How Running Changed My Life

I was in fifth grade.

And it was my least favorite day of the year.

I know it was Fall because I remember being told to dress warm.

And I remember complaining that the cool air made it harder to breathe.

But my gym teacher didn't really care if I liked warm or cool weather- we must accomplish the task at hand. It was the infamous "mile day" at school. We had to run around the playground and school four times....but it felt like forty-four times.

I wanted my mom to call me in sick.

No, I actually wanted to break my leg.

Maybe I could trip over a crack in the sidewalk on the way to school.

Or fall off my bike. Yes, that's it!

I'd fall off my bike and then I'd be out of the timed mile.

As I rode my bike to school that day, I remembered the plan I thought of the night before. It's simple. Just crash your bike. You don't have to get hurt THAT bad - you can fake some of your injury.

But alas- I didn't have the balls to wreck my bike. So I peddled along and tried not to cry thinking about my least favorite day of the year - with lice check day being a close second. Seriously- don't act like you didn't fear lice check day too. It's like a random drug search at school - you aren't warned it's going to happen and you secretly worry the person next to your coat (or locker) is going to screw you over. Anyway, lice check day is another blog post...moving along!

It's not that I couldn't run. I was physically capable of running. But I was overweight, which meant that I would be one of the last kids to finish. If not THE last kid to finish.

And I felt that finishing last would be one more thing the kids could use against me when they taunted me about my height and weight.

I hated running.

And I hated mile day at school.

Flash forward 15 years.....

I'm not that insecure, chubby girl that gets teased and picked last for everything. 

Well, chubby - maybe (I mean, I just had a baby!!!) - but my self-esteem is higher than ever before.

Three years ago (as of yesterday actually), I ran my first half marathon.

And the hilarious part? Remember how I told you that I wanted to get out of mile day at school by wrecking my bike? Well, I got in an awful bike accident the week OF my first half marathon! I share the full story of that bike accident in this blog post: Always Wear Your Helmet

But in a nutshell, Justin and I went on an evening bike ride the Monday of race week. I wanted to "take it easy" and not injury myself before the big day. That plan completely back fired and I ended up crashing into a guard rail.

As a result, I had bruised ribs, scraps all over my hands and elbows, and a gigantic bruise on my hip! My bike was ruined - I actually had to push it back to our apartment- two miles away! I am chuckling now as I remember that walk home:

"We walked home in silence, only to the sound of the rhythmic squeal from the wheel. Then a laugh. Then a moan from me. Then another laugh."

Despite that awful bike accident, I decided to run the race: To Run or Not to Run, That is Thy Question  is the blog post that explains why I made the decision to run.

Running toward the finish line!

The best running partners a girl could have for her first race!

Dancing across the finish line. Obviously.

The best cheerleaders!

And once I danced across that finish line, I said goodbye to that insecure fifth grade girl living inside of me. I proved all of those kids wrong who said I was weak or slow or incapable of being a good asset to their team.

I was surrounded by loving and supportive people. I was sore - extremely SORE - but I was inspired. I went home that very day and signed up for my next half marathon.

Since then, I've completed five half marathons, two full marathon relays, and countless 5Ks.

I've achieved new records and personal bests with friends by my side!

And I've ran races where my friends stuck by my side when I've done my personal worst.
Brittany - I adore you and I wouldn't be the runner I am today with you staying my side and encouraging me through every single race! xoxo!

I've raised nearly $700 by running and fundraising for the American Heart Association.

I've ran races in extreme heat!

And bundled up for races in cold months!

I've worn my medal as a fashion statement.

I inspired my mom and brother to run their first race!

I've logged many, many miles with my best friend.

Amd I've made best friends with complete strangers!

And I've met people who inspired me to finish when I wanted to give up.

I've had fabulous race photos.

And hilarious ones too.

I've ran fast.

And walked slow.

I crossed the finish line five months pregnant.
Coop's first race.

But no matter the race - no matter the distance - I always had fun.

 My transformation all started with a single decision.

A single plan to run a race.

At first, I simply wanted to lose weight.

And sure, I lost those extra pounds holding me down -both physically and emotionally. But I gained so much more...

I went from hating running to living for running.

I went from a weak, insecure girl to a strong, confident woman.

I went from having no fitness motivation to living off a half marathon training plan.

Today, I believe in myself.

I run toward new challenges instead of running away.

I have balance in my life.

I have an outlet for managing stress.

I have a way to set and achieve both personal and fitness goals.

I am confident in my strength - both mental and physical.

And I wouldn't be this person without running.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an amazing runner. I've struggled through countless miles. Cried thought lots more. I'm slow. I take walking breaks. And I certainly have room to improve. But that's the fun part - knowing that with each step I take- I am becoming better and stronger!

 I'm so thankful for all of the people, races, friendships, distances, medals, memories, and stories that running has brought into my life.

As a new mother, I'm overly excited to share this passion with my son. I dream of us running races together and living a fit, active life. Maybe I can inspire him to LOVE mile day at school. But I suppose if he hates running - he can at least come cheer me on, right?  He will make a pretty cute spectator.

Much love,
Ashley

Run Like a Mother

Before I went to bed on Friday night, I received a message from my friend Jenna that completely melted my heart + inspired me to no end. She wrote:

"Good Luck tomorrow Ashley....you are such an inspiration and you will do great! You have inspired myself to try and run a couple 5K's myself this summer. Just starting this whole training thing and think about you often as you are always motivating and inspiring others! You are such a great person Ashley!"

I went to bed hopeful, and excited about my race in the morning (despite having an awful sinus infection / chest cold).

