Today marks the first day...of my first training program....for my first full marathon.
Before making the 26.2 commitment, I knew that training would be absolutely critical to the success and survival of my first full marathon.
I'll have busy days.
I'll have bad days.
I'll have long days.
I'll have painful days.
I'll have emotional days.
I'll have dreadful days.
But I still have to run.
Surprisingly, today was one of "those days" - and the last thing on Earth I wanted to do was run.
Munching on snack food and going to bed early sounded PERFECT tonight.
But instead, I threw on my workout clothes and headed to the gym. My training program called for 3 miles. Pulling into the gym, I thought..."I'll just do a mile. I'm too tired to do all 3, so I'll just make up for it later in the week."
I jumped on the treadmill, turned on Law and Order (as if I need another fear to add to my list) and quickly changed my mind.
"You're doing all 3 of these miles even if you crawl on this damn treadmill," I said to myself.
I closed my eyes, prayed for strength and just started running.
I was slow and steady.
And I took walking breaks.
But it's what I needed to get through after "one of those days."
A few times, I lost my mental strength and said, "Okay, you've done good enough. Just stop after the next quarter mile."
But my body refused to listen to my mind.
I did 3.01 miles, just to prove I'm an overachiever.
If I can keep this attitude...
If I can continue to lift myself off the couch during the most challenging moments...
And if I can keep fighting when my body wants to stop...then I have no doubts my first full marathon will be an enjoyable experience.
And for those of you who are interested, click here to read my full marathon training program by Hal Higdon. What do I love most about this program? Everything.
Within the first few sentences, I am reminded:
"You can't get to the finish line if you never make it to the start line."
And he offers the below advice, which I LOVE:
Long Runs: The key to the program is the long run on weekends, which builds from 6 miles in Week 1 to 20 miles in the climactic Week 15.
Walking Breaks: Some grizzled veterans offended by the
Jeff Galloway walkers grumble that the marathon was meant to be run, not
walked. Don't listen to them! Walking is a perfectly acceptable
strategy in trying to finish a marathon. It works during training runs
too. While some coaches recommend walking 1 minute out of every 10, or
walking 30 seconds then running 30 seconds before walking again, I
suggest that runners walk when they come to an aid station....Walking gives your body a chance to rest, and you'll be able to continue
running more comfortably.
It's best to walk when you want to, not when
your (fatigued) body forces you too.
Cross Training: The best cross-training exercises are swimming, cycling or even walking.
What about sports such as tennis or basketball? Activities requiring
sideways movements are not always a good choice. Particularly as the
mileage builds up toward the end of the program, you raise your risk of
injury if you choose to play a sport that requires sudden stopping and
starting. One tip: You don't have to cross-train the same each weekend.
And you could even combine two or more exercises: walking and easy
jogging or swimming and riding an exercise bike in a health club.
Cross-training for an hour on Sunday will help you recover after your
Saturday long runs.
Strength Training: A frequently asked question
is: "Should I add strength training to my marathon program?" If you have
to ask, you probably should not. I strongly endorse strength training
for maximum fitness and long life, but if you never have pumped iron
before, now is probably not the time to start.
Rest: Despite my listing it at the end, rest is an
important component of this or any training program. Scientists will
tell you that it is during the rest period (the 24 to 72 hours between
hard bouts of exercise) that the muscles actually regenerate and get
stronger. Coaches also will tell you that you can't run hard unless you
are well rested. And it is hard running (such as the long runs) that
allows you to improve. If you're constantly fatigued, you will fail to
reach your potential. This is why I include two days of rest each week
for novice runners.
So, as I tweeted earlier...I am accepting support, motivation, inspiration, and adorable text messages now until November 3 when I complete the Indianapolis Monumental Full Marathon.
Even better, mark your calendars and come cheer me on! :)
Much love,
Ashley
Ashley
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Best Speech of My Life
 |
| "True love is finding the soul's counterpart in another." |
So, here goes (and yes, I cried!!!):
Sarah, I hope you feel like the most beautiful girl the world…
because tonight, you truly are.
I get goosebumps every time I see the way Will looks at you.
I am so happy for you both.
I’ve known Sarah her entire life. I’m technically her older sister, but our relationship might prove otherwise. I will stick with 3 main examples that indicate how Sarah truly might be the older sister. So, our parents might have some explaining to do later…
Number One: When we were about 4 and 5 years old, the neighbor girl pushed me down the stairs headfirst. I decided to cry my eyes out – per usual, and Sarah chased the girl the entire way home – screaming at her the whole way. From that moment on, Sarah never wasted a second defending me when someone hurt me or put me down.
