Doctor, Doctor Give Me the News

Who had a doctors appointment 1.5 days after her Vegas vacation!?

This girl. 

I have to admit I was a little terrified about gaining too much weight from eating out nearly every meal. 

And even though I walked a lot and probably sweated out all my calories, I wanted to make sure I maintained a healthy weight gain. 

Not because of a number on the scale...

Because gaining too much weight in a short amount of time isn't good for me or my babes! 

But the weight gain and scale aside, I simply wanted to hear my little man's heart beat. I honestly don't feel a ton of movement... And I try not to let it freak me out, but sometimes it just does. 

Is he okay in there? 

Am I doing the right things to make sure he keeps growing into a healthy baby boy!?  

I have learned extremely early on that parenthood will be a lot of worrying about your little one being okay.

And safe.

Safety and health will never stop being a top concern. 

Walking in the hospital, I completely spaced on which floor I needed to get off on. 

How can I not remember this!?

It's only been three weeks! 

Oh crap- 2 or 3...

Just then an adorable older man got in the elevator and said, "Ohhhh - I know what floor you're going to!" 

Thank God someone does. 

He hit floor #3. 

"Why thank you," I said. "I almost forgot where I was going!" 

He thought I was joking. 

But I wasn't.

And I was thankful for him! 

"Do you know what you're having?!" he asked me. 

"Yes, a little boy," I said back with a big smile. 

"So many boys!" he said. "It's like we are planning for a big war or something! Is there a draft I don't know about?" 

We shared stories about all the boys in our families and parted ways once the elevator dinged on floor 3.

"Good luck with everything young lady!" he yelled back. 

Oh, I just love COMs and kind strangers. 

COM = cute old man (in case you forgot). 

So, how did my appt go?! 

Good news #1 

I only gained 3 lbs since my last appt!!!! I was so pumped. 

Take that, Vegas! 

Good news #2

I had a "nice and calm" blood pressure rate per my nurse. 

Good news #3 

The moment the doctor walked into the room, he said, "Girl - look at you! You look wonderful- how do you feel!?" 

He told me I passed my glucose test with flying colors and assured me that my belly (aka baby) is growing at a normal and healthy rate! 

Good news #4 

Little Cooper had a very steady and healthy heart beat. 

I could listen to it all day. In fact, how much do those things cost!? Can I put one on my baby registry!? 

I told the doctor about how I don't feel a ton of movement, but he assured me everything is fine. 

"You really will start to feel him moving around more and more," he said. "You will be saying something different at your next appointment." 

His confidence and smile were both encouraging. 

"Well girl," my doctor said. "I am kicking you out of here. You look amazing. You're doing amazing. Keep it up!" 

The positive appointment was exactly what I needed today. 

I'm feeling blessed and thankful for my healthy body and baby...especially with D-day two months away from today!! 

The bump.
Don't mind the stains on my tank top.
I think it's water, but I can't be sure these days.

And yes, my belly is exploding!

Justin even had to put my socks AND shoes on tonight so I could walk Bandit!

Once he laced up my last shoe, he looked up and said, "You truly are so beautiful!"

His eyes and smile told me he really meant it. He leaned up and gave me a kiss.

Justin always knows how to make me smile and feel great about myself- even if I have giant cankles and stains on my t-shirt.

I am not sure how my belly can possibly get any bigger, but I know it will! Justin even got the measuring tape out to show me how much larger my belly will probably get over the next two months. Here we grow...

Looks like Bandit is going to run out of room on the love seat soon. 

Much love, 

Ashley 

Never Trust a Girl If Her Thighs Don't Touch

I decided to travel with style yesterday. I wore my black maxi dress, black and white stripped cover up, and adorable sandals.

As I was walking through the airport, I immediately realized I forgot to pack an extremely important item: body glide (aka the anti-chaffing miracle worker).

At first, my rubbing thighs didn't bother me. However, once Britt picked us up from the airport and we started walking to the burger joint - I was in big time pain.

Now, I did pat down my big ol' thighs with some baby powder before we left, but that only lasted about 35 seconds before the chaffing took over my life.

"Babe, I am not sure if I can make it," I said to Justin.

He started laughing.

"You got this!" He said, encouraging me to fight through the pain.

I would make him stop every few blocks so I could separate my legs and give myself a break.

"Will you be embarrassed if I put my dress between my legs and try to walk?" I asked him.

"Do what you gotta do!" J said back

That was a bad idea. And I looked ridiculous, so I gave up.

After about a mile (the longest mile of my life probably), Justin said, "We should be here."

I looked around with no signs of the burger joint...

Thankfully, it was just a block up the road!

I started giving myself an internal pep talk, "You have done five half marathons - you can make it!!"

Once we got there, I rushed to the bathroom trying to think of something to relieve the pain.

I tossed down my bag and cover up on the ground and rushed to the kitchen sink to apply cold water to my burning thighs.

Is this real life?

As I went to pick up my bag, I realized the toilet was leaking. My new Vera Bradley backpack was soaked with piss water.

"You have got to be kidding me," I screamed so loud the kitchen staff probably heard me.

Then I picked up my cover up, which was also completely soaked.

I did the walk of shame to my table am found Justin sitting there drooling over which burger to order.

I told him what happened and he started laughing- this really is just another day in my life full of awkwardness and bad luck.

"Hey, I live by your theory," Justin said. "Never trust a girl if her thighs don't touch."

We both laughed and I went to eat a French fry.

Side note- I asked for ranch dressing to dip my fries in and the server thought I was crazy + told me they don't have ranch dressing...must be a Midwest thing!

Then my inner-self started talking, "Your thighs touch because you eat burgers with bacon and fries."

I looked at Justin, who was smiling at me and said, "How is everything?"

"Wonderful," I said.

I'm on vacation.

I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant.

I picked up another fry and popped it into my mouth.

My thighs will always touch. And that's fine. My self-worth is not measured by the size of my thighs.

So we enjoyed our first lunch in DC and I waddled (literally, waddled) my way to CVS.

"Where is the chaffing cream?" I moaned with desperation.

"Do they have a big thigh section!?" Justin asked.

Oh yeah, right next to the big booty isle, J!!

I gave up and found some lotion - this will get me home!!

"Where are you going to put that on?" Justin asked.

"A dark alley, a bush - I don't care!" I said.

Thankfully, a Dunkin Donuts was across the street so I ran into the bathroom.

What a relief.

So, what we did we learn yesterday?

Never travel without body glide.

Don't walk 1.5 miles in a maxi dress.