I woke up to dog paws tapping the wooden floor.

My alarm clock had been going off for about 15 minutes.

But Willard (my friend's adorable dog) wanted to make sure I woke up on time for our marathon relay. He started barking and then banging his head on the door. Willard didn't want me to oversleep.

I pulled myself out of bed and opened the door. Willard was starring right up at me.

"How are you feeling, lady?" Carla asked me as I walked into the bathroom.

I coughed, sneezed three times, and then blew my nose.

"Better, I think!" I said back.

"I think you're a good liar," Carla said back.

She was right. I felt awful. And I honestly thought about trying to find someone else to run for me. But after the Boston events, I found myself more determined than ever to participate in the race.

I proudly put on my "Running for Two" t-shirt (one of my many layers) and placed on my bib.

"Baby on Board"

We had a late start, but we sill managed to pick up everyone, find a good parking spot, and be at the start line in time for the race to begin.

We found ourselves struggling to keep warm. Carla kept refreshing her iPhone to see if the weather temperature would change.

"30 degrees," Carla said. "Feels like 26 degrees..."

Running in cold weather is a challenge. And running in cold weather with a head cold is even harder.

We took a group picture before parting ways.

Team ROYGBIV!!!
Me, Jami, Robyn, and Carla.

I managed to sneak back up to the start line and watch Jami kick off the relay for us.

I couldn't find her at first, but I saw her toward the middle of the pack.

'YAHHHH JAMI!" I yelled from the sidelines.

She turned over to see me and got a giant smile on her face. I don't think she was expecting anyone to come cheer her on.

I waved goodbye and let out a good "WHOOAA!"

And then I cried.

Why?

Because Jami had a giant smile on her face.

Because I love races.

Because I love runners.

Because I love seeing people be active and care about their fitness.

Because I thought about Jenna's post from the night before. 

And mainly, I cried because I'm pregnant.


Spoiler alert: I cried about 30 times at the race.

After everyone Jami kicked off the race and everyone parted ways, I was left with my group of Leg 4 runners.

I overheard two woman chatting next to me about the many marathons they've done over the years.

The adorable, older Asian lady said, "After Boston, I knew I wanted to do another race. So I bought a ticket to the Indy Mini."

I interrupted, desperate for a conversation, "Have you ever done that race before?"

"Yes, many years ago," she said. "What about you!? Are you doing it this year?"

"Wellll," I started. "I am five months pregnant, so I don't think doing a half marathon is in my cards."

I was surprised at how many other runners turned around to congratulate me on my pregnancy + compliment me for being so active during my pregnancy.

I learned more and more about the runners next to me.

Most of them were FAST. One girl said she was injured, but hoping for a slower pace of 6:30 minutes per mile.

SLOWER PACE!?!?

Try doubling that and then you have my average pace.

Feeling a little intimidated about my future, I text Justin:

"Soooo everyone on my leg is legit runners- like 10+ full marathons! Will you still love me if I am the last one to cross the finish line?"

He replied back:

"Lmao. Hopefully they have all of their pregnant runners starting. So you may start way before them and tie."

I wrote back:

"Hahah in a perfect world!"

And Justin's charm came to the rescue again:

"But yes, I will love you no matter what. Even if you end up on the bus shame (in November. let's hope you don't end up riding the bus within 4 miles."

The bus of shame = the trolly that drives around picking up runners who are going too slow.

I got to my starting point around 9 am, which meant I had about three hours before I would run. I spent the time catching up on supporting text messages from my amazing friends and family, Facebook stalking, trying to predict my finish time, and chatting with the runners around me.

Eventually, I realized the marathon runners were passing by so I stepped outside to cheer them.

This is when I started to cry again.

The courage and strength it takes to complete a full marathon is so inspiring.

I tried to look every single runner in the eyes and say something uplifting to them. I wanted them to know how amazing they are...how strong they looked...I've often heard that hitting mile 22 is the hardest. You feel so close, yet so far away. So I felt I had an obligation to give every runner a boast of inspiration and support to finish strong.

And I found myself getting SO mad at the people / other relay runners standing around not cheering for the marathoners passing by... some of these marathoners were in pain - whether it be physical or emotional-  and the best thing we can provide them is support and inspiration.

I started cheering loudly and recruited the people around me to cheer on the other runners. I wanted to yell at everyone for being jerks and just sitting around on their phones. Some people were standing on the course, which made marathoners have to dodge around them...instead of making a huge scene and screaming- I got tears in my eyes and cheered louder for the inspiring runners ahead of me.

The smiles and "thank yous" I received from the runners made my loud cheers completely worth it!

Eventually, I saw Carla running up to the relay exchange. She looked strong! I was SO proud of her and her amazing pace. In fact, I later learned that everyone had a fantastic pace - PR worthy paces! 

(PR = personal record)

"I had to run an extra mile," Carla said.

"Holy cow," I said back. "I am soooo proud of you girl. You did great."

"Your turn," she said and handed me the baton. "Good luck!!"

I took off running and waved goodbye to the mini cheering section I had created.

About 2 minutes into my run, I hated life.

I wanted to stop.

I questioned why I was even running in the first place.

My legs were tight from standing up and yelling the cold weather, despite my efforts to jog in place and stretch.

My nose was cold and raw from blowing it 100 million times over the past few days.

My chest was heavy, which made breathing hard.

I stopped for a walking interval and a runner passed me.

"Great job," I said. "Keep it up!"

Even though I was walking, which implies to some that I've given up, the marathoner turned and smiled.
 