Number Two: Growing up, I always turned to Sarah for advice about boys, fashion, and friends. I wanted Sarah’s input on everything.
Number Three: When I was scared at night…usually fearing an alien invasion, evil ghosts, or a random tornado, I would crawl into bed with Sarah. I would wake her up and say, “Sarah – are you afraid? Do you want me to sleep with you?” She would never judge me or tell anyone about my fears, instead she would just scoot over and make room for me in her bed.
Now, I didn’t always appreciate Sarah as my “older sister.” I remember Grandma Kaye once telling us, “You’ll be best friends one day. I promise.”
But we both refused to believe her…we were simply different people.
- We hated sharing a room together.
- We hated sharing our birthday parties together.
- And we hated sharing friends.
But looking back, those were the best days of my life. I’ll never forget:
- Swimming at the city pool all day, even if we had softball games that night
- Skipping school to play barbies together
- Eating pizza and watching SNICK on Saturday nights
- Riding our bikes all around Decatur, even though we told mom we would only go around the block - sorry mom...
- And making ridiculous home movies
We had a blast growing up …because we had each other.
Sarah, I am so happy that you found someone to defend you when someone puts you down or makes you feel defeated. I can rest easy at night knowing you have someone to climb into bed with when you’re scared. And most importantly, I’m happy that you’ve found a new best friend to make you feel complete.
Now to Will…
The first time I met Will I had a few drinks in me. That night, Sarah kept talking about this guy she met online. So by nature, I was a little nervous for her. Nothing against Will, but I just watch too much Investigation Discovery and Criminal Minds to be a normal person.
But once we pulled up, I looked over at Will and he looked pretty normal. I patted my sister on the back and said, “You’re good. Have fun.” I ended up meeting back up with Sarah and Will that evening because they picked me up from the bar. Once they walked in, I stood up and yelled, “Everyone here comes my sister and her soulmate, Will!” I just knew…
We spent the entire night:
- Laughing
- Eating chicken, bacon and ranch pizza
- And prank calling my husband, who was not impressed with me that night.
I knew Will would either love me or think I was the craziest person in the world. Maybe both. But I honestly couldn’t pick out a better man for Sarah. As Justin said earlier during the wedding ceremony, I haven’t seen my sister this happy in years.
Will, you are a true gentleman- your mother did a great raising you! You put family first. You make my sister so incredibly happy – and when you don’t, I am sure she lets you know…it takes a lot to marry a Bedwell girl. Call Justin for advice if you ever need it. But I know you will be:
- a wonderful husband to Sarah
- a great father to Braxen and Landen
- and amazing brother to me
So, let’s all raise our glasses and cheers to the beautiful and happy newlyweds.
Much love,
Ashley
Sunday, July 8, 2012
My One Night Stand with Carla Jo
I was high and Carla was drunk when we had our one night stand.
Okay, let me clarify our situation.
I was on runners high...I had just completed a hilly, tough, hot half marathon the day before. Despite an injury and the tough course, I finished the race with all my heart. I felt very inspired and accomplished.
And Carla, well no excuses for her- she really was drunk off bloody marys and craft beer.
Meggie Dials had tweeted me earlier that morning..challenging me to do complete a full marathon within the next year.
Soon enough, Christi, Bri and a few other Perfect Strangers were cheering me on.
(Insert the song Under Pressure here)
A few hours later, I ran into Carla. Her friend Meghan, another Perfect Stranger, had sprinkled the idea of a full marathon in Carla's ear all day.
So by the time I met him up the crew to celebrate Josh Dial's amazing full marathon earlier that morning, Carla made the first move.
"Ashley, I've always wanted to do a full marathon before I turn 30," Carla said from across the table.
"And I've been thinking about doing 26 miles for my 26th birthday November!" I said.
"I turn 30 in December! Let's do this!" Carla said.
She whispered her pace across the table to me.
To my relief, we are around the same pace.
We would make a great team.
Not to mention, Carla is really fun.
It seemed to good to be true...a running partner - at the same pace as me - with the same goal - AND an extra bonus, I love Carla's fun personality and stories.
"Deal!" I said across the table. "Let's do it."
And then I tweeted about our new journey together to make it official and public.
The next morning, I woke up with a feeling of regret.
Maybe not regret...but definitely self-doubt.
Can I really do 26.2 miles?
Can I really commit to the training?
Can I really keep up with Carla?
Can I really stay injury free for ONE training program?
These questions have haunted me for the past two months.
On Monday, Carla joked that she also woke up the next morning thinking, "What the heck did I just agree to!?"
