A Safe Word

"We need a safe word," I told Cayla four months ago. "Something that you can say when I am super emotional or upset....but it can't be something that will make me even more angry...."

Looking back, I'm not sure if Cayla or I choose the word "lemon" - but that's what we picked!

Maybe it's because lemons are sour and I shouldn't be a sour person.

Or maybe it's because pregnancy made me fall deeply in love with fresh lemonade!

But, either way, lemon.

That's our safe word.

My morning started out great. I woke up with enough time to shower AND cook breakfast, which was a victory considering how I have problems sleeping these days.

Every SINGLE night I wake up between 1:30 and 3:15 am.

Every.

Night.

I usually have a nightmare...

The majority of the time someone is breaking into our house or kidnapping me.

I always grab Justin's arm.

"Babe, did you hear that?" I ask him every night.

Usually there is nothing to be heard...

He grunts. 

Then I try to wake up Bandit and make him cuddle with me.

He wants nothing to do with me.

Neither of them do.

So, I turn on the TV.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is at 2:30.

And then TMZ's gossip show comes on around 3.

Justin groans and tells me that I'm out of control.

And asks me to go in another room.

I refuse.

I do some Facebook stalking for about 30 minutes.

And then try to lay back down, with the glow of the TV helping me spot robbers, rapists, and kidnappers that try to enter my room. Oh, and evil spirits / ghosts, which I also hallucinate. 

Well, last night - someone drove by our house and picked up some old lawn furniture we left out for someone to grab OR the trash man to take away....

I hear the car down slam shut and then hear what sounds like an alien space ship crashing into our driveway aka the person chucked the heavy furniture into the back of the truck.

BANG!

Justin and I both wake up....and we both know, that I'm going to be up for the next hour or so.

So sleep, yeah, I'm not getting much of it these days- which probably adds to my moodiness.

Anyway, the weatherman was hilarious this morning. He made me laugh for about 20 minutes straight because he said, "And it's just what everyone loves to hear...today is a dry hump day!"

But things happen and people say things and then I get annoyed / frustrated.

I told Cayla I was having one of those days where everyone and everything makes you upset.

Eventually, it was time for lunch and I ate my emotions (obviously, you knew that was coming).

Then, I felt the guilt sink in....I told Justin we needed to make a dinner under 400 calories. I made plans to take a walking break later in the afternoon, run 1.5 miles with Bandit, and then hit up the gym for the elliptical.

When I walked back to my desk, I found the most perfect gift.

Two lemons.

And a card.

To you, this just two lemons and a card.
To me, this a day maker.

How did Cayla know I ate my emotions at Panera today?

Everyone needs a safe word.

And wonderful friends.

Much love,
Ashley

I'm (Almost) Back

I was going to blog on Sunday, but that would require leaving my bed.

I literally spent the entire day napping (and it was glorious).

Let's recap my weekend!

On Friday night, I had dinner with my friends from high school - nothing makes me happier than my hometown crew.

But before I went out, I finally got my package containing my new baby bump t-shirt.

Only to my surprise, it was the wrong t-shirt!

Just three years late on this one...

Although Justin and I both decided it will be super hilarious to rock this shirt at the gym when I am mega pregnant.

Stay tuned for those pictures.

Anyway, Saturday afternoon we had lunch with Justin's Uncle and his girlfriend at Barcelona Tapas (my favorite place ever). This time, however, I didn't have the sangria. It was bittersweet.

On Saturday evening, I worked at event with My Best Friend's Hair and Hair Mafia. They launched a new tool for stylists to make more money (at no cost and zero risk), sell more products, and have better relationships with their clients! I'm not a hair stylists, but this new product inspires me! So, I was SUPER excited to be a part of the launch party.

I got there around 5 pm to help with event set-up. I wasted no time chatting with one of my new favorite people ever (that's you Megan Giannini) while we stuffed gift bags for our guests.

Meg looks super yet.
My left eye looks black?
Typical.

I ended up running errands with Rachel most of the night.

Partner in Crime!

Then I got back for my hair and make-up. I truly felt like a celebrity- getting pampered for a big event.

I haven't felt this beautiful and awake in weeks!
Thank you for the pre-event makeover, MBFH!

While I was getting my make-up done (I feel in love with my stylist and want her to move in + do my make-up daily), I was reminded how lucky Justin and I am to be on this journey together. One of her close friends tried to get pregnant for years and years. They finally decided to adopt, but then the adoption fell through...it was one heart break after other. Finally (a few weeks ago), an adoption went through and they now have a little girl.

