves. 

They push themselves. 

They fight with everything they have! 

So in 2014- I plan to keep my head high, believe in myself, and push myself to new limits! 

As a result, I should lose that 15 lbs and then some. 

I should have a toned body. 

I should have a medal for another half marathon. 

I should have an amazing finisher picture for my first sprint triathlon. 

I should have a positive self perception that keeps me fighting on and believing in myself (and anything that I set my mind and heart to accomplishing). 

And it's going to be a fun and exciting journey...I have Cooper to help keep me inspired and on track with all my health goals! I get tears in my eyes just imagining what it will be like to see, hug, and kiss Cooper on the finish line of my next half marathon. 

Much love, 

Ashley 

How Often Do You Weigh Yourself!?

My little man wasn't feeling too great yesterday, so I didn't have time to post yesterday's Think Kit post.

So today is a double whammy - two blog posts!

Yesterday I asked my FB friends this question:

Today's blog post requires me to take a poll! With my recent weight loss top of mind, I am curious - do you weigh yourself daily, weekly, monthly, or never (measure success in other ways)?! Don't forget to share why!

I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. And seeing that number on the scale is usually more discouraging than encouraging. So I wanted to see what other people had to say!

The majority of people who responded said that they weigh themselves daily! The people who weigh daily seem to be a weight maintenance phase - not a weight loss phase. The daily check in helps ensure they are on the right path! But a few notes they see their weight shift within a 5 lb window - so I was glad to hear I am not the only one who sees a slightly big fluctuation day by day.  

Sarah said, "When I was ' losing' weight I weighed myself once a week. I loved ( sometimes not) looking at the scale once a week to know what I had accomplished!! It really helped me not get discouraged if i had a bad day/night and i was able to jump right back on my weight loss journey! Now that I am maintaining... I step on it every single day to know and keep myself mindful of what goes into my mouth daily ( I want the scale to read in a range of two lbs:) so if it goes even a couple of oz above I know to watch those portions! Xoxo"

My friend Brittany said, "Daily. Partially for curiosity/fascination because my weight swings 5 pounds on a day to day basis. But also for awareness. If I start to let things get away from me I can catch it sooner than if I only weighed once a week. My goal is maintenance, however, not weight loss."

Weekly was a close second. Weekly seems like a good idea for someone who is trying to lose weight, but doesn't want to commit to a daily weigh in! Seeing he results after a week can be inspiring and push you forward! And it also helps some people get upset over a few lbs here and there!

My friend Steph does weekly weigh ins, but I love that she takes her measurements monthly too! Measurements are a HUGE sign of success that many people overlook because they are so caught up on the scale!

Jenny said, "Same time, same place weekly. Especially when I was trying to shed a few lbs, I know what a healthy pace is for me in a weeks time. Daily can be very frustrating for me because it fluctuates day to day, but weekly seemed to be a good consistent amount of time to see the change."

Others said it depends on their current goals or approach. For example, my friend Lindsay shared, "Normally monthly but when I am trying to lose weight it is weekly." 

And others said monthly, yearly, and a few never weigh themselves!

I cracked up when my friend Tim said, "Surely you're not looking for males in this poll, but a couple times a year because there is a scale next to the toilet at Ashley's parents house haha!"

And my friend Chelsea shared, "When I was younger I would weigh myself multiple times daily. not ideal. a year ago or whenever that was that I was working out like a healthy person, I never weighed myself, my clothes fit well a could feel the muscle tone. (even my chiropractor made a comment on how strong I felt) after a year of living healthier and exercising I weighed myself to see where I was after a year...Of course it wasn't a negative number so I felt really down, like all that work for what? so then I started slacking....now I'm a bum again because after a year of working hard does not stick around. they mean it when they say you don't use it you lose it, I became less fit with the quickness. SO moral of the story...I don't weigh myself because I'm a big debbie downer and the number is never where I think it should be, which is an unrealistic number. lol" 

I loved hearing that other people measure their fitness and health in other ways beyond the scale!