So far, Carla and I have ran together about 4 times. I absolutely LOVE running with Carla, but this Tuesday was a hard run. It was hot. I was sore. I was mentally unavailable. The entire time, I found myself thinking, "Can I even do this? 4 miles seems so far...I can't imagine doing 22.2 more miles."
We ran with one of Carla's friends. The hot weather, lack of hydration and lack of mental strength got the best of me.
"Ash, if you need to take a break just let us know," Carla said when she heard me struggling.
"You guys just run ahead," I said. "I think I'm going to slow down."
I hated to walk, but I felt awful. I am training myself to get out of the habit of walking...and surprisingly we can the first 2 miles with only one 30 second (or so) walking break.
The last two miles, I probably took 3 more 30 second walking breaks. Carla and Lindsay finished about a minute ahead of me, but when I saw them finish I heard Carla yell for me, "FINISH STRONG ASH!"
I pushed my body forward and sprinted to the end of the road.
"Nice work, girl!" Carla said.
I thanked them for keeping me positive and inspiring me to finish strong. Support and motivation from your friends and even strangers, is truly invaluable when your body and mind are weak. Heck, I love the inspiration even when I'm running at my best pace!
I would be lying if I said I was confident in my running, training and this full marathon in general.
I feel anxious and nervous and defeated at times.
Thankfully, just when I'm feeling deep in my self-doubt, Justin perks me up.
He encourages me to run when I'd rather drink wine on the couch.
He helps me eat healthy by cooking fresh meals at home (and now from our garden!!).
He reminds me that beyond anyone else, I am the one who needs to believe in myself.
And when he sees me spreading myself too thin (everyday), he encourages me to step back and make time for my goals (running a full marathon).
Today, I looked in the mirror and noticed a difference in my body.
"I am starting to feel like I look athletic," I said to Justin.
"That's because you are!" Justin said and put his arm around my shoulders. "You're killing it, Ash! That's why I tell you not to give a damn about the scale - because that number does not show how amazing you look!"
He gave me a kiss and said, "I am so proud of you!"
It's about time that I be proud of me too.
Tomorrow, I will run with confidence.
Tomorrow, I will run for me.
Tomorrow, I will run and dream of crossing the finish line on November 3 after fighting through 26.2 miles.
Much love,
Ashley
Okay, let me clarify our situation.
I was on runners high...I had just completed a hilly, tough, hot half marathon the day before. Despite an injury and the tough course, I finished the race with all my heart. I felt very inspired and accomplished.
And Carla, well no excuses for her- she really was drunk off bloody marys and craft beer.
Meggie Dials had tweeted me earlier that morning..challenging me to do complete a full marathon within the next year.
Soon enough, Christi, Bri and a few other Perfect Strangers were cheering me on.
(Insert the song Under Pressure here)
A few hours later, I ran into Carla. Her friend Meghan, another Perfect Stranger, had sprinkled the idea of a full marathon in Carla's ear all day.
So by the time I met him up the crew to celebrate Josh Dial's amazing full marathon earlier that morning, Carla made the first move.
"Ashley, I've always wanted to do a full marathon before I turn 30," Carla said from across the table.
"And I've been thinking about doing 26 miles for my 26th birthday November!" I said.
"I turn 30 in December! Let's do this!" Carla said.
She whispered her pace across the table to me.
To my relief, we are around the same pace.
We would make a great team.
Not to mention, Carla is really fun.
It seemed to good to be true...a running partner - at the same pace as me - with the same goal - AND an extra bonus, I love Carla's fun personality and stories.
"Deal!" I said across the table. "Let's do it."
And then I tweeted about our new journey together to make it official and public.
The next morning, I woke up with a feeling of regret.
Maybe not regret...but definitely self-doubt.
Can I really do 26.2 miles?
Can I really commit to the training?
Can I really keep up with Carla?
Can I really stay injury free for ONE training program?
These questions have haunted me for the past two months.
On Monday, Carla joked that she also woke up the next morning thinking, "What the heck did I just agree to!?"
So far, Carla and I have ran together about 4 times. I absolutely LOVE running with Carla, but this Tuesday was a hard run. It was hot. I was sore. I was mentally unavailable. The entire time, I found myself thinking, "Can I even do this? 4 miles seems so far...I can't imagine doing 22.2 more miles."
We ran with one of Carla's friends. The hot weather, lack of hydration and lack of mental strength got the best of me.
"Ash, if you need to take a break just let us know," Carla said when she heard me struggling.
"You guys just run ahead," I said. "I think I'm going to slow down."
I hated to walk, but I felt awful. I am training myself to get out of the habit of walking...and surprisingly we can the first 2 miles with only one 30 second (or so) walking break.