And never trust a girl if her thighs don't touch.

Final side note: If your thighs don't touch, I am only kidding. Good for you - now go eat a burger and fries (with ranch dressing ).

Much love,
Ashley

PS I am blogging from my cell phone, so please excuse any extra typos and the lack of pictures!

Eating for Two is Too Much

Are you like me?

Could you eat pizza for EVERY single meal?

Today we went to lunch at Pearl Street Pizzeria downtown Indy to discuss our upcoming events for Meggie's Woman of the Year campaign. You should support her and donate to the LLS after you're done reading my lunch confession.

Anyway...

EVERYONE at the table ordered a salad, except for me.

I ordered an 8 inch hand tossed pizza - Quattro Forrmaggio style (yeah, good luck saying that one)....

After I ordered the pizza by pointing at the menu and saying, "Let's be real  - I don't know how to say this pizza....but that's what I want..." - the server informed me it's basically a four cheese pizza.

Great, exactly what my lactose sensitive butt needs: four cheeses.

Oh well, the pizza sounded delicious.

NO ONE at the table finished their entire salad, but I managed to throw down my entire pizza + eye the extra salad laying around. I honestly wanted to box up some of the salads for dinner later tonight.

I googled pregnant eating for a good picture (since I inhaled my pizza before I could snap a picture)  and the majority of the pictures are adorable woman smiling with a fruit basket or salad in front of them. Most of them are in their undies and have a belly shirt on. UM NO that is NOT what I look like laying around my house....Anyway, I did finally find a picture that would fit my situation:

This is not me (obviously).
But I'm jealous of her french fries.
Scotty's waffle fries with ranch dressing sound really good.

And you want to know what article this image links back to on Google: Eating for Two is Too Much.

Noted, Google. Noted...

You know, I would have felt fine using the whole, "I'm pregnant" excuse to explain my unhealthy choices.

But number one- let's be real, pizza just sounded better.

Number two, there was a 30 week pregnant woman at the table with us who happily ordered a salad, ate half it, and still had some of her breadstick leftover.

And number three, I need to save my "pregnancy excuses" for when I really need them...like when I cry because someone takes the last bagel that I want from Panera...or when I get extremely mad at Justin because he tells me I'm addicted to Gossip Girl and lay around all night.

Until then, bonjour!

Much love,
Ashley 

A Safe Word

"We need a safe word," I told Cayla four months ago. "Something that you can say when I am super emotional or upset....but it can't be something that will make me even more angry...."

Looking back, I'm not sure if Cayla or I choose the word "lemon" - but that's what we picked!

Maybe it's because lemons are sour and I shouldn't be a sour person.

Or maybe it's because pregnancy made me fall deeply in love with fresh lemonade!

But, either way, lemon.

That's our safe word.

My morning started out great. I woke up with enough time to shower AND cook breakfast, which was a victory considering how I have problems sleeping these days.

Every SINGLE night I wake up between 1:30 and 3:15 am.

Every.

Night.

I usually have a nightmare...

The majority of the time someone is breaking into our house or kidnapping me.

I always grab Justin's arm.

"Babe, did you hear that?" I ask him every night.

Usually there is nothing to be heard...

He grunts. 

Then I try to wake up Bandit and make him cuddle with me.

He wants nothing to do with me.

Neither of them do.

So, I turn on the TV.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is at 2:30.

And then TMZ's gossip show comes on around 3.

Justin groans and tells me that I'm out of control.

And asks me to go in another room.

I refuse.

I do some Facebook stalking for about 30 minutes.

And then try to lay back down, with the glow of the TV helping me spot robbers, rapists, and kidnappers that try to enter my room. Oh, and evil spirits / ghosts, which I also hallucinate. 

Well, last night - someone drove by our house and picked up some old lawn furniture we left out for someone to grab OR the trash man to take away....

I hear the car down slam shut and then hear what sounds like an alien space ship crashing into our driveway aka the person chucked the heavy furniture into the back of the truck.

BANG!

Justin and I both wake up....and we both know, that I'm going to be up for the next hour or so.

So sleep, yeah, I'm not getting much of it these days- which probably adds to my moodiness.

Anyway, the weatherman was hilarious this morning. He made me laugh for about 20 minutes straight because he said, "And it's just what everyone loves to hear...today is a dry hump day!"

But things happen and people say things and then I get annoyed / frustrated.

I told Cayla I was having one of those days where everyone and everything makes you upset.

Eventually, it was time for lunch and I ate my emotions (obviously, you knew that was coming).

Then, I felt the guilt sink in....I told Justin we needed to make a dinner under 400 calories. I made plans to take a walking break later in the afternoon, run 1.5 miles with Bandit, and then hit up the gym for the elliptical.

When I walked back to my desk, I found the most perfect gift.

Two lemons.

And a card.

To you, this just two lemons and a card.
To me, this a day maker.

How did Cayla know I ate my emotions at Panera today?

Everyone needs a safe word.

And wonderful friends.

Much love,
Ashley

Hungry for Change: A Review

Over the weekend, I watched a documentary called "Hungry for Change" - in one word: A-MA-Z-ING!



I was BEYOND inspired. As soon as the credits started rolling, I was already lacing up my shoes and making a mental note of my grocery list. I walked into the kitchen and tossed out junk food...and immediately shook my head at the pizza box on the counter- a reminder that my eating is and always be a battle.

Seriously, this is what I think about naturally skinny people who eat whatever they want:

 

But then I reminded myself that being healthy IS NOT about being skinny.

In fact, I know a lot of skinny people who are more unhealthy than me.

And there is the whole pregnancy thing ....me eating healthy this time around will NOT result in weight loss. It will, however, result in a healthier mom and baby!

The moment I really started paying attention and taking notes (yes, I was literally taking notes like I was preparing for my final exam in college), was when they shared an article saying researchers found more than 200 chemicals (man made aka from what we eat and drink) in an umbilical cord.  

200 chemicals.

Unbelievable.


We fill our bodies with dangerous (and addicting) chemicals every single day. And honestly, these chemicals are in EVERYTHING!

They kept talking about going back to mother nature- eating from the Earth.

And believe it or not, I was actually inspired to start juicing!

The toxins and chemicals in our foods go directly into our bodies...and guess what? Those evil toxins don't let you lose fat cells.

You need to cleanse your body to get rid of the toxins and harmful chemicals.

But the messed up part is....we do this to ourselves. We know what food is bad for us. We know a salad is better than a slice of pizza. We know fresh fruit for breakfast is better than a McDonald's Egg McMuffin.