He was an older man. Probably about 69 years old.

"You too, kiddo!" He said. "Keep it up!"

I promised myself that I would thank encourage every single runner who passed me. And I would thank every single volunteer, spectator, and police officer that I saw on the course.

I did a lot of powering walking and stopped once to use the restroom in a portable potty. At one point, I grabbed my stomach and said, "Coop - you have to get me through...I need you buddy."

Cooper was definitely my running buddy / internal cheerleader. 

I kept doing intervals of power walking and running.  But I did more power walking than running. I was getting frustrated that I didn't see any mile markers. Eventually, I came across another water station. It was down hill so my speed REALLY picked up and I felt awesome. 

Every single volunteer at the water station started cheering and yelling for me.

And I started bawling.

I could barely get the words, "Thank you" out of me.

One man commented on my shirt and I told him that I was five months pregnant that day.

"Wow- that's impressive," he said. "Great job!!!"

I took a walking break to drink my water and two drunk guys sitting in their front yard started yelling, "FINISH THAT WATER GIRL! STOP WALKING AND START RUNNING. YOU ARE ALMOST DONE. CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!"

I couldn't stop laughing and they inspired me to start running again.

I tossed my cup and took off running toward the mile marker sign - the first one I'd seen since I started.

Mile 25. 

I pulled my phone from my sports bra and text Carla my location (you can tell we cheered each other on via text all afternoon):

I love her.

I fought up a hill and a few police officers started cheering me on because I stopped to walk.

"Fight through the pain," he said. "You're almost done."

"I'm five months pregnant," I said. "This is harder than I thought."

He, like so many others, complimented me for running while pregnant. I started crying (obviously), thanked him (like I did all the other police officers), and continued running.

About that time, I saw Jami standing on the right corner.

She saw me coming and started jumping up and down while yelling my name.

When I reached her, she started to run with me, but I had to stop to catch my breath.

Even though I stopped to walk, her positive energy and support was EXACTLY what I needed. I can't explain how thankful and happy I was that Jami spent that last half mile by my side.

We power walked for a few blocks. Jami was a few steps ahead of me to push me to keep fighting through the pain. We chatted about her section of the race, which was her best ever, and that made me very happy. She encouraged me to keep running or walking at whatever pace I needed.

We reached a certain point and I started running again.

"The finish line is up that hill and around the corner," Jami said.

"How far away would you say?" I asked.

"Not too far," Jami said. "But if I was running like you, I would think it's farther than it looks. But it's really close."

We picked up the pace and started to run again.

My body hated me.

I stopped to walk.

"I DON'T WANT TO STOP," I screamed, frustrated with my sick body.

I stopped for about 30 seconds to catch my breathe and we started running around.

"Say something," I said. "Anything."

I just wanted to take my mind off the pain.

"You're almost done," Jami said. 

Just then, I saw a group of people and they started cheering for us. One of the signs said:

Run Like A Mother

As if she was reading my mind, Jami said, "Run like a mother! Hey, you're a mother! You got this, Ash!"

"I am mother," I said.

I could see my relay teammates cheering for me and I had Jami by my side.  I started repeating "I am a mother" in my head and then we took off sprinting toward the finish line.

Running like a mother.

  
I debated long and hard about sharing these pictures of me post-finish line. But heck - you guys have seen the best and worst of me, so here you go...This is what happens when you try sprinting with a head and chest cold:

I am pretty sure I coughed and then peed my pants at this point.
Oh, the joys of running + being sick while pregnant.
You're welcome for the laugh.

Another unattractive finisher photo.

A few minutes later, a volunteer wrapped a medal around my neck. I turned around to see a marathoner who had been walking toward the finish line with a group of family and friends. I think she got injured on the course.

I turned around when I heard everyone cheering.

She crossed the finish line and put her hands in her face. She started crying.

And obviously, I started crying for her.
 
The Carmel Marathon Relay was my best-worst race.

It was the best race because of the random cheerleaders, amazing teammates, and having Cooper with me the entire time.

And it was the worst race from a time perspective. I'm not sure what my finishing time was, but I am sure it was close to an hour.

But, some races aren't meant to be personal bests. And this race, while I was slower than usual, was a very memorable race.

Thank you for all the love and support! I couldn't have finished (or even got to the start line) without the encouraging words and inspiration from each and every single one of you!


Much love,
Ashley

Carmel Marathon Update - Ready to Go!

On Saturday morning, I'll be five months pregnant.

I'll also join three beautiful ladies and hundreds of people running the Carmel Marathon.

We're doing the marathon relay, which you might already know from previous blog posts.

My marathon relay team from October!
Jami, Me, Carla Jo, and Lindsay!

My leg is 4.2 miles. I'll walk some, I'm sure.

But every single step I take, I'll be thinking of Boston.

Here is an update I just got from the race organizer:

Subject line: Carmel Marathon Update- Ready to Go this Saturday! 

QUICK UPDATE: All systems are go for Saturday. You have all trained too hard and long to let those involved with the Boston situation get what they want; us to change our daily lives. We are runners and we will run on Saturday for our personal reasons that got us to this point AND NOW for all of our fellow runners and fans in Boston!

Prior to Boston, our plan included 96 police officers and 75 National Guard service men and womon on course and on the grounds. We have 20+ Ham Radio operators with special security privileges at every water stop with medical personnel.

We hope to have a special pin to wear in support of Boston at the Expo; stay tuneed for more details. Bib number assignments and final instructions will go out today.

We are ready and so are you!  We will see you this weekend to finish your goal!