The last two miles, I probably took 3 more 30 second walking breaks. Carla and Lindsay finished about a minute ahead of me, but when I saw them finish I heard Carla yell for me, "FINISH STRONG ASH!"
I pushed my body forward and sprinted to the end of the road.
"Nice work, girl!" Carla said.
I thanked them for keeping me positive and inspiring me to finish strong. Support and motivation from your friends and even strangers, is truly invaluable when your body and mind are weak. Heck, I love the inspiration even when I'm running at my best pace!
I would be lying if I said I was confident in my running, training and this full marathon in general.
I feel anxious and nervous and defeated at times.
Thankfully, just when I'm feeling deep in my self-doubt, Justin perks me up.
He encourages me to run when I'd rather drink wine on the couch.
He helps me eat healthy by cooking fresh meals at home (and now from our garden!!).
He reminds me that beyond anyone else, I am the one who needs to believe in myself.
And when he sees me spreading myself too thin (everyday), he encourages me to step back and make time for my goals (running a full marathon).
Today, I looked in the mirror and noticed a difference in my body.
"I am starting to feel like I look athletic," I said to Justin.
"That's because you are!" Justin said and put his arm around my shoulders. "You're killing it, Ash! That's why I tell you not to give a damn about the scale - because that number does not show how amazing you look!"
He gave me a kiss and said, "I am so proud of you!"
It's about time that I be proud of me too.
Tomorrow, I will run with confidence.
Tomorrow, I will run for me.
Tomorrow, I will run and dream of crossing the finish line on November 3 after fighting through 26.2 miles.
Much love,
Ashley
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Golf Clubs for My Birthday?
.JPG) |
| Golf gal in the making. |
That was two years ago.
Today, Justin went golfing with his dad- and Lisa and I tagged along for the golf cart ride.
At first, I was just drinking my vodka tonic and yelling random comments like the guy from the US Open.
"MASHED POTATOES!"
"MEDIUM RARE"
"YABA DABA DOOOO!"
But then, I started to pay attention to the game.
The detail.
The concentration.
The form.
The approach.
The strategy.
And soon enough, I wanted give this game of golf a try again!
Justin gave me some coaching with his driver, and I took a few practice swings.
Once I made contact with the ball, it felt amazing.
"Holy shit," Rodger said. "That's impressive."
I hit the ball about 200 yards.
I was thrilled.
Justin and his dad let me play my ball all the way through the hole.
"Dang girl," Rodger said after I hit the ball for the second time with the 7 iron (maybe, that sounds familiar) and it got really close to the hole! "Looks like you might need some clubs for your birthday or anniversary."
I looked over and Justin was laughing.
"This is uneblievable!" Justin said. "Maybe I need to start taking you out after all!"
And when they turned around to drive away, Justin looked back with a giant smile and pointed at me.
I felt so proud.
I finished by using a wedge to plop my ball closer to the hole and then used the putter. Look - I'm even learning the terminology.
Tiger Woods might have won the 74th PGA Tour today, but I won so much more: Confidence and encourage to take on a sport I know nothing about.
Much love,
Ashley
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Keep Calm & Love Running
As many of you know, I signed up for my first full marathon earlier this month.
At times, I feel completely crazy for signing up for a full marathon. I'm not sure what I'm thinking, but I am trying to stay motivated by seeking inspiration daily.
Most of the time, I am busting with happiness...ready to take on this challenge and fight to that finish line.
I ask for advice- from both rookie and veteran runners.
I read articles about inspiring people who've completed full marathons and other challenging races.
I research training programs to determine which program will work best for me and my hectic schedule.
NO skipping out on long runs when training for a full marathon.
I follow amazing people on Twitter who keep me inspired and motivated. See below.
I run with my friends as often as possible! Last night at The Brew Mile, the heat was getting the best of me. And my legs felt sore and tight from not stretching well before my run. When we were coming up to the finish line, Mel looked at me and said, "We are almost there!! And under 12 minutes...run for it, Ash! Run!"
And I did. I felt like Forest Gump - and I probably looked just as awkward, but I went on for it.
To be completely honest, I'm scared shitless about this full marathon. Thankfully, I have Carla, who is an INCREDIBLE running partner. We've only ran together a few times, but I'm confident we make an amazing team. And today I got a beautiful reminder that I have the most loving and supportive friends and family.
One my coworkers was handing out the mail and said, "I have goodies for you!"
Goodies? I hardly ever receive mail at the office.
My immediate reaction was jury duty- probably because I watch too much Investigation Discovery.
I was wrong. And thankfully so...because what I opened up filled my heart with so much hope and joy.
