Celebrating Little Moments

"Oh Coop, please go back to bed," I begged him as I rocked the bassinet. "Please let mommy sleep in. Just 30 more minutes."

Just as I was about to pull myself out of bed, Justin said he would get up with Cooper.

"Just let me brush my teeth and get dressed for work," Justin said. "I'll get him!" 

Instead of 30 minutes, I got an extra TWO HOURS of sleep. I woke up feeling so refreshed! So during Coop's morning nap, I decided to see if I could finally fit into some pre-baby clothes.

To my surprise, my Banana Republic shirt fit! The shirt was a little tight, but at least I can breathe / don't have a giant muffin top!

Pre-baby clothes for the win!

When I got downstairs, I noticed that Justin had made (Starbucks) coffee for me. Even better? He left out a coffee cup for me. My favorite coffee up.

My grandpa always leaves my grandma's coffee cup out for her.
Every morning.
And today, Justin did that for me.

Life is full of little moments that are easy to dismiss or overlook. And as a new mom, I find myself appreciating even MORE small moments.

Taking a hot shower.

Getting extra hour of sleep.

Eating dinner at the same time as my husband - instead of taking shifts eating so one of us can hold or feed Coop.

Watching "The Voice" after dinner.
Coop and I both have a crush on Kat.

Enjoying a trip to the gym.

Walking Bandit on a perfect Fall evening.

Snuggling with a happy baby.

Best smile.

Painting my nails.

Calling an old friend to catch up on life.

Emailing a dear friend that moved away for a life update.

Getting the kitchen table organized (yes, all of our clutter ends up on our kitchen table).

Having time to put away the socks in the infamous sock basket .

Dancing across the living room with my babes.

Don't be too busy.

Too negative.

Too stressed.

Too scared.

Or too upset to enjoy life's little moments.

This morning, I made an honest effort to appreciate every extra minute of sleep.

I gave myself a high-five when I fit into that Banana Republic shirt.

And I sent Justin a text message thanking him for leaving out my favorite coffee cup for the day.

As I push forward with today, I'm reminded that I'm so blessed to get time with Cooper at home. Some moms are already back to work at this point. Even though I'm incredibly sad my leave is already half-way over, I feel so lucky to get another 5.5 weeks with Coop!!

My beautiful baby boy.

What little moment(s) will you celebrate today? 

Much love,
Ashley

Putting Everything Into Perspective

I've 100% surpassed nesting and entered into an extreme new phase of organizing and arranging (and re-arranging) everything. I am even finding ways to re-arrange the bathroom and living room.

My next organizing victim will be the kitchen....who wants to come help me? Or save Justin before he goes insane from all of my questions and ideas.

I went to Target today to pick up some much needed storage totes and organizing elements for the bathroom. As I was in a panic about which shower caddy to get, I noticed a young girl walk by.

She was with her mother and two siblings.

She let out a giant laugh, so I was instantly drawn to her smile and positive spirit.

I loved her adorable purple outfit (my favorite color). I noticed she was losing her hair.

A lot of her hair. I couldn't help but wonder if she had cancer.

Was she going through chemo? What disease was she battling at such a young age?

And then I thought about the email I received from my friend Meggie Dials.

We were emailing back and forth about a recent recipient for The Sussy Project. I told her how thankful I am for being a part of this project that connects me with such amazing and inspiring people - who have such happy hearts and positive outlooks, despite their often unfortunate circumstances.

She told me that being a part of this project gives her so much perspective on life. Yesterday a woman died before Meggie had the sussy her (a sussy is a gift for no reason - check more more here: http://thesussyproject.com/).

I stopped my cart at the store and took a moment to just put everything into perspective. Everything will be fine. Cooper is coming into this world with or without the perfect towel rack. The only thing that matters is having a healthy, happy baby and making it out of the whole birth experience as a healthy mommy too.

It's easy for us to get caught up in never-ending list of tasks.

Run to the store.

Make dinner.

Buy this gift.

Send an email (or 5).

Clean this room. 

Organize that room.

Mow the lawn (never on my list, thankfully or it would look like alien crop circles in our backyard).

Visit this person.

Exercise.

Complete this project at work.

Pay this bill.

And then pay another bill.

Write all those thank you cards.

It's a little overwhelming.

And when you look at everything in a list like that, you can find yourself feeling discouraged and dissatisfied about your life. So much to do, so "little time."

But is that really the case?