(END OF EMAIL)

Maybe you can run for 10 miles. Or perhaps you can only run for 10 seconds.

It doesn't matter your pace or distance....

Go run for Boston today.
 

Much love,
Ashley 

Celebrating Courage

This.

I've trained for five half marathons.

Once, just once, I attempted to train for a full marathon.

26.2 miles.

The distance was out of my league, so I dropped down to the half marathon.

I simply wasn't prepared.

And deep down, I didn't have the courage to conquer that distance.

Because at the end of the day...courage is what gets people to the start line.

And courage carries them through the finish line as well.

Today, we learned that courage bonds people together.

And I would argue that instead of focusing on the coward who committed such as a selfless, inhumane act of violence...we should focus on the courage of every single person who went to the Boston Marathon today.

The courageous runners, like my amazing friend Josh Dials.

The supporting spectators, like his lovely wife Meggie Dials.

The amazing volunteers, who filled the entire course. 

And in today's situation, we celebrate the lives lost and people injured in today's blast.

They are who matter.

Remember, it takes courage to run a full marathon. These people train for months and months to run such a prestigious event.

And it takes a coward to kill innocent people, and steal dreams.

I was in tears most of the afternoon.

Reading tweets.

Seeing awful pictures.

Watching videos.

Hearing stories.

I cried.

At my desk.

On my drive home.

And while watching the news on my couch.

My heart and prayers are with those hurting tonight after the Boston Marathon explosion.

As I was trying to come to peace with the situation, I came across this picture that many of my friends shared on Facebook.

A few moments later, I came across a tweet that said runners didn't stop at the finish line...they kept running to the hospital so that they could donate blood.

The helpers.

When I reflected on the videos, I remembered watching people run toward the explosion.

The helpers.


When I saw pictures and videos, I remembered seeing people run back to help the fallen.

The helpers.

So today, I challenge you to pray (or send positive vibes) to those hurting and celebrate the courage of the Boston Marathon runners today.


And not only look for the helpers, but become a helper.


Much love,
Ashley

 

Marathon Relay- I Need Your Help!

In just a few short weeks, I am running / walking my second full marathon relay!

I have the shortest leg (only 4.2 miles), but I'm running last!

I'm sure Carla, Robyn, and Jami will kick butt until it's my turn to do us proud! But I will need some music to pump me up while I wait + inspire me to finish strong!

So, how can you help!?

Send me some song ideas!! I love happy, positive music! The "hard" rap and rock doesn't get me going - it just makes me get mad...and that doesn't make me run happy.

So email me, send a Facebook message, tweet me, or comment on this blog post with your favorite happy or uplifting songs. I also like songs that make me want to dance.

Needing some uplifting running music of your own!? You are in luck - I will share my final playlist closer to race day (April 20).

Much love,
Ashley

T-Shirt Time

I have a marathon (yes a full marathon) relay coming up in April! Thankfully, I am "running" the shortest leg (about 4 miles).

By April time, I expect to have a baby bump going on! My friend Jenny posted a picture of a t-shirt on my Facebook wall and I could not resist ordering it....

The tank top says:
My bump,
My bump,
My lovely baby bump!

Check it out!

I was obviously excited about my purchase and I have every intention of rocking this shirt at my upcoming race!

I told Justin about the shirt and he said, "Wow, that's obnoxious...so I guess it's perfect for you!"

Haters gonna hate ...but this baby mama is pumped to start the race of with my new Tshirt AND "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas as my first song.

Much love,
Ashley

The Day I Became a Runner: Part 2

Just joining us? Click here to read Part 1.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, the point where I "hit the wall."

Mile Six: The Breakdown

My least favorite mile.

Around Mile Six, my heel started to hurt. I could tell it was flaring up, but I didn’t want to stop my cycle of only walking through water stations. I was extremely excited about my performance. I was
slow, but steady. Why does everything suddenly hurt? Everything from my hip down felt numb.

Unfortunately, I let my body win. I took a walking break for about a minute and decided I would do intervals through this next mile.

Mile 7

I reached the half marathon and full marathon split, and I saw someone in a Cowboys hoodie.

Is that Justin?

Who is standing next to him?

I got closer and realized it was my mom.

I got a little closer and saw this sign:

My mom later told me a few runners tipped their hats off to her.
So, I cried again.
You guys, I promise I'm (not) normal.

I started crying.

“OMG! I am so happy you guys came!” I cried. “I can’t believe this!”

I gave them both hugs and saw my mom’s eyes tear up too.

Justin ran around the corner with me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Well, I’ve ran most of the race so far!” I told Justin. “But my heel is killing me. And my buttchecks are numb.”

“You can do it, babe!” Justin said. “Listen to your body, but fight through the pain. You got this.”

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and I kept running, and then I lost it. 

I was bawling as I ran toward Mile 8.

Miles 9-11
Most of these miles are a blur.I did a lot of self-talk. Some positive. Some negative.

I do know- without a doubt- that my right foot was on FIRE.

And I honestly couldn’t tell if it hurt worse to walk or run. 

Around Mile 10, I get to Meridian, which is an extremely long stretch and then a few turns...and then the finish line.

But, I was at  the home stretch.

I only have a 5K left.

I was doing my intervals at this point. And my run was very slow.

I looked down at my watch.

I knew I wasn’t going to hit my goal, which was a pretty depressing moment.

 Just then, it started sleeting.

Yes, this is real life, Ashley.
The only way I could hit a 2:45 finish time is if I ran 10 minute miles the rest of the way…which- let’s be real- that was NOT happening.

At that moment, I got this text message from Justin:

Literally got this text 50 seconds after it started sleeting.