My beautiful friend Melanie Allen sent me this poster with an inspiring note. I rearranged everything on my desk and put it right in front of my computer, so I see it every second, of every day.
Her letter and poster came at the most perfect time.
I was starting to doubt myself...
I was questioning my abilities...
I was fearful that my mind would defeat my body...
Then Mel sent me this perfect reminder to
keep calm and just focus on my love for running.
And by the time I got home from work, my friend Samantha Adamczeski sent me pictures from the #MakeTheRules Athlete's Handbook by Nike Women. She said it reminded her of me..and I was truly flattered.
Here are a few of my favorites:
I have no clue what my full marathon journey will entail. But I'll maintain my positive outlook and attitude through the love and support of my friends and family...I couldn't keep pushing and fighting through those tough miles without you all. When my body feels like giving up, I drift away to to the messages, comments and posts from you.
You are all helping me make my own rules.
You are all a part of my handbook to success.
Much love,
Ashley
At times, I feel completely crazy for signing up for a full marathon. I'm not sure what I'm thinking, but I am trying to stay motivated by seeking inspiration daily.
Most of the time, I am busting with happiness...ready to take on this challenge and fight to that finish line.
I ask for advice- from both rookie and veteran runners.
I read articles about inspiring people who've completed full marathons and other challenging races.
I research training programs to determine which program will work best for me and my hectic schedule.
NO skipping out on long runs when training for a full marathon.
I follow amazing people on Twitter who keep me inspired and motivated. See below.
 |
| A few of my beautiful running mentors and friends Meggie, Martha Ellen and Christi! |
And I did. I felt like Forest Gump - and I probably looked just as awkward, but I went on for it.
 |
| Our official finish time was 11:28!!!!! I'll take it!:) |
One my coworkers was handing out the mail and said, "I have goodies for you!"
Goodies? I hardly ever receive mail at the office.
My immediate reaction was jury duty- probably because I watch too much Investigation Discovery.
I was wrong. And thankfully so...because what I opened up filled my heart with so much hope and joy.
 |
| It's the little and kind gestures in life that have the biggest impact. Thank you again, Mel. |
Her letter and poster came at the most perfect time.
I was starting to doubt myself...
I was questioning my abilities...
I was fearful that my mind would defeat my body...
Then Mel sent me this perfect reminder to
keep calm and just focus on my love for running.
And by the time I got home from work, my friend Samantha Adamczeski sent me pictures from the #MakeTheRules Athlete's Handbook by Nike Women. She said it reminded her of me..and I was truly flattered.
Here are a few of my favorites:
I have no clue what my full marathon journey will entail. But I'll maintain my positive outlook and attitude through the love and support of my friends and family...I couldn't keep pushing and fighting through those tough miles without you all. When my body feels like giving up, I drift away to to the messages, comments and posts from you.
You are all helping me make my own rules.
You are all a part of my handbook to success.
Much love,
Ashley
Sunday, June 10, 2012
In Time, Happy Memories Are All That Will Remain
Yesterday morning, my sister and I woke up early to walk 4.7 miles in honor of our Uncle LJ.
"How did you even start running?" Sarah asked as we kicked off our long walk together.
"Well, I had just graduated college and I was looking for my next big 'thing' to focus on," I said. "I was always inspired by my friends who ran half marathons and other races. But, I was never the running type...I hated it actually. I would hide behind the bleachers during our warm up and cool down runs when I was in track. And the only thing I hated more than running a mile in gym class was squared lunch pizza. Anyway, one day I just jumped on the treadmill...and I could barely run for 30 seconds without stopping. But, I didn't give up. And now I've done 4 half marathons and countless races.. "
"I really don't know how you do it," Sarah said.
"Some days, I don't either," I said back. "But I can't seem to live without it. I run when I am sad. I run when I am stressed. I run when I want to eat nachos or cake balls. Running is just part of who I am now."
I gave her advice that my running mentors once gave me:
And soon enough, we both agreed that time goes too quickly...and we need to make more time for family.
I remember when we hit the 5K point, I was thrilled for Sarah.
"It's not even 9 am, and you've already done a 5K," I said.
"Yeah, but we walked the whole way," she said. "But I guess you have to start somewhere."
She already has the PERFECT attitude. I couldn't be more proud of her...4.7 miles is the farthest my sister has ever walked / ran.
When we got home, we plopped on the ground and started stretching.
Just as we were finishing up the picture, Sarah's snarky neighbor lady yelled at us, "EXCUSE ME, LADIES! THAT IS NOT YOUR YARD! GET OUT OF IT WITH THAT DOG!"
I was shocked.
Absolutely shocked.