Do you really need to do everything today?

I bet those dishes will still be waiting for you tomorrow if you can't do them today.

The grass can't REALLY grow that much more overnight, can it?

That email you need to send can probably wait until the morning.

Put everything into perspective and try to focus on what really matters today. Right now. 

I started this blog post last night, but when I got home - I didn't finish it.

And even though I purchased all sorts of organizing racks and totes,  I didn't finish organizing Cooper's room.

I simply cooked dinner, snuggled with Bandit, and decided to tackle ONE thing on my list that evening: write my thank you cards.

And when Justin came home from golfing last night, I was laying in my nightie and I had already showered by 8 pm.

He asked what I did that evening, I said, "Nothing really. And it was awesome."

Instead of checking my email at every stop light and stop sign on the way to work this morning, I kept my phone in my purse. I took time to watch the children running toward the school bus. I noticed a young boy, who was anxiously looking up at the sky while waiting on the bus.

What was he thinking?

What was he dreaming about?

What was he hoping for?

And then I thought of Cooper. I pictured him years from now - waiting for the school bus. What would be thinking? What would he be dreaming? What would he be hoping for?

If I can learn to put things into perspective - not try to over analyze and over plan every second of my life - I'll be around to ask him to answer those questions. And instead of being distracted by my never-ending list of tasks, I'll open up my ears and heart to listen to each word that comes out of his mouth.

So here is to learning how to put everything into perspective.

Finding more balance and peace in my life.

And slowing down.

I'll bet the little girl with cancer and the woman who recently passed away would encourage me to do the same.

Much love,
Ashley

The Dates You Remember

Some dates you'll never forget.

You know exactly what you wore.

What you said.

How you felt.

Who was there.

And eventually, you realize how that date- that moment- changed your life.

As I was driving to work, I was reminded of a date that defined so much of who I am. And unfortunately, this date put a wedge in my trust and relationship with Justin for years.

Justin was the perfect boyfriend- he really was!

He loved me...a love that I only thought existed in movies.

I could be myself (aka a complete werido).

Justin made me feel beautiful and special no matter what I was wearing or how much make-up I had (or didn't have) on.

In fact, he preferred me without much make-up on.

A natural beauty, he'd say.

He loved me no matter the number on the scale or size of pants.

He made me laugh. He made me feel safe.

And yet, I didn't trust him.

He'd never given me a reason not to trust him.

This was seven years ago.  

And a few months earlier, someone gave me a reason not to trust...anyone.

It was March in 2006.

I had just gotten back from Spring Break a few weeks before...my boyfriend was acting strange - pushing me away. He said we needed a night apart, but his voice was odd.

His text messages were short.

And he didn't IM me when I got on AOL messenger (don't act like you didn't wait for that one person to IM you first). 


I agreed that we should spend the evening apart. I went off to play beer pong with some friends...I was playing with a guy I just met. I couldn't tell you his name today if you gave me a million dollars. But I do know...that he tried to kiss me...and I pushed away. But I felt guilty.

Did my frustrations with my boyfriend get the best of me? 

Was I being overly flirty? 

Or was this guy just a creep?

I felt the party with my best friends at my side- Toni, Travis, and Luke. We marched over to my boyfriend's house. I knew something was wrong...and I wanted to fix it.

Who knew moments later I'd be the one needing fixed?

I reached his front steps and the lights were off, but I could see the TV was on.

Without knocking, I opened his door....slowly- careful not to wake him if he was sleeping.

I shouldn't have been so careful...

I opened the door and the street lights brightened up the room.

There he was...

With another girl...

He was on top of her...they were kissing...and I'll spare you the other details.

Those next few minutes were a blur. I didn't yell at home...or punch him. You always think about what you'll do in moments like that, but I was so shocked.

So hurt.

I walked into the other room- covered my face with my hands and the tears started pouring down.

I needed to get out there....and fast.

"I can't believe you, (insert said boyfriend's name)," I said.

I walked outside and fell to the ground.

My friends were waiting outside.

He wasted no time jumping up and locking the door.

Toni saw my reaction and jumped back to the door. She started banging on it and screaming at him...calling him names...names that he so rightfully desired!

And my little Toni Bug- still my best friend...and I know that no matter the situation - she would still bang down someone's door to defend me.

And then carry me home like she did that night.

I will always love and adore her...

For some reason, I was reminded of this day while driving to work this morning.