My friend Sonia said, "my trainer makes me weigh in every week and we are doing a biggest loser challenge at work that requires a weekly weigh-in. i kind of think its a poor estimate of health, so i pay attention to other things: 1) how do my clothes fit? if they are getting looser, i know something is working. 2) how is my stamina in power walking to starbucks or taking the stairs? this to me is a huge indicator of where i am in terms of getting in better shape. 3) comments/compliments. are people saying things like "oh are you working out?" etc. because if other people notice, then yes things are definitely working for the better."

And my cousin Rebecca said, "Never!!! I used to obsess over the numbers on the scale and then I threw it away. I am a crossfitter and I measure success by my performance in the gym. There came a point when the weight loss stopped and I started packing on the pounds (muscle weighs more!!) and because the number was rising I began eating the "low fat" nutrient deprived way to get back on the downward slope. What I was really doing was hurting myself. I was sucking wind in my workouts and light headed and grumpy. Once I tossed the scale and ate to fuel my body instead of lose weight, I dropped another whole pant size. I do check my whole body bmi/bp/hydration levels/fat to lean mass weights on occasion and a scale is part of it... but if I show a "gain" in weight usually I can see where I lost 3 pounds of fat and gained 5 in muscle and it's worth it."

As for me? I find myself stepping on the scale daily because I am in weight loss mode! But after hearing these tips from everyone, I might switch to weekly or even monthly! Justin always threatens to lock up the scale anyway - he can always tell when I am upset over a silly number. He told me to focus on my workouts and focus on my inches lost. He encourages me to make new goals for the gym...do the elliptical for 30 minutes one week and try to hit 35 or 40 the next week! Once I listened to him (see honey, I do listen to you sometimes), I found myself having the best results! Setting fitness goals is way more fun and keeps me inspired to try do workouts!

I am now down 10 lbs within the last month (and down 37 lbs post baby)-  thanks to the combination of the Advocare products and hardwork at the gym! I've tried my best to eat clean and avoid dairy (it makes my stomach upset anyway), fried foods, processed foods, and sweet drinks / alcohol! 

So what about you!? What's your relationship like with the scale!?

PS Thanks to everyone who commented on yesterday's post! I wanted to share all of the responses, but I have a sick baby to snuggle with this evening!

Much love,
Ashley
 

Advocare 24-Day Challenge: Progress Report

As you probably know from following my blog, I gained nearly 50 lbs while pregnant with Cooper. Everyone kept telling me I was all belly- but let's me real, I didn't deliver a 50 lb baby (thank goodness - that's like a four year old or something!!).

40 weeks pregnant!

I stayed very active throughout my pregnancy, but my eating habits weren't the best! I mean, you guys know how much I loved my tater tots. 

The day I had Coop! 40 weeks, 4 days pregnant!

Now my little man was worth every lb and every stretch mark I gained. I wouldn't trade him for the world! And Justin and I have quickly started calling my stretch marks "beauty marks." 

"Because (the stretch marks) are proof that you carried and delivered our son...and that's such a beautful thing," Justin told me once as I cried over my new body. 

But I quickly realized I needed to make changes for my health- I want to spend as much as time possible on this earth with my family! 

The ORIGINAL birth announcement!

Right after I had Cooper, I still looked about 4 months pregnant. 

Post-baby hospital mirror selfie...what did you expect!?
Of course I would do this...

And within a week, I had lost about 20 lbs! 

One week post-baby!

But I still had a long way to go! 

And I had a laundry list of goals and dreams ahead of me - so I started the 24-day challenge! 

My experience has been wonderul! I lost 5 lbs within the first 48 hours of the cleanse. The fiber drink is not the that delicious, but it gets the job done! So I started my job chugging that, drinking my meal replacement shake, and enjoying spark - my new fav obsession!!! 