They said 50% of us are unhappy with the way we look naked. We get out of the shower, look in the mirror, and say such hurtful things to ourselves...sometimes out loud!

"You're worthless."

"Just look at yourself- when did you let yourself go!?!"

"You don't deserve love and happiness."

SUCH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

Would you let someone else talk to you like that? Would you let a complete stranger or your worst enemy get away with saying such negative and rude things?

No...you probably wouldn't....

SO - don't talk to yourself like that!!

You are precise.

Love yourself and shine for who you are today....

And eventually you'll inspire other people to love themselves...and be happy with life.

Love yourself and other people.

Why?

Because love is safety.

And we all need love.

BUT it starts with loving yourself.

I wish I could take credit for the above message about loving yourself...but in reality, this message came from the documentary.

So there I was ...sitting in tears...and repeating the words they demanded that I say twice a day (and you should to):

"I accept myself unconditionally for who I am right now."

Seriously.

Say it.

Now.

Out loud.

I don't care if your at Starbucks, work, the gym, or watching TV- repeat the above quote.

Repeat this quote for 30 days - twice a day. Wait for the negative messages to pop in, but then quickly defend yourself...from yourself!

I bet by 28 you'll finally start to believe yourself and realize how special you are...

Overall, the documentary said you will improve your life and mind if you ask yourself three questions:

1. Where does my food come from? 
2. What went into my food?
3. What is my intention in doing with the food? (i.e. Am I eating to support my body or just for entertainment?)

I've got my work cut out for me....

But I've been filling up on fruits and veggies most of this week!

And the best part is...I'm not doing this to lose weight!!

This has NOTHING to do with the scale or a number! 

I'm honestly eating well for my HEALTH!

So yeah- I'm going to high-five myself.

But I have a confession.

I broke down already...

I woke up late this morning and stopped by McDonalds for that Egg McMuffin.

I cracked.

So then I turned into Ron Burgundy and said:

But it's one day.

One meal.

It's not the end of the world.

If I can continue to fill my bodies with more "clean" foods - then I'm doing MUCH better than I was before...

So while it was hard to look in the mirror knowing I had an epic failure this morning, I went home and put on my gym clothes.

I looked in the mirror and repeated those famous words: I accept myself unconditionally for who I am right now.

Much love,
Ashley

Just Call Me Chris Farley

Today, I decided to embrace my new body.

I told myself that comfort is more important than a T-shirt size.

And while my pants are still fitting, I'll eventually need some comfortable maternity pants (that are stylish).

Don't worry about sizes.

Stay away from tight clothes.

And don't even think twice about little tinny bikinis.

Just focus on comfort, cuteness, and class.

The three C's to pregnancy fashion.

You know what happened instead?

I turned into Chris Farley.

Me including the dance moves.

Did I rip a dress in the fitting room?

You betcha!

Let's break down this dressing room fiasco...

So, the first outfit I found was SUPER adorable.

I'm bumping out.
I want the world to know.
I'm gonna let it show.

I'm in love with these pants.
Also, no zipper = no pain.
Fantastic-o.

I found a beautiful corral t-shirt as well! The shirt is lose fitting and has a high belt, so it makes my "bump" look cute too!

Next up, I tried on this dress.

Notice my eyeballs glued to my belly!
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?

No need to say which feature looks best in this pic.
Husband approved.

So anyway, this particular dress was in the Juniors section - or maybe Misses. Either way, it was a size XXL.

Yes.

Double.

Extra.

Large.

OBVIOUSLY this would fit me, I assumed.

And it will look SUPER cute with leggings and brown boots that match the belt. I danced around a bit in the fitting room and then thought, "Hmmm this dress a little tight around the arms."

Tight arms = the worst shirt ever. I don't care how cute a shirt or dress is...I will never wear something that makes my arm fat feel like it's being squeezed like a tight sausage or bratwurst.

So I stretched out my arms a little bit and then it happened.

The loudest ripping sound in all of North America.

I KNOW the lady next to me heard "The Rip."

"Shut the front door," I thought. "HOW FLIPPING EMBARRASSING!"

I spun around and the rip was massive.

We're talking like....six or seven inches.

What do I do? 

Should I tell someone? 

Should I just hang the dress back on the rack? 

This is a massive tear...like a small dog or child could fit through this hole. 

What is wrong with me? 

OMG WHAT DO I DO!?

After the period of pure panic was over, I found the situation really hilarious.

No one was at the fitting station when I first walked in.

So I told myself if no one was there when I left, then I would just leave.

I'll leave a post-it note. 

With my number. 

Like it's a car accident. 

Or a secret admirer love note. 

Fine no, I'll just leave the dress on the rack.

But what if the they have video cameras? 

What if they see me again and put up a sign with my picture and only this description: THE  PREGNANT RIPPER.

I walked out of the fitting room and realized no one was around.

But I KNEW I couldn't handle just leaving the dress there in that condition.

Just as I started to walk away, I saw a lady with a red shirt walking toward me.

I saw her walkie talkie.

That's it.

The moment of truth.

I have to fess up.

I have to introduce myself as the one and only Mrs. Chris Farley....

"Um hi!" I said. "Sorry, but do you work here?"

(Obvious question - she was probably thinking, "Ummm yeah- what gave it away!? My red shirt, my name tag, or my walkie talkie?").

"Yes," she said.

"Well, um," I started. "I just have to tell you something...and this is SUPER embarrassing, but I just can't live with myself if I don't tell the truth."

She starred at me like I was about to tell her a story from Jerry Springer or confess to a crime. Well, fashion crime maybe...

"You see, I'm pregnant," I said. "And I am experimenting with different sizes...and...well...I...well I ripped this dress!!!!"

She grabbed the dress from my hand and I continued, "I promise I'll buy it. I feel so bad."

"No," she said. "It's fine."

She was trying not to laugh and I think she was starting to feel uncomfortable with my awkwardness and rambling.

"I mean really," I said. "I'll buy it! I can even put like a back patch or something..."

BACK PATCH!? 

WHAT THE HECK? 

WHO SAYS THAT! 

You don't even know how to sew, Ashley!

"No really, it's fine," the lady said walking away as I continued talking.

"Well okay thanks-I mean, this has to happen all the time, right?" I asked desperately. "Like, I'm surely not the only person this ever happened to!?"

She kept a straight face and shook her head 'NO' - then she added, "I mean, I'm new here, but I've never seen this..."

WELL THAT IS BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CONFESSES! 