One of those moments that shaped my life.

That next day, I vowed that no man will ever determine my happiness.

I declared that I'm in charge of my feelings and emotions.

I was stubborn and broken at the same time.

I put up a wall.

On August, 19, 2006 I met Justin. And from that date on, he worked soooo darn hard to get inside my mind to figure me out. And break down that wall.

I'm so thankful that he never gave up on me.

In fact, I'd often thank him for letting me deal with my emotions in my own way (and time) without running away.

"I'll never give up on you, Baby," he would say back every single time.

You see, I remembered the timeframe of the March incident this morning while driving to work.

I don't remember the exact date.

Or time.

Or what I was wearing.

But I'll never forget the date that Justin and I met.

I was wearing a teal shirt with Silver jeans.

My hair was down and blonde from the summer sun.

He was wearing khaki shorts with a black Ball State t-shirt.

And I'll never forget the date that he asked me to be his girlfriend, August 22.

Justin was in khaki shorts and a red T-shirt.

 I was in workout clothes - leaving the gym.

"So, do you want me make this thing official or what?" He asked.

"YES!" I said, overly excited. "Wait, does this mean I can make it Facebook official too?"

As clique as it sounds, everything in life happens for a reason.

I could have spent my life dwelling on that ONE moment, with that ONE awful boyfriend...but instead, I decided to take a leap of faith with ONE amazing man.

So don't hold onto the wrong dates.

Let go.

Remember the dates that bring positive memories....

The dates that flood your body with happiness. 

Days like this...

Nervous bride smile!

Sealing my promise with a kiss.

And then shoving cake up his nose.

All happy marriages are filled with fabulous dance moves.

And don't forget...

Wedding hangover.

 

Much love,
Ashley

Life Lessons Inspired by Pregnancy

I’m barely three months into my pregnancy, but I’ve already learned so much about myself and my body.

On My Time

Time is the most valuable gift you have in this world. Yet, many of us fail to realize the beauty and importance of our time.

Pregnancy has taught me to invest my time and energy on what really matters in life. I’ve always known that my time is precise.

But when I was a busy two-something living in a “big city” – trying to advance my career AND find time to give back to the community – well, let’s just say I let important people and moments slip away from me.

I missed dinners with my husband.

I never made it to my brother’s baseball games.

I found myself turning into that person that was “always late,” which is NOT like me at all.

And all last year, I found myself struggling to keep my head above water.

I was working late, scheduling meetings after work and on weekends, training for half marathons and still trying to manage a social life.

This year, my time is spent differently. I focus on getting home on-time so that I can enjoy a walk with Bandit.

I walk into the door give Justin a giant hug and kiss instead of complaining about my day.

And I do my best to catch up with friends and family via phone calls, emails, or even text messages (when I’m not sleeping, of course).

This year, I’ll make it to my brother’s baseball games. I’ll enjoy every dinner that Justin and I share together before our little one arrives. And I'll be on time.

On Relaxing

As you can tell, I was the queen-bee of stress. Justin always joked that his wife was out “saving the world” every night.

But when you don’t make time yourself, you’re yourself.

Having a “me day” - doesn’t make you a selfish person- it makes you a smart person.

Pregnancy has made me EXTREMELY tired. In fact, the last three months, I’ve spent more relaxing evenings in with my family than when I was an awkward middle schooler who had dates with Domino’s and SNICK (Saturday Night Nickeloden – what’s up 90s!).

I’m so happy that pregnancy has shown me how to relax again.

And not feel guilty about saying “no” and spending days and nights cuddled up on the couch watching Pretty Little Liars and Breaking Bad from Netflix.

On Bad Days

Hey- it happens.

We all have bad days.

Or moments that frustrate us.

Or people who say something that is hurtful or makes you want to scream!

But lately, I find myself realizing those bad days, frustrating moments, and rude people don’t matter at all.

I know, I know- they never mattered, but I used to dwell on every single word someone said. And I would spend hours over-analyzing every single situation.

I would just sit down and re-play the comments or situation – over and over again- sometimes changing around what I’d do differently.

But now, when I’m bummed or needing some motivation, I simply look at our ultrasound pictures of Baby Sieb dancing in the womb.

We’re surrounded by people who love us- and people who are cheering us on every step of the way. So why let one day, moment, or person crush all of that for me?

Lately, I’ve found it easier to push out the negative in my life and focus on the positive.

Family is what matters.