I bounced around a lot in the cleanse phase. I had a few cheat moments when I snuck in dairy or had a piece of chocolate. But I just took bites - I didn't binge eat or let one bad meal result in a full day of bad eating! 

Spark and the advocare supplements give me the energy and nutrients to feel full, balanced, and refreshed. I don't crave fast food or fried food anymore. In fact, we only ate out once so far! And I ordered a grilled chicken with a boat load of veggies! I felt great and stayed full all night long! 

I still have five days left in the max phase and I feel great! 

The challenge has helped me make healthier decisions. 

Inspired me to put my health over my cravings. 

Taught me to eat for fuel - not pleasure. 

Given me the energy to hit the gym hard and tone up my body! 

I don't eat my emotions anymore. I don't binge eat when no one is looking.

I have such a healthy and responsible relationship with food now. 

And the advocare team and products have certainly helped me get to this healthy state of mind! 

I won't tell you how much weight I've lost yet. 

I will let the pictures do the talking instead! 

I fit into my wedding ring again: 

I DO love my wedding ring.
Justin picked it out all on his own too - he has great taste!

I fit into real jeans again ( aka pre-baby jeans that have buttons): 

This was amazing until I ripped these pants.
To be fair, a rip was already there...I just fueled the fire by bending over to get Coop!

I've hit the gym 3-5 times a week, which is great for being a new mom!!! 

Workout buddies.

I am fitting into my "skinny" workout clothes again: 

November 2012 (pre-pregnancy) vs. November 2013 (post-baby).

And I am losing inches and toning up like a boss: 

Left = BEFORE
Right = 18 days on The Challenge

Left = BEFORE
Right = 18 days on The Challenge

I feel amazing.

I am on the right path toward health and happiness. 

But simply sharing a number on a scale wouldn't be as powerful as sharing these pictures and little success stories.

Success and happiness are not always about a number. And thanks to my husband- I am inspired  to keep hitting new milestones and creating new goals at the gym! He has encouraged me to get back to my active lifestyle - he's my biggest fan and the best personal chef. 

My other better half.

As for Coop, all he needs to do is smile and I am inspired to never give up! 

My whole heart.

And Bandit is still the best running partner in the world! 

My fur son is the best running buddy!

And as for you - my lovely blog reader - you help keep me accountable and inspired! Each positive comment and story you share with me gives me inspiration to keep fighting toward my goals. You're the best - thanks for always cheeringe on!!! 

Much love, 

Ashley 

P.S. If you want to learn more about Advocare, check out my personal page here: https://www.advocare.com/13116377/default.aspx

Send me a message to tell me more about your goals and challenges - I can help you purchase the 24-Day Challenge or build your own bundle of products to support your goals and lifestyle! GOOD LUCK!

Why I Am Doing the Advocare 24 Day Challenge

At the peek of my pregnancy, I hit a number that absolutely terrifies me.

A number that you see on the scales of The Biggest Loser.

A number that I never thought I'd see.

A number that was almost 100 lbs higher than my freshmen year of college weight.

Oh, I could just cry.

What happened to me?

It surely wasn't all pregnancy.

I let the stress of life and work and everything inbetween fuel my emotional eating habits. If you're an avid reader and follower of my blog, you know that I've ALWAYS struggled with my weight. Always.

I've tried many diets.

I've tried new exercise programs.

I've trained for many half marathons.

I've came EXTREMELY close to hitting my goal. I was under 200 lbs for the first time in YEARS in May 2012.

I felt amazing, but pretty soon I let the stress of failed pregnancy tests bring me down. And then it happened! YOU GUESSED IT! I started eating my emotions and stopped working out as much.

Despite gaining nearly 30 lbs back, on January 1, 2013 I discovered the best news of my life. Our little miracle was official!

I was pregnant!

I can safely say I enjoyed every single minute of my pregnancy - including the extra calories (primarily in the form of tater tots).