First, it really didn't look like her yard - because as you can see from the picture above - we were far from her driveway.
Second, who is that unhappy and hateful in life?
I didn't know what to say...and I was full of emotions.
I looked at her for about 30 seconds without saying anything and then I stood up.
"Well, I just hope you have a great day!!" I said and meant it in the most sarcastic way possible.
"Oh, well..." she said. "You too then!"
She just stood there in her ugly night gown, unsure what to say next..
I leaned over to Sarah and said, "Kill em' with kindness I guess."
Then, I told Sarah what I REALLY wanted to yell back, which is not appropriate for this blog.
When I told my mom the story later, I joked that I couldn't believe my best comeback was, "I just hope you have a great day!"
"I'm not," she said. "That's just how our family is..."
And thankfully so... because being rude back to her wouldn't have made me a better person or less upset.
***
The funeral was hard- but that's not a surprise. What funeral is ever easy?
I walked in with Justin and the room was silent except for the video slideshow playing in the background.
No one was talking.
Everyone was crying.
I didn't really know who to hug first or what to say..so I decided to just watch the slideshow.
Soon, my mom and Aunt Cathy walked over to me.
The site of them crying made me tear up, so we shared hugs and just cried together watching the slideshow.
Thankfully, a few pictures made us laugh.
When the video started from the beginning, I laughed that Lady GaGa "Born This Way" was the intro song.
My Aunt Cathy, who made the slideshow, started smiling and said, "This was the #4 song played in his iTunes."
And if you knew Uncle LJ, you would just crack up picturing him listening to Lady GaGa.
When the next song in the video started, Aunt Cathy told me it was the #2 song in his iTunes....
"Only The Good Die Young."
My heart sank...
Eventually, I walked over to his casket. He had hot sauce in his pocket (he put it on everything). His iPod was placed in his hands. A sign next to his casket said, "Everything I learned in life was from Star Trek." His giant travel mug was on the ground next to him and his collection of fun ties laid across the casket. Memories raced through my mind...everything was placed perfectly around him.
A few minutes later, my nephew Braxen went up to the casket and said, "Have fun in heaven with Grandpa."
Then my other nephew Landen went up to the casket and started blowing kisses and waving goodbye to him.
My Aunt Angie heard the boys and turned away to cry. Most of us did...
I did my best to hold it together throughout the day. I wanted to say strong for everyone else. But I broke down on the ride home. I remember trying to close my eyes...hoping I would stop crying if my eyes were closed. But obviously that didn't work...
When I got home, I text my mom and said, "I love you so much! I can't imagine your pain and hurt right now, but you know I am here for you!"
A few hours later, she text me: "Love you baby girl! Saying goodbye is never an easy thing, but in time happy memories are all that will remain."
With that, I picked myself off the couch and got ready for a date night with Justin. And off we went to make happy memories of our own...
Much love,
Ashley
"How did you even start running?" Sarah asked as we kicked off our long walk together.
"Well, I had just graduated college and I was looking for my next big 'thing' to focus on," I said. "I was always inspired by my friends who ran half marathons and other races. But, I was never the running type...I hated it actually. I would hide behind the bleachers during our warm up and cool down runs when I was in track. And the only thing I hated more than running a mile in gym class was squared lunch pizza. Anyway, one day I just jumped on the treadmill...and I could barely run for 30 seconds without stopping. But, I didn't give up. And now I've done 4 half marathons and countless races.. "
"I really don't know how you do it," Sarah said.
"Some days, I don't either," I said back. "But I can't seem to live without it. I run when I am sad. I run when I am stressed. I run when I want to eat nachos or cake balls. Running is just part of who I am now."
I gave her advice that my running mentors once gave me:
- Wear good running shoes. When your feet hurt, everything hurts!
- Focus on distance or speed, you can't do both right away.
- Take it one step at a time. One mile at a time.
- Just start by putting one foot in front of the door. And repeat.
- Don't compare yourself to anyone else...when you're running, run for you!
- Buy Body Glide. You must buy Body Glide.
- Sign up for races to stay motivated and on track.
- Listen to your body, but remember running is about 30% physical and 70% mental. Be strong mentally.
And soon enough, we both agreed that time goes too quickly...and we need to make more time for family.
I remember when we hit the 5K point, I was thrilled for Sarah.
"It's not even 9 am, and you've already done a 5K," I said.
"Yeah, but we walked the whole way," she said. "But I guess you have to start somewhere."
She already has the PERFECT attitude. I couldn't be more proud of her...4.7 miles is the farthest my sister has ever walked / ran.