Love is what matters.

Growing a little tiny human being in my stomach is what matters.

On My Body

Pregnancy has taught me that your body is ever-changing. And amazing. Seriously- I’m growing a baby.

With arms.

And legs.

And toenails.

And this week, Baby Sieb can even wiggle his or her ears!

Not to mention, I’m pretty sure Baby Sieb busted out the Harlem Shake during our ultrasound last week.

I’m so amazed by my body and the ability to grow a baby.

What a miracle.

It makes me feel silly for worrying about every little fault I have with my body.

On Patience

The biggest life lesson I’ve learned throughout our journey with pregnancy is patience.

We went through many ups and downs when we were trying to get pregnant. At times, I was so impatient it would break me down. But finally- when I calmed down and had patience, we got pregnant!

I needed patience when we first find out we were pregnant.

How could I keep this a secret for eight long weeks?

How could I wait two weeks after only seeing a “healthy” sac in our first ultrasound? Is there a baby in there?

How long will my cysts keep growing? Will they shrink? When will I find out if there is OK or if I need surgery?

Patience.

Having patience is what got me through those weeks of uncertainty (and keeping my mouth shut for the most part).

I have another month before we can hear little Nemo’s heart beat again.

I have to wait two more months before we discover the gender of Baby Sieb.

But more importantly, I have to wait six more months to find out if our baby is healthy.

And when Baby Sieb arrives, I’ll need patience when he or she is crying bloody murder or refusing to sleep.

I’ll need patience when I’m sleep deprived and just want a clean shower or good run- the baby will always come first.

I’ll need patience when Bandit is barking, the baby is crying, my phone is ringing, and the oven is going off.

The many tests with patience are ahead of me.

But you know what?

The smiles, kisses, hugs, stories, memories, laughs, and even tears that a child brings will make it all worth it in the end.

Much love,

Ashley

What is Life All About?

Earlier this week, I got an email from a lovely 16-year-old girl that I’ve never met. She sent me the most heart-warming email I’ve ever received. I found myself both smiling and crying at the same time.

Without giving away her name or personal information, this is what she wrote to me:

So, I just stumbled upon your blog from pinterest.  Someone had pinned a link to your post "A Letter To My 17-Year-Old Self: All Caterpillars Turn Into Butterflies," and I felt the need to thank you.

I'm turning 17 in just a couple of weeks, and honestly, life is hard.  Life is so hard that I often feel as if it isn't worth working on anymore.

I just finished reading your article...and I still think life is hard. Haha.  I suppose it always will be.  But you inspired me.

Everyone tells me I have so much ahead of me, but never tells me what, never tells me why.  I guess there's not enough honesty in the world… And I know your post wasn't written for me, but it meant a lot to me.

I don't know what my point was in writing this to you, or if I will even send this, but I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you.  Thank you for the tips, because I need them now and I'm going to need them.

I immediately responded to her email…and since then, we’ve become pen pals of sorts. And I love it. I look forward to hearing about her day, sharing life stories, and even offering advice (without trying to come off as a parent).

How can I show her what’s ahead of her in life? Well, I'm not God and certainly not a fortune teller, so predicting the future isn't my strong area.

Back to the drawing board....

How can I describe really matters in life?

What is life all about?
I decided that I spend the next few days trying to figure out what life is honestly all about.
I told myself I wouldn’t let the little things bother me.

I wouldn’t yell at the idiots on the road. I get that from my husband.

I wouldn’t get upset if someone sent me a snarky email or silly request at work.

I wouldn’t dwell on fading friendships or lost relationships. They are in the past for reason.

I wouldn’t stress about traffic or the weather (i.e. things that are completely out of my control).

I hoped that discovering what life is about would be easy. That everything would just magically pop up, as if it was holding a sign, and say “LOOK AT ME! I AM IMPORTANT TO LIFE!”

But everything I discovered, well- it wasn’t easy. It required some self-reflection to understand and appreciate. Which is why I think it’s so hard for so many people to be thankful and appreciate for life.

Or even understand what life is all about.

Life doesn’t just poke us in the stomach and say, “This is important. You care about this. You should listen closely. Don’t take advantage of this opportunity.”

Although, life can really slap us across the face for a wake-up call with troubling or upsetting news when we least expect it.

Over the past few days, little moments have occurred. Sometimes even so tiny that they almost passed me by. And that’s how I discovered what life is all about. And in wake of those “slap you across the face” life moments, I hope you analyze these areas of your life.