I bet other people just put the dress back up like nothing ever happened...and then innocent people buy the dress and go home and then realize they have a rip the size oft the Nile river down their back...

"Oh yeah," I said. "Right...totally...so see you later."

Well, today I sure did accomplish my goal. I embraced my ever-growing body and found some comfortable clothes.

But the biggest victory of all was telling the truth and being able to laugh about it moments later -which is a huge improvement from crying about the situation (former self behavior).

Until my next Chris Farley moment, $40 to whoever designs me a cute dress with an awesome back patch.

And go.

Much love,
Ashley

Smiles, Flutters, Breakdowns, and Celebrations

No, I didn't give up blogging for lent.

Sorry if I had you worried.

Life has been flying by (mostly in a good way). On Thursday, I left work early and headed to Decatur for a date night with my sister.

I had a chance to hug and kiss on my nephews and visit with my mom before we left for our big date.

Aunt Ashley kisses don't creep my nephews out yet.

Our date started at FlatTop Grill (basically build your own stir fry = amazing).  We had a lot of laughs and shared a lot of smiles.

And honestly, I needed it more than anything...

My beautiful sister and me before running to the concert!

Then we headed to the Luke Bryan concert! I was so happy and thankful Sarah brought me along (she received the tickets as a Christmas present). She is madly in LOVE with Luke Bryan and after Thursday night, I'm joining the Luke Bryan fan club. I mean seriously- his moves, his smile, and his voice...obsessed.

I was standing up and dancing to one of Luke's songs (I REALLY wish I could remember which one it was, but I was battling hard to stay awake at the same time) when I felt something magical.

I felt Baby Sieb flutter!!!!!

It wasn't like a fart bubble.

And it didn't feel like my stomach was growling from hunger.

The feeling was comparable to butterflies in my stomach (but not like the kind you get when you're nervous).

Baby Butterflies!

At that moment, I confirmed my suspicious that Baby Sieb is a girl.

And she too has a crush on Luke Bryan.

Disclaimer: I'll be happy if we have a baby boy, but I'm just basing my guess off the fact that the baby has a high heart beat and I've had zero morning sickness. When my mom was pregnant with all of the girls, she wasn't that sick. When she got pregnant with my brother, she was sick constantly. AND my sister has two boys and she was really sick when she was pregnant with them!

Gotta Get Down on Friday

I spent Friday morning eating pizza for breakfast with my nephew and telling stories. His imagination and ability to tell stories on the fly amazes me. He will definitely be a writer one day. I have no doubts. And I refuse to let him waste that creative mind!

We had lunch at Pizza Hut. And by "had lunch at Pizza Hut" I mean I dunked absolutely everything I ate in Pizza Hut's ranch dressing ....the best EVER! Can I get an Amen!?

Friday night we had dinner with Justin's high school friend, Jason, who surprised us by paying for dinner (so sweet!). His parents also came along...Rodger (Justin's Dad) and I made plans to do a 5K together!

"Well, I'm going to be 5 months pregnant then," I said. "So I'll probably be really slow!"

"Why do you think I'm budding up with you!?" He replied back laughing.

Fair point. Our goal is to finish in under 45 minutes, which is perfectly reasonable! I'm excited!

Breakdowns and Celebrations

On Saturday afternoon, I had yet another breakdown about my appearance.

I know, I know- I'm pregnant.

I'm growing a baby.

And I just wrote a blog post about how SILLY I am to stress about weight when I am growing a mini me or mini Justin, which is absolutely incredible!

But, it's just hard.

I'm getting back fat.

My hips just keep getting wider.

And I just have a gut.

There isn't a defined, beautiful baby bump yet. Although, I was teased with this "bump in the making" on Saturday morning:

Seriously, it's mainly the shirt + baby bloating that gives the bump illusion.
But any sign of a bump makes me happy.
So I'll take it.

I guess I just always thought my bump would appear earlier...and that everyone could just tell I was pregnant.

Instead, I'm just getting chubby.

And no one knows. 

So anyway, I went to Kohl's and quickly realized I am officially out of my original size. 

The arms are tight in clothes.

I need bigger bras or else I have back fat rolling out like Fifty Cent at Da Club.

I had pretty much given up on finding cute shirts or dresses.

And the mere sight of swimsuits brought tears to my eyes...

Then, before my very eyes, I found a maternity section!! I found an awesome t-shirt (that hides the unflattering parts of my body) and a dress / nightie for myself + a onesie for Baby Sieb.

Double win!

I wondered over to the workout area. And found myself wishing I was training for a half marathon. I tried to run the other day and I officially can't run half a mile without stopping + nearly having a heart attack. I've lost my running mojo....

Justin creeped up behind me and tried to goose me (aka grab my butt). However, it didn't work because I have a Justin-dar and quickly turned around to see him creeping toward me.

He instantly knew something was wrong.

"Baby, what's going on?" Justin asked.

"I'm just so discouraged," I said. "Nothing fits. And I'm getting so fat!"

"Nooooo!" Justin said back quickly. "We don't use that word, remember! You're getting cute."
 
He wrapped his arms around me. I was still facing away from him.

"Babe, this is just the beginning," Justin said. "You're going to be a lot cuter soon. I mean REALLY cute."

Despite my frustrations and emotions, I realized I'm super lucky to have such a loving and supportive husband.

My history with my weight and eating disorders is the source of my emotions right now. And I need to remind myself that I wanted this pregnancy more than anything.

I want to be a mom.

I want to be a healthy mom.

And acting, thinking, and feeling so hopeless about my weight is not healthy.

So, I'm a work in progress.

Everyone is, right?

My breakdown quickly escaped my mind after we attended a gender reveal party for one of Justin's close friends from high school.

They didn't know what they were having until the firework show (when everyone else found out as well).

It's a girl!
Congrats Mandee and John!

 I had a blast (and yes, I obviously want to have a gender reveal party now).

Justin isn't so convinced about having the party / not finding out on the spot!

"Ashley, we give each over our Christmas gifts at like...Thanksgiving! Do you really think we will wait and not find out until everyone else does?" He challenged me.

"YES- I think we can wait!" I replied back confidently. "Heck, we've waited long enough as is.."

"Well fine, let's just not find out until birth then," He said back, with a snarky tone. "I can do that."

"Get real, Sieb" I said.

Seriously, how perfect is this idea!?

Wear your guess!

 So, the debate for the gender reveal party continues.

In the meantime, take the gender poll on my blog + email (harass) Justin about all of your brilliant ideas for our gender reveal party! ;)

Much love,
Ashley

Fatter vs. Cuter

I was walking out of the office yesterday and said goodbye to my friend Jami.