So, you know, I cried.

At Mile 11, more and more full marathoners were passing me. The motivation and determination inside them inspired me. They had gone TWICE as far as me, yet they had more fight.

Dig deep, Ashley.

Don’t give up.

You.Are.So.Close.

Just then, the song Josh Dials picked for me come on. Let’s Go- by Matt and Kim. I pictured him running – more like flying- through his full marathon. I could tell by his determination and spirit early in the morning that he would hit his goal. He was  beaming with happiness and positivity.

And just like a movie, I heard someone yell, “ASHLEY!!!!!! GET THE (insert explicit word here) ON IT!!!!”

Josh ran past me. He really was flying!

I moaned.

“YOU GOT THIS GIRL,” Meggie said as she rode past me on the bike.

I smiled.

And then I started “running” again.

He is going to hit crush his goal.

I only lasted about 3 minutes before I stopped to walk again.

I saw a sign that said: “It sounded like a good idea 4 months ago didn’t it?”

Darn right. I wanted this. I still want this!

Keep fighting, Ashley.

Do.Not.Stop.

One woman looked at me and said, "You got this girl. Right foot, left foot, breathe..."

Just then, I saw the sign for Mile 12. I wanted to take a picture, but my fingers were cold. Freezing actually....Little did I know Mile 12 would be the most important and difficult mile of my life.

The Most Inspirational Mile of Life: Mile 12

“Hey!” I heard someone yell from behind me just seconds after passing Mile 12.

I turned around and saw a guy, who I had been running with nearly the entire race. He was also struggling between walking and running too.

“Listen, I need some inspiration and it looks like you could too,” he said. “Let’s finish this mile together.”

“Oh bless you,” I said. “I don’t know you want to be stuck with me though.”

“No, you fight through,” he said. “We are going to fight through this mile together. No stopping.”

The thought of running for more than one minute seemed impossible.

At this point, we were walking.

“What is your name?” I asked him.

“Josh,” he said. “And yours?”

“Ashley,” I said. “Okay, at this stop light, we will run.”

“Alright, Ashley,” he said. “We’re going to kill this thing.”

I wanted to burst out in tears.

I thought of Justin. And my mom. And the sign they made. My grandpa.

“I’m just in so much pain,” I said. “My foot is numb. Everything hurts!”

“Listen, we got this,” Josh said. Just one mile left.”

We started to run at the stoplight.

“So how many half marathons have you done?” I asked Josh.

My theory was to ask him absolutely anything to keep my mind off the pain.

“I’ve actually done seven this year!” he said.

“What!?” I said. “That’s incredible! What inspired you do so many this year?”

“Well my wife is a marathoner,” he said. “She is actually running the full marathon today. Last year, I was a spectator at one of her marathons. And I realized that runners are the most amazing, courageous, and wonderful people. So I wanted to become one.”

“Wow,” I said. "That's so inspiring!"

But clearly I wasn't inspired enough, because these were the next words out of my mouth:

“I want to stop,” I told him.

“No, don’t stop!” He said. “You got this!”

“No, I don’t!” I said. “Everything hurts!”

“Ashley, think about how amazing it will feel when you cross that finish line knowing you didn’t give up!” Josh said. “You are a fighter. You can do this…we only have a half mile left. Pain does not last forever.”

At this point, I was moaning and groaning Biggest Loser style.

I am only midly embarrassed...because number one, my dramatic cries probably made people laugh. And number two, that's truly how I felt. 

A full marathoner ran flew by us and cheered us on, “Keep it up, guys!”

How incredible? This dude was fighting through 26.2 miles of his own, yet he took the time to inspire us!

Did I mention how much I love runners?

I asked Josh more questions. I learned his favorite color (blue), his least favorite food (goat cheese), and the number one thing he loves about his wife? Her smile.

“Man, her smile.” He said. “It could light up the world.”

My heart melted. He went on to tell me that they have three children, he loves beer, and they live in Broad Ripple.

At one point, I wanted to stop again.

“Just let me stretch,” I said. “I don’t stop to walk. Just a stretch.”

I leaned near the sidewalk, but then I realized it was silly.

You are so darn close!!

Get on it, Ash!

“Ashley, we are so close,” Josh said. “You’re awesome. And I’m awesome. Tell me I am awesome.”

“You are awesome,” I said quietly and full of pain.

"I can’t hear you," Josh said.

“YOU ARE AWESOME!” I yelled.

And he screamed out a loud cheer:“WHOAAA!”

We were both screaming.

And cheering on marathoners that passed us.

And eventually, we started rapping to “Get Low” by Lil Jon.

So yes, I was completey losing my mind.

But at the same time, it felt incredible.

“Finish line,” he said. “Ashley, the finish line is right around that corner.”

“Finish line,” I said quietly.

My body was on fire.

“Finish line,” I said a little louder.

“FINISH LINE!” I screamed.

We turned the corner and I saw the finish line.

“OMG YES! HERE WE ARE!” I shouted.

“WE ARE SO CLOSE!” I yelled again.

“WHOOAA!” Josh yelled.

I let out a few other yells, which got the crowd going and clapping. It was exactly what I needed.

The crowd was cheering and I heard someone yell, “Finish strong! You got this!”

“Let’s go for it, Josh!” I said.

And we took off sprinting toward the finish line. I literally gave it everything I had inside of me to cross that finish line.

On a scale of 1 (being least awesome) to 10 (being most awesome),
I felt like a million.

And at that moment, I became a runner.

Once I crossed, I heard Justin and my mom yelling for me.