To paint a picture that illustrates a bigger focus and puts a perspective for why you are here.

And trust me, it’s not finishing PowerPoint presentation for work or school or sending that final email before you call it a day.

Self-Reflection: It only makes sense to start the blog with this discovery. In order to live a happy and fulfilled life, you must dig within yourself. You must analyze your own happenings, thoughts, and daily activities. What made today great? What upset you today? How can you keep being great or fix what’s upsetting you?

Without self-reflection, you will merely stay as you are today. 

And we all have room to grow. Every single one of us.

Friendship: I’ve always considered my friends, my family that I’ve picked for myself. Lately, I’ve received the most encouraging, uplifting, and motivating messages and calls from my friends. Each of the messages came when I needed them the most and I realized that friendship- true friendship matters in life. Friends will come and go…and over the last year I’ve seen a few really close relationships slowly fade or disappear into thin air. Instead of trying to figure out why, how, or when it all started…I’ve decided to focus on what I do have in my life…which is beautiful and amazing friends who send cards for no reason and schedule dinner dates just to catch-up on life.

Don’t waste your energy on people who don’t realize the value you bring to a relationship.

You…me…us…we are better than that!

Face-to-Face Conversation: Text messages, blog posts, tweets, Facebook messages, and emails are ruining one of the most important concepts in life: face-to-face communication. I’m so guilty of not making time for more to have conversations in person. Without distraction. Last night, I had dinner with two of my friends and it was lovely. We barely checked our phones. Instead, we spent the evening laughing, sharing memories from the past, and even making plans for more dinner dates.  Last Saturday, I spent the evening with some of my best friends playing Catch Phrase. And tonight, we have dinner plans and games planned with even more friends. So, friendships and face-to-face conversations are taking the lead for what matters in life.

Pick up the phone and make plans.

Let’s catch up.

Paying it Forward: The year was 2009. I logged into my bank account. Total savings = $0.00. Total checking = $0.38. I had just made a payment on my wedding dress, paid rent, bought groceries, and filled up my tank so I could drive to work.

I closed my eyes and prayed, “Lord, I promise if you get me through this…I’ll pay it forward to those in need one day when I have the extra money. I promise that I’ll give any extra amount that I can. But help me get through this tough time…”

I had zero credit card debt (thankfully dad taught me well on avoiding credit card debt) and I managed to pay for my tuition for the semester using a 50% reimbursement I got through my job for getting good grades. I would have loved to use that money to schedule a trip studying abroad or plan a fabulous spring break trip, but money was tight. And I knew what I needed to do.

Flash forward to today; I’ve never broken my promise. I always strive to pay it forward. I’ve been donating monthly to organizations that touch my heart via My Year of Random Acts of Kindness. I stop to give homeless people gift cards for food. I support my friends in their fundraising efforts for organizations that impact their lives. And every single time a cashier asks me if I want to make a donation for ANY cause, I say yes.

A few days ago, my mom posted this status:

My daughter Ashley Marie Sieb has been so amazing & inspiring to this MamaT....that I am proud to say I saw a woman holding a sign today saying "Homeless with Kids...." so i pulled over & gave her all the cash in my pocket. The feeling I felt when she thanked me with tears welling in her eyes was wonderful & made my heart so very happy. Thanks Ashley for teaching your MamaT to be a better person!!!! ;-)

Paying it forward in life matters.

Family Bonds: I’ve always heard that you take everything out on the people you love the most. Not only do I believe that is true, but I also believe that usually means your family suffers from your attitude or mood swings. But family bonds and relationships are so invaluable. They are the people who will stand by your side no matter what. They are the ones that know your secrets or bad habits, and still love you anyway. And whether good or bad, they’ve shaped you into the person you’ve become today.

NO family is normal. EVERY family has problems.

And that’s just part of the package. But don’t understatement the power of family bonds. They get you through the “slap you in the face” moments.

Enduring Love: Just like family bonds and friendship, enduring love is a key ingredient to happiness in life. Justin, while super stubborn and difficult at times, is the love of my life. And he puts up with me when I am also stubborn and difficult and needy and high maintenance at times. Enduring love means you can hate someone and love them at the same time. Enduring love means that no matter what temptations come your way, you will remain faithful.

Enduring love means that you can hold hands and face the same direction as you walk into the ugliest storm.