"Well, maybe on Monday I'll be fatter!" I said patting my stomach.

"It's not fatter, Ashley," Jami said.

"Cuter?" I suggested instead.

"Yes!" Jami said. "You'll be even more radiant than you already are today..."

She made me smile.

You guys know I'm terrified about gaining a ton of weight with this pregnancy.

EVERYONE has that number on the scale that just terrifies them.

Disclaimer: This is a stock photo . I am not this pregnant yet.

And beyond a number, I just want to remain healthy and fit during my pregnancy so that I can be the mom I've always wanted to be...active, fun, and ready to tackle 5ks together with my little nugget.

When I went in for my first consultation in November (not pregnant at the same), I weighed 239 lbs.

On January 7, I had my first doctor's appointment. I was five weeks at the time and weighed 236 lbs.

I went back for my 8 week check-up and I was still 236 lbs!

I've been trying to get out of the mindset that "I am eating for two!"

That's a very dangerous outlook....

I know that I only need about 300 extra calories a day. So I'm sitting around 1,600 calories a day.

I'm trying to pick healthy snack options like Special K cereal, popcorn, or fresh fruit. Let's be real - sometimes the cookies and cheese dip win. BUT not always, which is good.

Last week, my boss came down to my desk and said this out of no where, "Ashley, you're pregnant. I don't want you to see you stressing about gaining weight..."

I'm thankful that he took the time to remind me that I will gain weight. And that's normal...

On that note, I can't tell you how AMAZING it is to have a supportive work family. Makes a huge difference...

Anyway, I've decided I need to stop using the word "fat." 

I'm cutting the word out of my vocabulary.

And I'll replace it with the word "cute."

But I am still determined to remain as healthy and active as possible throughout this pregnancy, especially once I get my energy back!!

This is also NOT me.
Number one, I don't live by a beach.
Number two, I plan to run in pants / tights.
Number three, I will wear shirt that will avoid a boob or two flopping out.

So ladies and gents, bring on the baby weight...

In moderation, of course.

Much love,
Ashley

Ashley's 30 Day Boot Camp

I've gained back all of my weight. Are you sick of me telling you that yet? I know, I'm sick of writing it too. It's complicated. I'm in a horrible relationship. And I'm sure you know about it...maybe you have a similar problem.

The root of my problem is my relationship with food.  I just don't know my limits. I have a hard time with portion control. And I want to eat during every single emotion I ever feel.

You're right, this is not me...mainly because this would be a plate of cheese instead of a plate of donuts.
But the message remains the same: I have a food addiction.

I ask you guys to be there for me.

To support me.

To encourage me to make wise decisions.

To talk me about of the large pizza with extra pepperoni.

To sway me from the bacon cheeseburger.

To convince me that sour cream, ranch dressing, and cheese do not make everything better.

But I have a hard time listening. Or I become a closet eater, which means I shovel food in my face when no one is looking.

And to be honest with you, I'm completely terrified of getting pregnant and reaching 300 lbs.

300 lbs.

That means I'd be beyond qualified for The Biggest Loser.

Today I weighed about 232 lbs.

Not my highest (241).

And far from my lowest (199).

I'm sure it's a combination of bloating + holiday weight gain + vacation snacks and drinks + holiday drinking.  But today, I realized my problem.

I try to give up everything all at once. 

No cheese. No mayo. No bacon. No burgers. No fried food. No ranch dressing.

I completely wipe it out of my diet for a week or so.

Kick major butt.

Drop the lbs quickly.

Then, I fall off the wagon.

I add a strip of bacon on my egg sandwich.

I ask for cheese on my burrito bowl at Qdoba.

And then the wagon runs me over.  Then the wagon backs up and runs over me again. The next thing you know, I'm back where I started writing a blog like this or this.

Promising you that next time will be different.

Explaining that this time I have the answer.

Saying that my attitude is different.

Informing you that I'm inspired for change.

And then you read something like this or the blog post today.

You are quickly reminded that I'm human.  And I make mistakes. But I make the mistakes often and have a hard time learning from them.

So, I've put together a 30 Day challenge...inspired by my friend Ann Semon's blog.

I'm not trying to eliminate every single horrible food from my diet. And I'm not making an outrageous claim to workout every single day twice. Instead, I've developed a plan. For the next 30 days, I'll do the following in my version of a Boot Camp.

• Avoid alcohol. No exceptions.
• Do cardio 3-4 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time.
• Do strength training twice a week for at least 20 minutes each time.
• Do 150 abs every single day (sets of 25 each method).
• Do 15 push-ups each day.
• No mayo. This sneaky condiment can easily add 100-300 calories to your sandwich depending on how much gets piled on!
• No fried food. No exceptions.
• Eat fruit for breakfast 4-5 days a week.
• I'm allowed 3 cheat meals a week. The cheat meal can include anything except booze, mayo, or fried food.

If I cheat or miss a workout, I have to do 30 burpees. 

Don't know what burpees are? Click here to watch this video. Basically, they suck and make me want to vomit. But breaking rules at Boot Camp has consequences.

So today marks Day 1. I'll document all of my food intake and exercise in MyFitnessPal, which is an app that is available for you to download and use too (free)! My username is ashleysieb.  Sign-up and add me as a friend! 

My 30 Day Boot Camp will end on Sunday, February 3.

By that point, my hope is everything I've done will become a habit. And I can start a new program to inspire new fitness routines. I'm sure there are better exercises or goals I could add. I'm certainly open to your ideas and suggestions for the next 30 days. But for now, this is my plan. And you're welcome to join me. 

I'm not doing this for a resolution (you can read my focus for 2013 here and here). I'm doing this so I can live a long and healthy life with my family. And as one of my best friend's Ashley wrote in her recent blog post, I need to do this for me.

Not a number on the scale.

Or a certain dress size.

Or vacation destintation.

I am doing this for me.

P.S. Bachelor workouts start on Monday. I hope you join me!!  I'll post the workouts on my blog every Monday!

Much love,
Ashley

Christmas Weight

I don't think I should step on the scale for another month.

I think I weigh 300+ lbs.

Goodness, why do I eat my life away at every holiday!?

Meh.

I've got my alarm clock set for 6 am everyday. Vacation or not, my butt is working out every single day.

Much love,
Ashley

How The Paleo Diet Turned Into a Cookie Binder

"Ashley, what ever happened to your Paleo diet?!" - you

Great question...I'm glad you asked.

My failed attempt at eating like a cave man lasted four days (at best).