Someone handed me a thermal tarp thing.

“Do you want a cookie?” a little girl asked me.

“OMG YES!” I said.

Someone gave me a hat.

A woman wrapped a medal around my neck and said, “Great finish. You should be very proud of yourself!”

Bless her...
 
I ran up to Josh and thanked him for everything. At that moment, I realized he was my guardian angel. My grandpa really was with me on the course all morning.

And he sent me Josh.

We finished in 3:03:54, which is 14 minutes better than my last half marathon!!!

I gave Josh a giant hug.

“You’re the reason I finished that last mile,” Josh said. “I can never thank you enough.”

I will never forget Josh and the final mile we shared. We both fought through the pain, sleet, and self-doubt to run to that finish line.

My Mile 12 warrior.

It’s true.

Runners really are the most amazing, courageous, and wonderful people in the world.

Later that day, I text Josh Dials (must be the name Josh) and said:

"You really are my hero :) - fan-freaking-tastic job today!!!!"

And his reply...well, let's just say it took my runner's high to a whole new level:

"And you are mine!"

All smiles from Team Iasta: Chad, Melissa, Kelly, Me, and Josh Dials.
Congrats to all of you, and everyone else who completed 13.1 or 26.2 yesterday!

Much love,
Ashley

The Day I Became A Runner: Part 1

On Saturday morning, I battled through pain, cold weather, and “the wall” as I finished my fifth half marathon.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t hit my goal time of 2:45. But I don’t think this race was about getting a PR. My race was about proving to myself that I AM a runner.

Most importantly, this race taught me that the heart and determination from a complete stranger can transform your world.

Race Morning

I have nightmares about oversleeping and missing my races. My wake-up call was at 5 am. I wanted enough time to stretch, eat a good breakfast, drink my coffee, and take pictures with Bandit. You know- just a normal day.

But at 5:50 am, I woke up in a frantic! Did I hit snooze on my alarm clock? Was I in such a deep sleep that I missed my alarm clock going off? I reached for my phone and checked my alarm clock.

5 PM. I set my alarm clock for 5PM instead of 5 AM.

No wonder I always have nightmares…I know myself too well.

But thankfully, I still had 50 minutes to get ready before Chad picked me up.

I brewed my morning coffee.

Pumpkin spice on race morning?
Check please.

I ate my pre-race breakfast (toast and peanut butter + a banana). Oh, and yes this time around I had to take my antibiotic to cure my staph infection. Because – you know- I have the best luck ever.

Notice the warning label on the antibiotics warns about diarrhea.
Twice. So, yes I was afraid I might be that person with running farts.
Or worse.

 
And I took a pre-race before picture alone. Bandit decided it was too early to get out of bed.

7312. My new lucky number.

Chad picked me up around 6:45 am (and thankfully so because I get super stressed out about driving and parking alone). Usually on race morning, I am nervous wreck. I don’t spend a lot time chatting on race morning– because I am PRAYING I survive the morning ahead of me. Instead, Chad and I talked about our expectations, goals, and plans for the morning. We found a great parking spot and started walking to the start line.

Here we go!!!
PS I didn't want to leave the warm car, but at least I was bundled up!

He was shooting for a big goal at (or slightly under) two hours, so we definitely weren’t starting together. But thankfully, we ran into a group of our friends at the start line.

Two of my favorites.

Team Iasta.
I have the best coworkers in the world.

The Start

I walked to my corral (the area where you start your race, which is based on your pace). I looked for the sign that said 12-13 minute miles.

My goal pace.

The air was cold, but I was bundled up. I overdressed knowing that I would be throwing off my jacket, gloves, and hat. Volunteers collect the clothes and donate them to shelters across the city.
I looked around trying to recognize a familiar face, but I didn't find one...I was alone.

Just me.

My headphones.

And my heart.

I turned to the guy next to me.

“Is this your first race?” I asked him, desperate to calm my nerves by making conversation with a complete stranger.

“Actually, it’s my second,” he said. “My first half marathon was the Indy Mini in May.”

“That’s awesome!” I said. “I can’t believe how hot and humid that race was…I bet you love this weather.”

“Yeah, it was really hot,” he said. “I had trained through the winter months, so I wasn’t prepared for that kind of heat. I saw people dropping left and right.”

“Scary stuff,” I said. “Do you have a goal for today?”

He looked over with a big smile and said, “I don’t care what my pace is, I just want to run the whole thing.”

I admired his goal. It’s something I’ve never done. At that moment, he inspired me to focus on running instead of intervals. The gun went off and the race started. We started walking forward (it took us 8 minutes until we crossed the start line). Just before we separated, I asked for his name.

“Rob, it’s nice to meet you!” I said. “My name is Ashley.”

Before he took off, I yelled at him.

He turned around.

“Rob- I know you’re going to hit your goal today,” I said. “Good luck!”

I turned on my iPod, played “Hats Off to Larry,” and drifted away to memories of my grandpa.

Miles 1-5

Okay Ashley, don’t look at your watch.

Run slow, but don’t stop to walk.

See how far you can go without stopping.

I knew I didn’t train to run the entire thing, but I wanted to challenge myself.

I wanted to prove to myself that I AM a runner.

I felt great as I rolled past Mile 1 in 11 minutes.

Boom.

You got this, Ash.

As I was approaching Mile 2, I ran into Carla – my running buddy! I stayed with her for about a mile and we chatted about life, the city, and the beautiful weather.

“Girl, this is your race,” she said. “I am going to take a quick walking break- but you go ahead.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. I felt bad not staying with her. I ran my last half marathon alone, and I know having someone by your side makes a huge difference.