Now that Cooper is 6.5 weeks old, I am ready for a change...which is why I colored my hair blonde and got extensions!

Kidding! This wig is for my Halloween costume on Friday!

But really- I'm ready to get back to the gym!

I am ready to work harder. I've been cleared by my doctor to start working out again...and I'm ready to get this body back in shape!

My body in present day.

NOW - before someone tells me that I shouldn't worry about a number on the scale...trust me, I am not putting my life on the line for a number. I'm a FIRM believer that a number on the scale shouldn't determine your self-worth! I do have a goal number in mind by the end of 2014 (195 lbs). But I will also measure my success in other ways...like the way my clothes fit, the way I feel, and the results at the doctor's office.

And to help me hit my goals, I am going to kick-start my weight loss journey this time around doing the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. I've been hearing about these products and this challenge for years.

But honestly, I was hesitant to purchase the products because I didn't want to spend a TON of money and have failed results. I also didn't want to live my life by drinking meal replacement shakes for every meal - that's totally unrealistic for me.

But I talked with my friend Bobbi Shane who sells the products and felt inspired! Instead of making an impulse purchase, I did my research.

I asked friends who had used the products about their experience.

I read testimonials from independent bloggers.

I read reviews from all over the place.

I did my due diligence.

And last night, I purchased the products needed for the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. In a nutshell, the challenge is supplementation and nutrition plan.

The first 10 days of the program is a cleanse program, designed to rid your body of toxins and chemicals to help your body better absorb the nutrients needed for a healthy body and mind.

The next 14 days use the supplements and nutrient plan to provide sustained energy, appetite control, core nutrition, and overall wellness.

At this point, I NEED to lose the weight.

Because I want to live a really long and healthy life.

Because I want to wear my wedding ring again.

Because I want to watch my son and his children get married one day.

Because I want to run more half marathons- and at this weight, my knees and hips couldn't handle the extra pressure this weight is putting on my body.

Because I want to feel the natural energy gained from eating and drinking the best foods and drinks.

Because I want to chase my son around one day without running out of breathe.

Because I want to wear jeans again - not only leggings or jeggings.

Because I want to wear the size Medium dress I worked SO hard to get into two summers ago. 

Medium.

Because I want to BELIEVE my husband when he tells me I'm sexy and beautiful.

Because I want to feel comfortable again when wearing a swimsuit on vacation.

Because I want to run on the beach in my swimsuit and not worry about my fat jiggling all over place.

Because I want to sit in an airplane seat and not feel like I'm toppling over on the person next to me.

Because I want to walk into a store and feel confident that they will have something in my size.

Because I want to go to an amusement park and not worry about exceeding the weight limit for a ride.

Because I want to encourage my son to live a healthy and active lifestyle.

Because I want to feel good and positive about myself more often than not.

Because I want to feel proud about the decisions I make for my health.

Because I don't want to live my life constantly feeling guilty for the emotional eating and bad habits that haunt me each night.

Because I want to try crossfit.

Because I want to look like this again.

BAM!

And do this agian.

Hey best mile time EVER!

 Because I want to complete a sprint triathlon this summer.

Because I want to have another child or two (and don't want to weigh 300+ lbs at the end of it all).

I'm doing this challenge because at the end of the day, my health is what keeps me here with my family and friends for many, many years to come.

And I NEED to lose weight for these exciting moments and memories to occur. Heart disease and diabetes run heavy in my family. I refuse to let these diseases take me down...without putting up a strong fight, anyway!

Wish me luck.

Cheer me on.

And follow along!

I am not 100% sure when I will start the program. I'm thinking sometime in the next couple of weeks.

But don't worry -I'll be sure to post pictures, share exciting developments, and write an HONEST review when I am done!

Until then, I have these guys inspiring me each and every single day.

My boys.

And this guy too!

Can't forget about B!