I’m so blessed and thankful that I have enduring love in my marriage.

Failing: I’ve found that failing is extremely important in life. Without failure, how can you appreciate success? Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t like failing and I have a hard time accepting failure (strongly tied to my perfectionist ways). But failing teaches you important life lessons. Failing teaches how you can improve and do better next time.

Failing sets you up for greatness.

And personally, I’ve found that failure can motivate people- as long as you pick yourself back up and keep trying. Failing in life is important.

Health: Lately, I’ve been reminded that good health touches so many aspects of YOUR life and those around you. Do everything in your power to remain healthy. Don’t exercise to lose weight. Exercise to live a longer and healthier life. Don’t just eat healthy food so you can fit into a bridesmaid dress or bikini this summer.

Eat foods packed with powerful nutrients that give you energy to tackle anything that comes your way.

Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands!! Yes, I sound like your mother, but your health is important to living a happy and satisfying life.

And over the past few days, these thoughts popped into my mind….

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity gets you nowhere.

Having a positive work environment is critical to your happiness. After all, you spend 40 hours a week at work- you shouldn’t be unhappy and resentful all of those hours…

Say thank you any and every chance you get...

If you someone looks nice or if you notice they've lost a few lbs, let me them know! A compliment can go such a long way.

Few projects or emails can't wait until Monday morning.

If you're afraid of something - absolutely anything- try to overcome that fear soon. A life full of fear is not worth living. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up camping in the wilderness for aliens this summer.

Stop over-analyzing every single word someone says to you.

Don't worry about the unknown or things that haven't yet occuured.

Your mind is your biggest enemy. Learn how to defeat yourself when needed. 

Say NO! Seriously. Do it. Saying "No" is perfectly fine and does not make you a bad person.

Yes, you used to be skinner. Stop trying to be your "high school" weight.

Going to bed at 7:45 pm is perfectly normal and acceptable. Rest up, my friend.

So, the biggest lesson I learned while writing this blog post is that I might joke about retail therapy or that my life depends on Starbucks. But when times are tough, really tough- I can’t reach for my pair of boots or run to Starbucks to feel balanced and happy again. I dig deep for some soul searching. I call my friends and family to request some personal time. I lean on Justin. I try to make someone else smile or find happiness. Or I go to the gym to de-stress.

So, I’ll hardly ever say this- but stop reading this blog post and go focus on one of these areas in life that you need to work on.

Go on.

I’ll be waiting for you to come back.

I promise.

Go.

Much love,
Ashley

Busting Out of My Comfort Creature Shell: The Year of New

I’m declaring 2013 the Year of New. Previously, I’ve spent the last day of the year thinking of aspects of my life (mainly body) I’d like to change. 

Run 2011 miles.

Lose 30 lbs.

Run a full marathon.

I never fully achieved the above goals...

I ran about 800 miles in one year.

I lost 40 lbs, but gained nearly all my weight back after a few stressful months.

And I dropped down to a half marathon after I quickly realized my body wasn’t ready for a full marathon.

But this year, I plan on doing something different. And by doing new activities and eating new foods, maybe I'll end up losing that weight and keeping it off. Because I'll be happier, healthier, and less stressed.

Overall, I want to become a better-rounded person. It’s very easy to get caught up on aspects of your life that are familiar. For example, do any of these sentences ring a bell?

• You order the same sandwich for lunch at the same restaurant each week.
• You watch the same movies over and over again.
• You read books from only the same author.
• You bring the same wine (Sangria or Moscato) or make the same an appetizer to every function (Buffalo Chicken Dip).

All of those sound like me…You see, I’m becoming a bit of a comfort creature. 

This is a real comfort creature.
Google told me so.

But in 2013- I want to eat new meals, watch new movies, read new books, and explore recipes beyond buffalo chicken dip.

I want to experience newness each month.

Each day.

I’m still creating my “list of new” but here is what I’ve developed so far:

• Cook dinner one night per week (a new habit for me).
• Learn new workout programs such as yoga, cycling, and swimming.
• Try a different wine and beer each month.
• Eat dinner somewhere new once a month.
• Watch at least one film from another country.
• Read four books about another culture or country.
• Order one new piece of jewelry from another country.
• Try a different coffee drink each month.
• Listen to a new music artist each week.
• Buy one piece of new artwork for our house this year.
• Shoot a new gun. You’re welcome, Justin.
• Buy a new pair of boots each month. Just kidding, Justin…or am I? Muh ahahahaha (Dr. Evil laugh).
• Travel to four new cities. And do something fun at each new destination!
• Run 5-6 new (organized) races this year. 
• Donate to a new charity each month (part of my Year of Random Acts of Kindness).