And as a result, I ended up eating cookies for breakfast the following week. I don't know how "healthy eating for 4 days" turned into a cookie binder, but some things are just unexplainable.

I didn't go into Paleo thinking I would be 100% committed to the diet, but I wanted something to keep me balanced. And I loved that I could find Paleo specific recipes and read Paleo blogs! Or follow Paleo people on Twitter! Basically, I'm a marketers dream ...despite being a marketer myself...

Turns out, Paleo isn't for me.

I felt too much pressure to eat and exercise "by the book."

I like frozen yogurt.

I like sweet potatoes.

I like nuts (I know, I laughed when I wrote this line too).

And I like whole grain & brown rice.

All of these foods are on the "do not eat" list with Paleo.

Now, my short time on Paleo did teach me that I should try to follow my diet 80% of the time. And learn to pick healthier options or eat more balanced meals whenever possible.

I've eaten more fruit in the last month than ever before!! And I'm very focused on portion control!

And you may recall, that I had a true face-off with a cheese ball the other day at my office.

I'm happy to report that I did NOT eat even a single bite of the cheese ball.

Are you proud?? Don't be...

Instead, I ended up eating some cheddar flavored popcorn and grabbing a cookie later in the day!

Butttt I ate healthy the rest of the day...

So, what's my final verdict?

Paleo wasn't a true failure.

Why?! You ate 45 cookies this month. - you (with added dramatic emphasis like me)

Well, I learned a few things about myself and my eating habits.

Most importantly, I learned that one bad snack doesn't mean you should eat bad for an entire day or week.

As long as you stay focused and dedicated the rest of your day (aka eat your veggies and fruits and lean protein + get off your booty & exercise) one small cookie a day will not be a deal breaker.

You got this.

We got this...

Much love,
Ashley

I Want to Be Fat

"Leave me alone!" I screamed from the kitchen.

Justin laughed.

He was picking on me for my moody attitude. Why? Because I'm trying to take control of my diet. Instead of letting my lack of a diet control me.

Here is what I ate today:

Breakfast:
-Smiling So-Cal Omelette (not 100% Paleo approved)

Lunch:
-Mixed fruit (fresh strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and a banana)
-Qdoba Naked Chicken salad (lettuce, chicken, salsa, and guacamole only)

Dinner:
-Vegetable Soup  (no meat, no cheese, no nothing)
-Fruit Snacks

Snacks:
-Coffee
-1 Glass of white wine
-1 spoonful of peanut butter (not Paleo approved)

Total Calories: 1337

"Paleo can get f!$ked!" I said. "I'm not doing this anymore."

Justin laughed harder.

"ASHLEY!" he said. "It's only been ONE day!"

"I don't care!" I said. "I want to be fat."

Justin leaned over and gave me a hug.

I needed that...

Okay fine.

I don't want to be fat.
 
I want to be fit and healthy.

But I've already had my first breakdown.

Paleo is like a blind date.

I heard amazing things about Paleo.

Paleo looked good online.

A few of my friends "hooked up" with Paleo for at least a month.

But when Paleo walked into my life today and sat down on my kitchen table, I wanted to run away.

So here I am, pouting because dieting is hard.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Tonight, I'm going to dream of bricks of cheese and mountains of mayonnaise.

And tomorrow, I'll keep up with my diet.

Because nothing tastes as good as fitness feels.

Much love,
Ashle

Let The Paleo Begin

You guys, I just stepped on the scale at my dad's house and the number made me want to stop eating for a week. Or two. But that's not healthy. That lifestyle is old Ashley. So I need to change. Because I don't want to see this number ever again!

233 lbs.

I pretended to wonder how this could happen, but My Fitness Pal has all the answers.

High fat.

High carbs.

Low fruits.

Low veggies.

Low exercise and strength training!

And let's not get stared on all the food an booze I consumed yesterday, which I did not count up! My iPhone probably would have exploded from trying to calculate all the calories! Eeek!

And unlike the other times, I didn't cry...because I knew the scale wouldn't show me the number I wanted to see!

I'll be honest, though, I didn't expect to see 233 on that bad boy....

On Thanksgiving, Justin's cousin came to visit. I haven't seen her in two years, so when she walked in and her waist was the size of my thumb, I about died.

My Uncle Bob could tell I was upset about something so he smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

"What's wrong my Ash?!" He asked me.

"I mean seriously...just look at Cheryl!" I said, trying to whisper. "She looks incredible. And I just don't know how and why I try so hard and...and look like this..."

"Come on now, Ash! You look good. And you are healthy, right!?" He said.

"We'll yeah," I said. "I am pretty active! I have low cholesterol and my blood pressure is low too..."

"Listen kiddo," Uncle Bob said. "Don't worry about what you don't have...focus on what you do have!"

He was right. As always. I admire his wisdom and insight on life during all of our chats!

"You're right, Uncle B!" I said.

"I am right!" He said.

"No I know you are right!" I said laughing. "I believe you. And I have a lot to be thankful for...and a lot to focus on."

I don't have a thin waist and big boobs. In fact, I'll probably never have either!

But let me tell you want I do have!!

-You (my amazing blog readers, who leave me comments and messages that inspire me beyond words).

-A loving and supportive husband who had agreed to go on the Paleo Diet with me starting Monday!

-The income to support healthy eating and choices! I'm so blessed that I get to choose to eat less...some people can barely get enough to eat!

-An amazing group of friends and family members to motivate and support me on a daily basis!

-Bandit, my favorite little guy and running buddy!

-A gym membership!

-A personal trainer...Dustin, I'm coming bacccckkkk! Are you ready to make me puke again!? Hahah but really...

-Access to other blogs and research for inspiration & ideas!

I'm sure Paleo will be hard. Because let's be real, I'm a food whore and eat my emotions. Happy, sad, stressed, or mad...I am eating. Oh- and you can't eat dairy on Paleo, which means no cheese...so yes, part of me will "die" as I go on this lifestyle change!

But, you guys, I'm sick of living like this...and letting food control my every thought and action.

So, be ready for lots of blog posts about me missing cheese. Look for daily updates about what I am eating. Check back for Paleo recipe ideas. Get pumped for before pictures, during pictures (aka mirror pictures of me looking sweaty and hot from the gym or crying in fetal position near a box of Mac & Cheese), and after pictures (probably more mirror pictures in a fitting room trying on a new cute dress). Hey, at least I know myself!

Oh, and yes- lots of bandit pictures!

I'm so ready to be fit.

And healthy.

And energized.