When we got home, we plopped on the ground and started stretching.
 |
| We did it! P.S. Look at Bandit's smile. What a stud. |
I was shocked.
Absolutely shocked.
First, it really didn't look like her yard - because as you can see from the picture above - we were far from her driveway.
Second, who is that unhappy and hateful in life?
I didn't know what to say...and I was full of emotions.
I looked at her for about 30 seconds without saying anything and then I stood up.
"Well, I just hope you have a great day!!" I said and meant it in the most sarcastic way possible.
"Oh, well..." she said. "You too then!"
She just stood there in her ugly night gown, unsure what to say next..
I leaned over to Sarah and said, "Kill em' with kindness I guess."
Then, I told Sarah what I REALLY wanted to yell back, which is not appropriate for this blog.
When I told my mom the story later, I joked that I couldn't believe my best comeback was, "I just hope you have a great day!"
"I'm not," she said. "That's just how our family is..."
And thankfully so... because being rude back to her wouldn't have made me a better person or less upset.
***
The funeral was hard- but that's not a surprise. What funeral is ever easy?
I walked in with Justin and the room was silent except for the video slideshow playing in the background.
No one was talking.
Everyone was crying.
I didn't really know who to hug first or what to say..so I decided to just watch the slideshow.
Soon, my mom and Aunt Cathy walked over to me.
The site of them crying made me tear up, so we shared hugs and just cried together watching the slideshow.
Thankfully, a few pictures made us laugh.
When the video started from the beginning, I laughed that Lady GaGa "Born This Way" was the intro song.
My Aunt Cathy, who made the slideshow, started smiling and said, "This was the #4 song played in his iTunes."
And if you knew Uncle LJ, you would just crack up picturing him listening to Lady GaGa.
When the next song in the video started, Aunt Cathy told me it was the #2 song in his iTunes....
"Only The Good Die Young."
My heart sank...
Eventually, I walked over to his casket. He had hot sauce in his pocket (he put it on everything). His iPod was placed in his hands. A sign next to his casket said, "Everything I learned in life was from Star Trek." His giant travel mug was on the ground next to him and his collection of fun ties laid across the casket. Memories raced through my mind...everything was placed perfectly around him.
A few minutes later, my nephew Braxen went up to the casket and said, "Have fun in heaven with Grandpa."
Then my other nephew Landen went up to the casket and started blowing kisses and waving goodbye to him.
My Aunt Angie heard the boys and turned away to cry. Most of us did...
I did my best to hold it together throughout the day. I wanted to say strong for everyone else. But I broke down on the ride home. I remember trying to close my eyes...hoping I would stop crying if my eyes were closed. But obviously that didn't work...
When I got home, I text my mom and said, "I love you so much! I can't imagine your pain and hurt right now, but you know I am here for you!"
A few hours later, she text me: "Love you baby girl! Saying goodbye is never an easy thing, but in time happy memories are all that will remain."
With that, I picked myself off the couch and got ready for a date night with Justin. And off we went to make happy memories of our own...
"Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure."
-Oprah Winfrey
Much love,
Ashley
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Your Troubles Will Quickly Pass
Sunday was a beautiful day. Not only was the sun shining bright, but it was the day of my lovely sister's bridal shower.
I was, of course, a hot mess from 8 am to noon. I spent most of the morning buying items I forgot for the games, updating my timeline of events, and finalizing the food order.
Grandma Kaye reminded me EVERYTHING would be perfect. Not because I'm a perfectionist, but because "it just will be."
God love her- she was right.
The shower was a blast. We shared a lot of laughs and I got to meet my amazing brother-in-law's mother and grandma.
The only downside was my Grandma Iris couldn't make the shower. I would soon learn that her absence was a blessing in disguise, as it would be the last day she would ever spend with her son, Larry Jr.
***
My sister called me at 6:45 a.m. on Monday morning. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I knew something was wrong. She never calls me early in the morning.
"Hey Ash," Sarah said softly. "Uncle LJ passed away this morning."
"Oh," is all that came out of my mouth. "Wow."
He was only 47.
"Angie found him this morning because he didn't get up for work," she said. "He passed away in the same room-the same way, as Grandpa."
"Wow," I said again. "I'm so happy that Grandma had all day yesterday with him."
Sarah told me that Uncle LJ was great yesterday. My mom saw him for a split second, and Grandma got to spend the whole day with him. Angie, his wife, spent the evening watching "The Time Traveler's Wife" with him before bed.
When I learned that was the last movie they ever watched together as a married couple, I got goosebumps.
"How is mom?" I asked.
"I could barely understand her when I called," Sarah said. "She was crying really hard."