Much love,
Ashley

How Running Changed My Life

I was in fifth grade.

And it was my least favorite day of the year.

I know it was Fall because I remember being told to dress warm.

And I remember complaining that the cool air made it harder to breathe.

But my gym teacher didn't really care if I liked warm or cool weather- we must accomplish the task at hand. It was the infamous "mile day" at school. We had to run around the playground and school four times....but it felt like forty-four times.

I wanted my mom to call me in sick.

No, I actually wanted to break my leg.

Maybe I could trip over a crack in the sidewalk on the way to school.

Or fall off my bike. Yes, that's it!

I'd fall off my bike and then I'd be out of the timed mile.

As I rode my bike to school that day, I remembered the plan I thought of the night before. It's simple. Just crash your bike. You don't have to get hurt THAT bad - you can fake some of your injury.

But alas- I didn't have the balls to wreck my bike. So I peddled along and tried not to cry thinking about my least favorite day of the year - with lice check day being a close second. Seriously- don't act like you didn't fear lice check day too. It's like a random drug search at school - you aren't warned it's going to happen and you secretly worry the person next to your coat (or locker) is going to screw you over. Anyway, lice check day is another blog post...moving along!

It's not that I couldn't run. I was physically capable of running. But I was overweight, which meant that I would be one of the last kids to finish. If not THE last kid to finish.

And I felt that finishing last would be one more thing the kids could use against me when they taunted me about my height and weight.

I hated running.

And I hated mile day at school.

Flash forward 15 years.....

I'm not that insecure, chubby girl that gets teased and picked last for everything. 

Well, chubby - maybe (I mean, I just had a baby!!!) - but my self-esteem is higher than ever before.

Three years ago (as of yesterday actually), I ran my first half marathon.

And the hilarious part? Remember how I told you that I wanted to get out of mile day at school by wrecking my bike? Well, I got in an awful bike accident the week OF my first half marathon! I share the full story of that bike accident in this blog post: Always Wear Your Helmet

But in a nutshell, Justin and I went on an evening bike ride the Monday of race week. I wanted to "take it easy" and not injury myself before the big day. That plan completely back fired and I ended up crashing into a guard rail.

As a result, I had bruised ribs, scraps all over my hands and elbows, and a gigantic bruise on my hip! My bike was ruined - I actually had to push it back to our apartment- two miles away! I am chuckling now as I remember that walk home:

"We walked home in silence, only to the sound of the rhythmic squeal from the wheel. Then a laugh. Then a moan from me. Then another laugh."

Despite that awful bike accident, I decided to run the race: To Run or Not to Run, That is Thy Question  is the blog post that explains why I made the decision to run.

Running toward the finish line!

The best running partners a girl could have for her first race!

Dancing across the finish line. Obviously.

The best cheerleaders!

And once I danced across that finish line, I said goodbye to that insecure fifth grade girl living inside of me. I proved all of those kids wrong who said I was weak or slow or incapable of being a good asset to their team.

I was surrounded by loving and supportive people. I was sore - extremely SORE - but I was inspired. I went home that very day and signed up for my next half marathon.

Since then, I've completed five half marathons, two full marathon relays, and countless 5Ks.

I've achieved new records and personal bests with friends by my side!

And I've ran races where my friends stuck by my side when I've done my personal worst.
Brittany - I adore you and I wouldn't be the runner I am today with you staying my side and encouraging me through every single race! xoxo!

I've raised nearly $700 by running and fundraising for the American Heart Association.

I've ran races in extreme heat!

And bundled up for races in cold months!

I've worn my medal as a fashion statement.

I inspired my mom and brother to run their first race!

I've logged many, many miles with my best friend.

Amd I've made best friends with complete strangers!

And I've met people who inspired me to finish when I wanted to give up.

I've had fabulous race photos.

And hilarious ones too.

I've ran fast.

And walked slow.