“Yes!” Carla said. “I’m positive. Get running. I’ll be chasing after you!”

She makes my heart happy.

I put on my headphones, and started running again. For the next three miles, I only stopped to walk during water station breaks.

I started to tear up. I was so proud of myself for staying strong. I let my music help my mind wander away and tried to focus on anything, except for running.

Just think, you're only running a mile or two at a time.

Then you get a break.

And water.

Just then, I heard someone yell my name from a car. It was Sabrina, one of my previous running buddies. Last year, I ran this race with her by my side. I was happy I got the chance to see her.

“Sabrina! I’ve only been walking through water stations!”

I am 99% sure she didn’t hear me, but she gave me a thumbs up anyway.

At mile five, I came up to a water station full of high schoolers. I heard them shooting and cheering for people as they ran past, so I wanted to give them something to shout about.

“WHOAA!” I yelled as I ran through them.

I lifted my arms in the air and everyone started screaming.

My body filled with happiness.

I felt like I was flying.

Someone handed me water, another person gave me a high-five, and I overheard a girl say, “She was awesome!”

"Move It Like Bernie" came on and I smiled all the way through the next mile...

Are you sucked in yet? Don't worry, Part 2 is coming soon!

Much love,
Ashley

Tears of Joy

I cried while driving into work this morning.

Not the uncontrollable, ugly cry.

Even beautiful people have "ugly cry" faces.

I just had a few tears fall down my face.

Tears of joy, as I call them.

I pictured myself at the start line tomorrow morning.

Listening to the song, "Hats Off to Larry" - the song my Grandpa requested we play at his funeral. The song was a suggestion by my mom, and I knew instantly I wanted to start the race to his song.

Tomorrow, I'll walk up to the start line more prepared than EVER before.

Sure I missed a few long runs.

And I missed even more short runs during the week.

But I feel confident.

I feel strong.

I've done a great good job training this time around. 

Previous races, I was lucky to get one or two 6 milers under my belt.

MAYBE I would do a 10 miler.

These past few weeks have been UBBER emotional. I can't explain right now, but I will one day soon. Hang tight...

But thankfully, I'll be surrounded with friends, fellow runners. volunteers, and spectators that inspire me.

Tomorrow when I walk up to the start line, I'm not letting my stresses, worries, emotions, or fears win.

I started out this journey dreaming of a full marathon, but I knew I wasn't ready to climb that mountain. Not yet. I've had my doubts along the way...like most runners do. But I am bringing my strength, confidence, and courage with me to the start line. And thanks to advice from Meggie Dials, I'm going to master my race photos tomorrow too!

"It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness."
--Seneca

And one more quote...just because it made me smile and you guys KNOW I love quotes.

"Some people don't have the guts for distance racing. The polite term for them is sprinters." 

Much love,
Ashley

Success Tastes Salty

Usually the night before a race, I am a wreck.

I am worried sick and over-analyzing every mile.

I panic over my pace...worried the struggle bus will pick me up!

But on Friday night, I was the complete opposite. I was relaxed (well as relaxed as I'm capable of feeling) and most importantly, I was excited. I even went Happy Hour for a few drinks right after work, which was a blast. The laughs were much needed after a long week.

When I got home, I quickly packed my bags for a sleepover with the girls. Carla made an incredible dinner: two kids of pasta, bruschetta, salad, and pumpkin cheesecake.

Carb Heaven.

And unlike any other race before, I spent the night before drinking wine and laughing with my new and old friends.

My sign: Success tastes salty, not sweet.

And Carla surprised all of the girls with hats, gloves, and socks!

Carla and I stayed up late watching "Raising Helen" and talking about our boys, work, family, health, children, Joe Biden's smile, friendship, knitting, and the race- not necessarily in that order. I also learned that Carla has done 14 half marathons, how awesome is she!?

Anyway, we decided our marathon relay was 100% about having fun and cheering on our girls. I said I wasn't out for a personal best, even though I secretly wanted to hit my goal pace and finish around an hour. Our team name was ROY G BIV. And we all decided to dress like a color in the rainbow (obviously).

Race Morning

Despite having a "stress free night", I woke up race morning anxious. I was in full blown "Ashley Stress Out" mode, which means:

• I couldn't find my cell phone. Thankfully I wasn't driving or I would have lost my keys too.
• I misplaced my safety pins for my bib number.
• I forgot to charge my iPod the night before.
  
•  I realized I didn't bring my comfortable running underwear (stay tuned for more info on that one).

Carla, knowing me better than I know myself sometimes, was perfect at calming me down. She helped me find my phone, get my safety pins, wait while I charged my iPod, and well- I left the underwear concern to myself.

Before the race! ROY G BIV girls!

Here We Go

The relay had four legs:

Leg 1: 5 miles (Me- purple)

Leg 2: 7.5 miles (Lindsay- pink)

Leg 3: 6.55 miles (Carla- green)

Leg 4: 7.15 miles (Jami- yellow / neon)

Walking to the start line, I was flooded with emotions. My running journey has been incredible, and this race is where it all started two years ago. I had two great friends by my side as I completed 13.1 miles for the first time in my life. And on Saturday, I had 3 more friends by my side as we tackled 26.2 miles together.

Carla walking with me to my corral!

Before I entered my corral, we all put our hands together and did a loud cheer together. Our chant was the perfect way to say goodbye before I kicked off the race. And then I was alone- stuck inside my own head.

When should I start my music? I asked myself.