Thanks in advance for your support and motivation! I'll need you guys....

Much love,

Ashley (a soon-to-be recovering foodaholic)

It's Not The Miles, It's How You Live Them

Watch the video below.

And I DARE YOU not to smile.



Welcome back.

You smiled, didn't you!?

Good.

When I first watched the above video, I was immediately inspired for my race on Saturday (my fifth half marathon in case you've missed me talk about here, here, and here).

It's not the miles themselves that matter during my half marathon...it's how I run them.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I will hit my PR on Saturday.

I'd LOVE to finish in 2:45 or less.

I'd be HAPPY with finishing in under 3 hours.

But above all, I'd be happy if I can look back and say I enjoyed every single minute of my race.

I'll smile at every spectator that catches my eyes.

I'll thank every single volunteer.

I'll laugh and find inspiration in every sign I see on the course.

I'll high five my friends when I see them on the course.

Heck, I'll high five complete strangers.

I'll stretch when I need a break.

I'll take pictures.

I'll live tweet (follow me @AshleySieb) during applicable walking breaks!

And I'll definitely be thinking about how far I've come on my weight loss journey.

November 2011:

238 lbs.
Word that comes to mind: Struggling.
I cried for an hour straight when I saw these pictures last year. Why?
Don't make me say it..

October 2012:

222 lbs.
What that comes to mind: Flying.
I smiled really big when I saw these pictures. Why?
You can tell I am much happier in my own skin.

You know what, I take that back.

I'm pretty positive I'll hit my PR on Saturday.

"Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe." - Mark Victor Hansen

Much love,
Ashley

Don’t Let Bullies Define Your Self-worth: A Short Memoir

The scars of bullying can last a lifetime.

The cruel words seem to never escape our minds.

While I’ve been blessed enough to have some AMAZING, ENCOURAGING, and LOVING family members and friends (like you reading this blog post)…it’s taken many years to let the positive words beat the negative comments and stories. 

And when I saw this video today about a beautiful woman who defends herself when a man called her fat, I felt so inspired to support and spread her words! Go watch this video and then come back to my blog. I'll be waiting...

Thanks for coming back! Isn't Jennifer AMAZING?!

Back to my story...It’s taken many nights crying myself to sleep to realize that people in your life who are worth it won’t make you cry.

Not like that.

They won’t make you cry until you can’t breathe.

Unless, they are gone from your life all together.

Growing up, I was awkward.

Those were the "chubby girl" jeans I rocked all the time!
Thank goodness I had the best sisters around to constantly perk me up.

Plain and simple.

Elementary school - pre major weight gain. Just extremely tall.
I was probably in 4th grade here and I'm almost as tall as the Christmas tree.
And yes, I'm dressed as an Elf in a red trash bag.

My parents and Grandma Kaye will tell you I was the “most beautiful teddy bear brown eyed girl in the world” – but in reality, I was tall, chubby, and loud.

People didn’t understand me.

And many times, I didn’t understand me.

But isn’t that what growing up is all about? Understanding who you are…

Anyway, elementary school was the hardest.

I was so much taller than EVERYONE!

I was constantly teased about my height and weight.

I can’t even tell you how many times in my life another kid called me fat.

Or say things like, “Hope you don’t break the swing set!”

And at other times, they’d ask, “What’s the weather like up there you jolly green giant?”

To this day, I hate wearing green in fear of comments like that…I’m older, wiser, and stronger. But as I said, the scars last a lifetime.

Going into middle school, got slightly more complicated. A few times I would be walking down the street, and older kids would yell out the window at me.

“HEY FAT GIRL- YOU SURE CAN USE THE EXERCISE.”

Oh god. That day.

I’ll never forget that day.

I cried the entire way home from school.

And unfortunately, I had many days like that growing up.

Kids at the pool would make comments about the swimsuit I was wearing.

Or say things like, “I wouldn’t ever date a girl like her, she’s fat!”

It hurt.

Oh, it hurt so bad.

I remember one time in middle school, I forget my lunch money. I only had 50 cents, and a slushie was 50 cents. Now, it wasn’t a nutritious meal, but it was something to hold me over until 3 pm. (And thankfully, I never skipped breakfast).

While walking out of the cafeteria, one of the most popular boys in school yelled out, “Hey Ashley- are you finally on a diet or something?”

The other kids at the table started dying laughing and I walked away fighting back tears.

Eventually, I “peaked” in high school. I lost my extra weight (though, not in a healthy way). But looking in the mirror, I often saw the chubby and tall girl from fifth grade.

I let the words of bullies define my self-worth.

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and blogs weren’t as popular (or available) when I was in elementary, middle school or even high school. So cybering bullying wasn’t a big worry for me…but the in-person bullying was hard enough. I truly can’t imagine all the pain and hurt kids go through today with these outlets available for bullies to hide their faces, yet still say hurtful words to others.

To the children getting bullied, I tell you from experience: you’ll be the one laughing one day.

The kid who asked if I was finally going on a diet? He has been in and out of jail. Meanwhile, I have a college degree and secure job doing what I love.

Office Olympics, anyone?

The kid who called me fat at the city pool? I’m skinner than them today.

And I probably run faster than them too.

The kid who said no one would ever date a fat girl? I’ve married the most amazing, incredible, loving, talented, and handsome man I know!!

And we have a blast together.

Do not let the words of bullies define your self-worth.

My advice for overcoming bullying?

Surround yourself with positive people. I find it impossible to be sad when I’m around certain people. How can you be sad when you’re laughing and smiling until your cheeks hurt? And you may or may not pee your pants from laughing so hard? Those are the people you need in your life. Those are the moments that matter most in life.

Tell someone- anyone- what you’re going through with bullies. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable telling your mom or dad, so tell a friend, cousin, aunt, uncle, teacher, mentor- it doesn’t matter who you pick, as long as they support you and lift you up when you need it the most.

Focus on the “shouts of many.” There are SO MANY people who love you. Who want you to succeed. Who think you are beautiful. Who think you could do anything in this entire world, if only you have the confidence and heart to do so.

Stand up for yourself!! This doesn’t mean being a bully back…because often you’ll find that bullies are saying mean things and starting fights because they are unhappy with who they are…or maybe they don’t have a happy and healthy home life. Instead, tell them straight to their face:

“Your words mean nothing to me.”

“You will not bring me down.”

“I’m better than you say I am.”

Because you ARE better than they say you are. Way better.

And finally, to end this blog post…I want to encourage ALL OF YOU to stand up against bullying.