I’d love to get your ideas for something new for me in 2013! Share your ideas below, comment on Facebook, or tweet me back with inspiration for the Year of New!

I’m so excited to see what 2013 brings for you and I.

Maybe you’ll join me? 

This is what I look like right now.
Extreme bedhead.

So I better skedaddle and get moving...

Because I desperately need a shower.

And a new hair do.

Much love,
Ashley

A Year of Random Acts of Kindness: Week 1

For my birthday, I wanted do something special.

Instead, I ended up drinking too much Busch Light and gourmet jello shots.

Let's recap my day...

Bandit giving goodluck kisses during beer pong.
We won 8 games in a row.
And I never want to drink Busch Light again.

Thankfully, The Husband was in a good mood because the Cowboys WON!

Celebration cigar.

I ate buffalo chicken dip, despite my lactose allergy. (And yes, I paid for it).

Team Cheese.

And most importantly, I had a blast with some of my close friends and family!

Loves.

BUT despite my fun-filled day, I did come up with an exciting idea for my 26th year of life!

I thought about riding my bike 26 miles, but my body quickly ruled that out. I will spare the details about why, but if you’re dying to know…just message me. Instead, I opted for a short run with Bandit...the day was simply too beautiful to pass up!

Fall is perfect.

I wanted to decorate for Christmas, but knew I’d have some push back from Justin. So instead, I just went to CVS (yes, the drug store) and picked up some adorable (and affordable) Christmas decorations for our mantel. We will finish the house next weekend!

The most wonderful time of the year!
PS I am obesssseedddd with our new fireplace!

Then, I thought about doing 26 random acts of kindness on my birthday.

I came up with this list:
1.    Donate clothes to Goodwill
2.    Mail letters to friends just to say how much they mean to me / I love them
3.    Buy someone’s Starbucks
4.    Leave a gift card in a book at Barnes & Noble
5.    Bake cookies for the neighbors
6.    Write an appreciation letter to an old teacher
7.    Drop off food and treats for animals at a shelter
8.    Drop off tennis balls at the bark park
9.    Give strangers a compliment
10.    Hold a door open for people and wait for them
11.    Let people merge in front of me and smile
12.    Take water to runners on the Monon Trail
13.    Leave a gas card at the pump station
14.    Leave a GREAT tip for a birthday lunch or breakfast
15.    Tape popcorn to a redbox machine
16.    Leave money in a vending machine
17.    Buy craft beer to support our local brewers
18.    Sign up for a 5K that benefits a charity I am passionate about
19.    Make my husband breakfast in bed
20.    Call my grandma just to chat
21.    Drop off coloring box and crayons to a hospital
22.    Plant a tree
23.    Bake a treat for local policemen
24.    Bake a treat for local firefighters
25.    Donate $26 dollars to a charity that means a lot to me
26.    Donate to a local food pantry

I did a lot of research and read many blog posts about random acts of kindness. I loved all of the ideas, but I was struggling with how to balance all of these acts in one single day.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could do something like this every single week?

A whole YEAR of being kind and compassionate, often to complete strangers…it seemed much more powerful and inspirational to make this journey last longer than a single day.

I’ll use my list above as a starting point…and will also donate $26 each month to a different charity. My first donation went to Indy Fire & Rescue to help the victims from the explosion in Greenwood, Indiana. My heart hurt after hearing such tragic news…

My first random act of kindness this week involved me raiding my closet and giving away some nice clothes.

Okay, if you have only worn something once or twice this year…it’s GONE!

I gave up some really nice pieces of clothing, but I simply wasn’t wearing them enough! And it seemed foolish to let the clothes keep collecting dust when someone out there could really use new shirts, dresses, and pants.

Each week, I’ll blog about my random act of kindness. And I would absolutely LOVE it if you guys submitted ideas, charities, and events for me to consider this year.

“I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.”
― Neil Gaiman

Always be kind.

Much love,
Ashley

Secrets of Adulthood

My stress level has been at record highs in September and October. I can't even tell you how excited I am that my life is finally "slowing down."

In order to cope with my stress and the chaos I call life, I started reading a book called, "The Happiness Project."