Should I start it now? Well, what if I miss people cheering for me before I cross the start line and it looks like I am blowing people off.

Okay, I'll start when I cross the start line. But what if I am too focused on trying to start my music and I trip over the rugs? Then I'll get trampled all over and die.

 Just start it now.

No, no- just wait until you are a quarter mile in!

Just then, I heard the girls yell my name. I turned back and waved to them. A few seconds later, I heard my name again.

Am I hearing voices inside my head?

No, sure enough I did hear my name again and my friend Kiersten came running up to me. She was running her first half marathon! She looked incredible! I heard she ended up killing her first half marathon and finished strong. I'm so proud of her...and honored that she said I was an inspiration to her during her first half marathon journey.

"I saw someone dancing and I knew it was you." - Kiersten, as she came running up to me

We parted ways and I was alone again.

It was just me, the adorable old lady next to me, and my iPod- which I still didn't know when I should start playing it. Despite my anxious mind, I took a few minutes to soak in my surroundings. I looked around at the beautiful leaves changing colors, happy faces, dancing old ladies, and families cheering on their loved ones in the race.

Beautiful Fall morning.

Leg One

One minute into my run and I was miserable. Why?
Well, my shirt was riding up my stomach, so I had to keep adjusting it.

And remember how I forgot my comfortable running underwear? Well, the pair I had decide to ride down my butt  and were slowly rolling into a thong. Honestly, I've never been so uncomfortable. Ever.

I was getting hot, so I wanted to ditch my gloves and hat immediately. As I was doing so, I ripped my earphones out and one of them broke.

You can't be serious right now...

Just then, I ran into a friend from high school - Ashlee. We chatted for a few minutes and then I couldn't handle my situation for another second.

"I'm so sorry, Ash," I said. "But I have to pull off the course to get my life together."

I hopped onto the sidewalk and then:

• Ripped off my hat and gloves.
• Pulled down my shirt and prayed it would stop riding up (or I would stop noticing it).
• Attemped to fix my earphones. 
• And most importantly, adjusted my underwear.

Finally, I was ready to run again, so I jacked up my iPod...and my pace!

Running with music was awesome. I put my iPod on shuffle and tried my best not to watch the clock. And I purposely didn't turn on my Run Keeper app.

Around mile two, I seriously considered going into the bathroom and just ripping off my underwear. Hulk Hogan style.

But, I didn't want the clock against me so I kept running.

I maintained a pretty consistent pace, despite a few walking breaks and hills.

Around mile 4, I ran into Carla and her boyfriend, Alec. When Carla saw me, she started screaming loudly. Her loud cheers were the PERFECT pick me up. She started jumping up and down like she was at a Backstreet Boys concert and said, "You are doing AMAZING."

She jumped in to run with me and said, "Look at how fast you're going. And look at your little booty, you look incredible!"

She slapped my butt, wished me luck, and ran back to Alec.

I didn't know how much longer I had, so I looked at my watch and decided I would take a 30 second walking break - just to stretch out my legs and fix my underwear (obviously).

Five seconds later, I ran into Jami (my other teammate).

"YEAHHHHH ASHLEY!" Jami yelled.

I ran over to her and gave her a high five.

"You're so close, Ash! Just right up the road and you're there- finish strong."

So much for that walking break. 

I laughed and then kicked it into high gear.

The mile 5 sign kept getting closer and closer...and I could see that I was minutes away from an hour! I was going to hit my secret goal!

The moment I saw Lindsay, I sprinted up to her. I was pleasantly surprised with the strength I still had inside me. I felt like I could have kept running- yet another good sign my upcoming half marathon will go well.

Lindsay and I switched the ankle tracker, exchanged encouraging words, and then she was off to tackle the longest leg of our course.

Nailed it.

I finished around 1:05, which included the time it took to transfer the ankle tracker to Lindsay. Either way, the official race pace put me at 13 minute miles. My last half marathon pace was exactly 14:28 minute miles...needless to say, I was ecstatic!!! 

Becoming a Cheerleader

The rest of the day, I was a cheerleader.

I cheered my teammates- who ROCKED their legs. I even got the chance to run with Lindsay during the final minutes of her leg. She was FLYING, so I was surprised I could keep up. I was so insanely proud with how all of the girls did. I think everyone walked away from their leg feeling accomplished and pleased with their pace. 

I cheered for friends I spotted on the course (Cindy, Emily, Meghan, and Amy, to name a few).

And, I cheered for complete strangers.

A few times, I got so emotional just watching the expression on people's face as they approached the finish line. And by "a few times," I mean I cried at least 10 times.

I loved watching the expression on people's face change when you told them something encouraging. You could tell when your shouts gave them that extra burst of confidence to finish strong.

Some people were happy.

Most people were in pain.

A handful of people were crying - probably both from happiness and pain.

The End To Be Continued

Jami had a strong ending for the ROY G BIV girls. I toyed with the idea of jumping in with her to cross the finish line together, but honestly she was FLYING and I didn't know if I could keep up with her. My heel was hurting and my muscles were tight.

"Jami, you're amazing!" I shouted. "Great finish!!!"

Medals and smiles.

Together, we completed the marathon in 5:02.

And we immediately started making plans for next year.

Thank you so much to everyone who cheered us on - your tweets, Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls meant the world to me. And most importantly, I couldn't have done this race without such amazing, strong, and inspiring women by my side.

Less than two weeks and I'll tackle my fifth half marathon. Our marathon relay was a huge confidence boaster. And don't worry- I'll buy new headphones and wear my comfortable underwear. Some things you just learn the hard way...

Much love,
Ashley