I crossed the finish line five months pregnant.
Coop's first race.

But no matter the race - no matter the distance - I always had fun.

 My transformation all started with a single decision.

A single plan to run a race.

At first, I simply wanted to lose weight.

And sure, I lost those extra pounds holding me down -both physically and emotionally. But I gained so much more...

I went from hating running to living for running.

I went from a weak, insecure girl to a strong, confident woman.

I went from having no fitness motivation to living off a half marathon training plan.

Today, I believe in myself.

I run toward new challenges instead of running away.

I have balance in my life.

I have an outlet for managing stress.

I have a way to set and achieve both personal and fitness goals.

I am confident in my strength - both mental and physical.

And I wouldn't be this person without running.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an amazing runner. I've struggled through countless miles. Cried thought lots more. I'm slow. I take walking breaks. And I certainly have room to improve. But that's the fun part - knowing that with each step I take- I am becoming better and stronger!

 I'm so thankful for all of the people, races, friendships, distances, medals, memories, and stories that running has brought into my life.

As a new mother, I'm overly excited to share this passion with my son. I dream of us running races together and living a fit, active life. Maybe I can inspire him to LOVE mile day at school. But I suppose if he hates running - he can at least come cheer me on, right?  He will make a pretty cute spectator.

Much love,
Ashley

Run Like a Mother

Before I went to bed on Friday night, I received a message from my friend Jenna that completely melted my heart + inspired me to no end. She wrote:

"Good Luck tomorrow Ashley....you are such an inspiration and you will do great! You have inspired myself to try and run a couple 5K's myself this summer. Just starting this whole training thing and think about you often as you are always motivating and inspiring others! You are such a great person Ashley!"

I went to bed hopeful, and excited about my race in the morning (despite having an awful sinus infection / chest cold).

I woke up to dog paws tapping the wooden floor.

My alarm clock had been going off for about 15 minutes.

But Willard (my friend's adorable dog) wanted to make sure I woke up on time for our marathon relay. He started barking and then banging his head on the door. Willard didn't want me to oversleep.

I pulled myself out of bed and opened the door. Willard was starring right up at me.

"How are you feeling, lady?" Carla asked me as I walked into the bathroom.

I coughed, sneezed three times, and then blew my nose.

"Better, I think!" I said back.

"I think you're a good liar," Carla said back.

She was right. I felt awful. And I honestly thought about trying to find someone else to run for me. But after the Boston events, I found myself more determined than ever to participate in the race.

I proudly put on my "Running for Two" t-shirt (one of my many layers) and placed on my bib.

"Baby on Board"

We had a late start, but we sill managed to pick up everyone, find a good parking spot, and be at the start line in time for the race to begin.

We found ourselves struggling to keep warm. Carla kept refreshing her iPhone to see if the weather temperature would change.

"30 degrees," Carla said. "Feels like 26 degrees..."

Running in cold weather is a challenge. And running in cold weather with a head cold is even harder.

We took a group picture before parting ways.

Team ROYGBIV!!!
Me, Jami, Robyn, and Carla.

I managed to sneak back up to the start line and watch Jami kick off the relay for us.

I couldn't find her at first, but I saw her toward the middle of the pack.

'YAHHHH JAMI!" I yelled from the sidelines.

She turned over to see me and got a giant smile on her face. I don't think she was expecting anyone to come cheer her on.

I waved goodbye and let out a good "WHOOAA!"

And then I cried.

Why?

Because Jami had a giant smile on her face.

Because I love races.

Because I love runners.

Because I love seeing people be active and care about their fitness.

Because I thought about Jenna's post from the night before. 

And mainly, I cried because I'm pregnant.


Spoiler alert: I cried about 30 times at the race.

After everyone Jami kicked off the race and everyone parted ways, I was left with my group of Leg 4 runners.

I overheard two woman chatting next to me about the many marathons they've done over the years.