I am only a few chapters in, but I've already determined next month I am creating my own Happiness Project.

And what's my focus for the first month?

Relaxation.

Finally, right?

Three items on my list for next month include:

• Start Yoga
• Spend (at least) one day surrounded by nature
• Leave my computer at work unless I have a major project due

I'll have my entire Happiness Project mapped out soon. In the meantime, I'm creating a list my list of adulthood secrets to consider throughout my project, which is something the author also created in her Happiness Project.

Here is my current list of adulthood secrets:

The real way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you take in. Weight loss simply comes down basic math.

Speak your mind- most people aren't mind readers.

Hangovers get worse with age. In an attempt to avoid feeling like death the next day, drink one glass of water for every alcoholic beverage you consume.I promise it works!

You can't change other people, but you can change your attitudes and perceptions of those people.

Stand for something or you will fall for everything.

You can say "NO" - the world will go on.

Mistakes happen. Own up to your errors and learn from them.

Most everyone has an agenda. What's yours?

People are in your past for a reason.

Be on time. Better yet, be early.

Don't talk bad about people.You can never take back the words you say aloud...

Karma- it's real and always comes back your way. Good or bad karma, well - that is up to you!

Always send a handwritten thank you note after a job interview.

Hold the door open for everyone. You never know who will open up a door for you in the future.

Bacon makes everything better. Everything.

Don't talk about religion or politics while drinking.

Black really does make you look thinner.

Always tip your servers 20 percent (or more if they were awesome) - they only get paid $2.13 an hour!!

Strive to always to see similarities in people instead of fighting over differences. 

Few women can pull off red lipstick.

You will work with someone you don't get along with...but you will become a better and stronger person as a result.

Don't harass the DJ at wedding receptions.

Be kind to everyone...you never know what sort of battles they are facing.

Time is the best gift you can give or accept.

If you don't like something, change it. Don't complain.

Runners high is a real emotion-feeling.

Perception is reality.

Giving is more rewarding than receiving.

Ask questions until you fully understand your project, purpose, and mission.

Failure will teach you more lessons than winning. It's perfectly normal and acceptable to fail.

The rainy days help you appreciate the sunny days.

Taking a deep breath and counting to 10 really does work!

Don't worry about things that haven't yet happened.

You're only one person. You physically can't be everywhere for everyone all of the time.

Your parents are right 97.5 percent of the time.

You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to accomplishing.

Go to bed early so you can wake up early- every minute of your life is a gift.

Much love,
Ashley

Don't Be Afraid to Fail

My friend Megan emailed me last night. My heart filled with happiness knowing that she took the time to think of me...and wanted to make me feel better. In fact, the response from everyone yesterday was so amazing and overwhelming....

I can't even tell you how many times I've read each of these comments.
I'm so blessed to call each and every one of you a friend.
xoxo.

Here is what Megan said in her email:

Hi Ashley,

This is what is on our fridge and I need to read it all the time...

Don't Be Afraid to Fail

You’ve failed many times, although you may not remember.

You fell down the first time you tried to walk.

You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim, didn’t you?

Did you hit the ball the first time you swung a bat?

Heavy hitters, the ones who hit the most home runs, also strike out a lot.

R.H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on.

English novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.

Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times, but he also hit 714 home runs.

Don’t worry about failure.

Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

I cried - because that's what I do best with people inspire and motivate me. And then I thanked her for the kind email, which came at the most perfect timing.

Worrying about failure is a huge fault of mine. Even though it took years to see it and even more years to admit it, I'm a perfectionist.  I like need everything not just accurate and correct on the first try- but PERFECT on the first try.

But life isn't always perfect....

I am not always perfect...

And failing is simply part of life.

Because failure teaches you lessons. 

Failure helps you appreciate the journey, not just the destination.

Failing at something makes you stronger and wiser.

And as I think about my blog post yesterday, running a half marathon instead of a full marathon is not a failure. Not even close. But next time when I start to train for a full marathon, I won't be afraid of failing. And most importantly:

I won't let failure win.  

And this message doesn't just apply to running my half marathon in November. It applies to everything. And probably something you're experiencing right now too...Work, school, health, marriage, friendships, financials, goals, dreams - whatever you're going through...just think of this blog post. 

Don't worry about failure.  

Don't worry about anything.

Just believe in yourself, focus on the journey, and give it everything you have to come out on top!

Much love,
Ashley