Be that friend, cousin, aunt, uncle, teacher, mentor, parent who helps someone get through the bullying (which by the way, can happen at any age…from preschoolers to middle schoolers to college students to middle-aged people to retirement homes…bullying is everywhere)!

If you see a kid- who you might not even know- getting picked on, stand up for him or her.

It might just change his life or her life.

Or better yet, save their life.

So, my weight? I still battle with it every single month, week, day, hour. But I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.

And the weather up here? Well, it's a lot brighter now that I'm defining my own self-worth.

Much love,

Ashley

Scale Wars

A reminder for today.

For every single day.

Much love,
Ashley

Gotta Get Down on Friday

How far down?

31.5 lbs down.

Happy Friday.

Much love,

Ashley

You Need a Vacation: Night 2

How I Almost Ruined Our Vacation

I drank enough water before bed to wake up feeling pretty good. We had a free breakfast pass (again, thank you Hilton Honors Gold status), so that was an amazing way to start my day.

Then it was off to the gym, which was surprisingly nice! 

I wasn't in the running mood. Sometimes I feel like I could run for miles and miles, and other days I can't even run for more than 4 minutes. Unfortunately, I was the ladder.

So, I decided to do circuit training. Quick intervals of cardio broken up by sets of abs, squats and arm exercises.

And it wouldn't be a complete workout if I didn't take a picture of myself in the mirror.

But it wasn't long before I did the MOST AWFUL thing ever at the gym.

I WEIGHED MYSELF!

Number one, Aunt Flow is getting ready to visit so I am instantly 5+ lbs heavier!

Number two, I had drank all night.

Number three, I ate all day / night.

Weighing myself was a really bad idea. Did I mention that yet?

And when the scale said 229 lbs, I almost puked. 10 lbs.

Really? How does that even happen?

THANKFULLY Justin later weighed himself to confirm the scale was 5 lbs heavier than our scale at home.

Either way, I was so pissed off to see that number. And it showed when I came back to the room.

"What's wrong you?" Justin asked. He could sense something was wrong.

"I did something stupid," I said.

He was probably thinking I made out with the bell boy (joking) or spent a shit ton of money at the Macy's down the road (not joking, I really wanted to do that).

"I weighed myself," I admitted. I told him the dreadful number that I do not want to repeat outloud.

"Ashley, this happens every single month," Justin said. "You get ready to start your period and then you blow up! Okay that sounded really shitty, but you know what I'm saying. I put my arms around you at The Arch and it was a literally like I was squeezing a swollen uterus. You literally gain 5 to 10 lbs and are bloated for a few days!"

(See ladies, he can be a "guy" sometimes. He is not "cute" all of the time, but I truly appreciate his honesty so much!!)

"You're right," I said, still a little disappointed about the number...

"So you just have to prepare yourself for that and don't give up," Justin said. "Because in a week or so, you'll be back to your regular weight. But you can't freak out. You can't eat like shit and give up and think everything you're doing is worthless. Because you're doing great. Your hitting your goals. Just don't give up."

And with that mini pep talk, we headed off to the zoo. Penguins and elephants were certain to perk me up!

Projectile Penguins


 I was overly excited to see the penguins at the zoo. They are my absolute favorite. Next to the meerkats.

Shy Guy hiding behind the pimp cave (one penguin found a penny and brought it over to another penguin, who was hiding this cave. Thus, the pimp cave was established).

 It was morning time and apparently penguins are not morning folks. One penguin, who we will call Milo, came out of a cave and stretched his flippers in the air. Then he shook us little booty.

Justin pretended to read his mind and said, "Good morningggggg everyone!"

Then we watched as a few other penguins creeped out from the cave.

I was distracted by the booty shaking penguin, when Justin said, "Well hey - look at this little guy! I wonder what he is....OMGGG!"

Just then I looked over and saw a penguin bend over and project green poop all over the pimp cave, which Shy Guy was hiding behind. Like 10 year old boys, we couldn't stop laughing.

The pooping penguin, who we will call Otis, looked over at us and said, "I don't give a damn" and then walked back into his cave.

Otis was never seen again. But we talked about him and his splashing poop attack on Shy Guy once every 30 minutes until Sunday night.

We went on to see other beautiful animals, all of which reminded me of Bandit, and then we went to lunch at Fitz's.

Homemade Root Beer!

The food was pretty good! I settled on a turkey burger (no cheese) and seafood gumbo instead of fries. That was my attempt at eating healthy.

Next up, we went back to the hotel to take a nap and watch cable TV.

No vacation is complete without a mid-afternoon nap.

Sucking Heads off Crawfish

We woke up from the nap, well Justin woke up- I spent the afternoon watching murder mysteries (bad idea, I am still having problems sleeping).

Then we had our free drink from the bar (Red Bull and Vodka to kick off our night) before walking to  Broadway Oyster Bar.

"We are completely boring for doing the same thing two nights in a row," I said.

"No we aren't," Justin said. "If it ain't broken, don't fix it." 

Word. Broadway Oyster Bar is in my top 3 list of favorite restaurants ever!!

We ate oysters ( again) and decided to be brave and order a bucket of steamed crawfish!!

Eating crawfish was a true adventure. I was extremely nervous one of them would still be alive...and when I  reached into the bucket, it would pinch off my finger. Thankfully, that never happened.

The biggest crawdad in the bucket and he was all mine!

Sucking the juice out of the head.
Eating crawfish isn't exactly an attractive event.
I wouldn't do this on a first date.
Okay, you're right - I probably would.

You only live once, so why not eat some bottom dwellers?

After dinner, we went back to the hotel to change. I switched into my Gucci sweater (obviously) and we were off the Cigar Bar again.

Livin' better now, Gucci sweater now!

"I am so lucky to have a sexy wife who smokes cigars and tries to drink Jameson on the rocks," Justin said. "But you don't have to impress me anymore. I'll drink the rest of that if you want to."

I pretended to be hardcore. But I didn't know how to keep the cigar going and quickly traded my Jameson on the rocks for Justin's beer.

We went to another bar to finish watching the basketball game, which resulted in eating hummus and pita bread and calamari, which was drenched in ranch dressing.

I NEVER thought I would see the day when I did not want to eat ranch dressing on something, but let it be known that ranch dressing and squid DO NOT go well together. Don't try this at home kids...

Heading Home

St. Louis was the perfect weekend trip. I loved the buildings (except for The Arch pods!!!), the drinks, the FOOD (obviously), and most importantly the pooping penguin.

Until next time, St. Louis...

 Much love,
Ashley