The adorable, older Asian lady said, "After Boston, I knew I wanted to do another race. So I bought a ticket to the Indy Mini."

I interrupted, desperate for a conversation, "Have you ever done that race before?"

"Yes, many years ago," she said. "What about you!? Are you doing it this year?"

"Wellll," I started. "I am five months pregnant, so I don't think doing a half marathon is in my cards."

I was surprised at how many other runners turned around to congratulate me on my pregnancy + compliment me for being so active during my pregnancy.

I learned more and more about the runners next to me.

Most of them were FAST. One girl said she was injured, but hoping for a slower pace of 6:30 minutes per mile.

SLOWER PACE!?!?

Try doubling that and then you have my average pace.

Feeling a little intimidated about my future, I text Justin:

"Soooo everyone on my leg is legit runners- like 10+ full marathons! Will you still love me if I am the last one to cross the finish line?"

He replied back:

"Lmao. Hopefully they have all of their pregnant runners starting. So you may start way before them and tie."

I wrote back:

"Hahah in a perfect world!"

And Justin's charm came to the rescue again:

"But yes, I will love you no matter what. Even if you end up on the bus shame (in November. let's hope you don't end up riding the bus within 4 miles."

The bus of shame = the trolly that drives around picking up runners who are going too slow.

I got to my starting point around 9 am, which meant I had about three hours before I would run. I spent the time catching up on supporting text messages from my amazing friends and family, Facebook stalking, trying to predict my finish time, and chatting with the runners around me.

Eventually, I realized the marathon runners were passing by so I stepped outside to cheer them.

This is when I started to cry again.

The courage and strength it takes to complete a full marathon is so inspiring.

I tried to look every single runner in the eyes and say something uplifting to them. I wanted them to know how amazing they are...how strong they looked...I've often heard that hitting mile 22 is the hardest. You feel so close, yet so far away. So I felt I had an obligation to give every runner a boast of inspiration and support to finish strong.

And I found myself getting SO mad at the people / other relay runners standing around not cheering for the marathoners passing by... some of these marathoners were in pain - whether it be physical or emotional-  and the best thing we can provide them is support and inspiration.

I started cheering loudly and recruited the people around me to cheer on the other runners. I wanted to yell at everyone for being jerks and just sitting around on their phones. Some people were standing on the course, which made marathoners have to dodge around them...instead of making a huge scene and screaming- I got tears in my eyes and cheered louder for the inspiring runners ahead of me.

The smiles and "thank yous" I received from the runners made my loud cheers completely worth it!

Eventually, I saw Carla running up to the relay exchange. She looked strong! I was SO proud of her and her amazing pace. In fact, I later learned that everyone had a fantastic pace - PR worthy paces! 

(PR = personal record)

"I had to run an extra mile," Carla said.

"Holy cow," I said back. "I am soooo proud of you girl. You did great."

"Your turn," she said and handed me the baton. "Good luck!!"

I took off running and waved goodbye to the mini cheering section I had created.

About 2 minutes into my run, I hated life.

I wanted to stop.

I questioned why I was even running in the first place.

My legs were tight from standing up and yelling the cold weather, despite my efforts to jog in place and stretch.

My nose was cold and raw from blowing it 100 million times over the past few days.

My chest was heavy, which made breathing hard.

I stopped for a walking interval and a runner passed me.

"Great job," I said. "Keep it up!"

Even though I was walking, which implies to some that I've given up, the marathoner turned and smiled.
 
He was an older man. Probably about 69 years old.

"You too, kiddo!" He said. "Keep it up!"

I promised myself that I would thank encourage every single runner who passed me. And I would thank every single volunteer, spectator, and police officer that I saw on the course.

I did a lot of powering walking and stopped once to use the restroom in a portable potty. At one point, I grabbed my stomach and said, "Coop - you have to get me through...I need you buddy."

Cooper was definitely my running buddy / internal cheerleader. 