I walked away holding back tears and counting my blessings. 

Anyway, later in the evening I had to make a booze run! When I got back Mel (my close friend and Marketing Manager for MBFH) helped me carry in one of the boxes.

She saw the little package of newborn diapers that my sister, Sarah, recently gave me.

"Oh my gosh," she said and put her hand on her chest. "This just makes me want to cry. I want you to know how happy I am for you guys. When you told me you were pregnant, I literally cried at work. Seriously- I'm so happy for you guys..."

I'm so very lucky and thankful to be surrounded by such supporting and loving people. I've always admired Mel, long before she was a mother. But now that I've seen her grow-up and become one of the best mom's I know...I'm even more inspired by her motherly instincts, beauty, intelligence, and heart. On her days off, she really is "off" - she takes her son to swim glass, drum glass, and they never miss out on an opportunity to explore and be outside.

"It's really important to me that Charlie has a sense of adventure," Mel said when I told that I love how much fun her and Charlie have together.

After bonding over newborn diapers and babies, the hair show began! These girls killed it on the runway and I loved all of their styles!

The models all lined up at the end of the show.
Photo credit: Megan Giannini.

Overall, Saturday evening was a total blast. I made new friends.

Chrissy's energy and smile is so contagious!
Love her!

 And caught up with old friends. 

I love this girl beyond words! Such a great surprise to see you, Abby!

 And I spent most of Sunday recovering.

So, I'm almost back! I was able to stay up past midnight on Saturday, which is almost a pregnancy record for me!

I really can't wait for that second trimester energy boost!

Okay, The Bachelor is on (guilty pleasure) so I'm done rambling.

Much love,
Ashley

A Year of Random Acts of Kindness: Week 4

Kindness comes in all forms.

A smile.

A small gift.

A donation.

A helping hand.

A phone call.

A compliment.

An amount of your time.

A cookie.

A shoulder to cry on.

A door to hold open.

And during Week 4, my random act of kindess came in the form of advice. 

A week earlier, I was running with one of my best friends Ryan. He told me he had a second job interview at a position he was REALLY excited about.

The job had some elements of social media, so while we were running I started rattling off ideas and opportunities for him to consider.

"If you want, I can take a look at the site and give you some ideas!" I told Ryan. "I also have a lot of research I could send your way."

"Would you really? That would be amazing!" Ryan said.

On Sunday evening, I realized the weekend escaped and I had forgotten to email Ryan the information I promised.

Frantically, I typed up a list of ideas and gave him research for inspiration. The ideas were simple enough to inspire him...and I knew he would take the ideas and run with them + apply them to the organization to the position / organization.

Ryan replied back in all capital letters: "WOW- YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you so much!"

A week later, Ryan called me at work and left me the best voicemail ever.

I saved it because his kind words and happiness was so contagious.

When I called him back, I could feel his smile through his voice.

"I got the job!" he said instantly.

"I am soooo proud of you, Ryan!" I said. "I knew you'd get it!

"Ashley, I couldn't have done it without you," Ryan said. "You've done your good karma for an entire year!"

At that moment, I realized that I did my random act of kindness and didn't even know it! And best of all, my friend has a job that he loves!

As you grow in your profession and gain more skills, don't hoard your knowledge to yourself.

Share your ideas and inspiration with your friends, especially if they are seeking your help!

Offer your best advice.

Encourage them to be creative.

And most importantly, believe in them.

Much love,
Ashley 

Somebody That I Used to Know

While running today, the song "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye came on.

I didn't cry. You should be proud about that...

However, I couldn't help but think of a few people in my life who drifted away from me.

One moved away without even saying goodbye.

One has completely shut me out...I think I've seen this person 4 times in the last two years.

Another has made a decent effort to keep in touch, but it feels forced.


I suppose part of growing up is growing apart...

But when I love someone, I love hard.

My friends are my family.

So with each of these fading friendships, I feel like I am losing part of myself.

"But you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough" 

It's like a break-up. I'll find myself looking at their pictures...remembering our old memories.

So many memories. 

As I'm writing this post, I'm somehow finding the courage to smile. I know that some friendships are "over" - but others are just starting. And I couldn't be happier about the friendships I've developed over the last year.

Everyone is in (or out) of your life for a reason. 


Much love,
Ashley