I kept doing intervals of power walking and running.  But I did more power walking than running. I was getting frustrated that I didn't see any mile markers. Eventually, I came across another water station. It was down hill so my speed REALLY picked up and I felt awesome. 

Every single volunteer at the water station started cheering and yelling for me.

And I started bawling.

I could barely get the words, "Thank you" out of me.

One man commented on my shirt and I told him that I was five months pregnant that day.

"Wow- that's impressive," he said. "Great job!!!"

I took a walking break to drink my water and two drunk guys sitting in their front yard started yelling, "FINISH THAT WATER GIRL! STOP WALKING AND START RUNNING. YOU ARE ALMOST DONE. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!"

I couldn't stop laughing and they inspired me to start running again.

I tossed my cup and took off running toward the mile marker sign - the first one I'd seen since I started.

Mile 25. 

I pulled my phone from my sports bra and text Carla my location (you can tell we cheered each other on via text all afternoon):

I love her.

I fought up a hill and a few police officers started cheering me on because I stopped to walk.

"Fight through the pain," he said. "You're almost done."

"I'm five months pregnant," I said. "This is harder than I thought."

He, like so many others, complimented me for running while pregnant. I started crying (obviously), thanked him (like I did all the other police officers), and continued running.

About that time, I saw Jami standing on the right corner.

She saw me coming and started jumping up and down while yelling my name.

When I reached her, she started to run with me, but I had to stop to catch my breath.

Even though I stopped to walk, her positive energy and support was EXACTLY what I needed. I can't explain how thankful and happy I was that Jami spent that last half mile by my side.

We power walked for a few blocks. Jami was a few steps ahead of me to push me to keep fighting through the pain. We chatted about her section of the race, which was her best ever, and that made me very happy. She encouraged me to keep running or walking at whatever pace I needed.

We reached a certain point and I started running again.

"The finish line is up that hill and around the corner," Jami said.

"How far away would you say?" I asked.

"Not too far," Jami said. "But if I was running like you, I would think it's farther than it looks. But it's really close."

We picked up the pace and started to run again.

My body hated me.

I stopped to walk.

"I DON'T WANT TO STOP," I screamed, frustrated with my sick body.

I stopped for about 30 seconds to catch my breathe and we started running around.

"Say something," I said. "Anything."

I just wanted to take my mind off the pain.

"You're almost done," Jami said. 

Just then, I saw a group of people and they started cheering for us. One of the signs said:

Run Like A Mother

As if she was reading my mind, Jami said, "Run like a mother! Hey, you're a mother! You got this, Ash!"

"I am mother," I said.

I could see my relay teammates cheering for me and I had Jami by my side.  I started repeating "I am a mother" in my head and then we took off sprinting toward the finish line.

Running like a mother.

  
I debated long and hard about sharing these pictures of me post-finish line. But heck - you guys have seen the best and worst of me, so here you go...This is what happens when you try sprinting with a head and chest cold:

I am pretty sure I coughed and then peed my pants at this point.
Oh, the joys of running + being sick while pregnant.
You're welcome for the laugh.

Another unattractive finisher photo.

A few minutes later, a volunteer wrapped a medal around my neck. I turned around to see a marathoner who had been walking toward the finish line with a group of family and friends. I think she got injured on the course.

I turned around when I heard everyone cheering.

She crossed the finish line and put her hands in her face. She started crying.

And obviously, I started crying for her.
 
The Carmel Marathon Relay was my best-worst race.

It was the best race because of the random cheerleaders, amazing teammates, and having Cooper with me the entire time.

And it was the worst race from a time perspective. I'm not sure what my finishing time was, but I am sure it was close to an hour.

But, some races aren't meant to be personal bests. And this race, while I was slower than usual, was a very memorable race.

Thank you for all the love and support! I couldn't have finished (or even got to the start line) without the encouraging words and inspiration from each and every single one of you!


Much love,
Ashley