My mind flashed back to my Grandpa Larry.... I could hear my mom screaming at me to wake up, "Ashley- wake up!! They think Grandpa is dead!"
I drifted back to reality and asked Sarah to keep me updated. "Please let me know if anyone needs me for absolutely anything," I said.
I didn't wake Justin up with the news, but I had a feeling he heard me on the phone. I stepped into the shower and a few seconds later, Justin walked into the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Is there anything I can do?"
"I'm OK," I lied with tears and water streaming down my face. "I know I didn't see him that often, so we weren't super close, but.."
"But it's never easy," Justin said.
"He was just so young," I said. "47 years old is so young."
I instantly remembered one of my favorite memories of Uncle LJ. A memory that truly illustrates his kind heart and love for family.
The winter of my senior year, I totaled my big blue van. I had no money saved up for a new car, so I was extremely devastated.
My Uncle LJ learned about the accident and told my mom he could sell me one his cars. I was over-joyed!
"Uncle LJ has a Saturn that he doesn't drive much," I remember mom telling me. "It's older, but in good shape."
"A car is a car!" I said. "How much?"
"Well, he said he will sell it to you for one dollar!" Mom said.
"ONE FREAKING DOLLAR?" I said. "That's it!?"
I remember crying (well because as you know, I cry a lot). I was so incredibly happy and thankful.
When we went to put the car in my name at BMV, he wouldn't even accept my dollar. I can only hope he knows how thankful I was that day...
Later in the afternoon, I learned Uncle LJ had a massive heart attack in his sleep.
***
Walking out of the office today for lunch, I felt my throat tighten up.
"Do not cry," I told myself.
I was about to burst into tears when I tripped over my own shoe. Thankfully, I found the courage to laugh at myself and kept walking with a smile on my face.
***
Tonight, I ordered shrimp and broccoli with white rice. The healthiest Chinese food option I've come across. And this was my fortune:
My uncle's sudden death reminds me that I must stop stressing the small things. I need to focus on WHO and WHAT matters most in my life. My worries and frustrations seem so small when I think of Aunt, who lost her husband and best friend Monday morning.
My mother, who will never share a hug with her older brother and role model growing up.
And my grandma, who will lay her son to rest on Saturday.
Even though I can't control the past, I can influence the future. I'm hoping to organize or participate in a run with my family + make a donation to the American Heart Association in his honor. I am inspired to continue living a healthy and heart-happy lifestyle.
To ensure this happens, I signed up for my first FULL marathon tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My motto will be a quote I heard during a recent episode of Extreme Weight Loss Edition:
"Don't listen to your body, conquer it."
***
And before I leave you, I wanted to add...
Don't forget how important your health is...if you are trying to lose weight and struggling to find motivation, just remember this:
you only get one body, so treat it like a temple.
Love your family, friends, and future enough to live a healthy and active lifestyle.
I understand a health transformation is not easy. By all means, you've read about my struggles in this little blog. But I can promise you a few things:
You will push your body to new limits.
You will breakdown.
You will have great days.
You will have bad days.
You will cry during the highs and lows.
And I'll be here for you every step of the way.
Much love,
Ashley
I was, of course, a hot mess from 8 am to noon. I spent most of the morning buying items I forgot for the games, updating my timeline of events, and finalizing the food order.
Grandma Kaye reminded me EVERYTHING would be perfect. Not because I'm a perfectionist, but because "it just will be."
God love her- she was right.
 |
| Sisters. Friends. Bridesmaids. |
 |
| Smiling with the adorable Evie & bride-to-be. |
The only downside was my Grandma Iris couldn't make the shower. I would soon learn that her absence was a blessing in disguise, as it would be the last day she would ever spend with her son, Larry Jr.
***
My sister called me at 6:45 a.m. on Monday morning. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I knew something was wrong. She never calls me early in the morning.
"Hey Ash," Sarah said softly. "Uncle LJ passed away this morning."
"Oh," is all that came out of my mouth. "Wow."
He was only 47.
"Angie found him this morning because he didn't get up for work," she said. "He passed away in the same room-the same way, as Grandpa."
"Wow," I said again. "I'm so happy that Grandma had all day yesterday with him."
Sarah told me that Uncle LJ was great yesterday. My mom saw him for a split second, and Grandma got to spend the whole day with him. Angie, his wife, spent the evening watching "The Time Traveler's Wife" with him before bed.
When I learned that was the last movie they ever watched together as a married couple, I got goosebumps.
"How is mom?" I asked.
"I could barely understand her when I called," Sarah said. "She was crying really hard."
My mind flashed back to my Grandpa Larry.... I could hear my mom screaming at me to wake up, "Ashley- wake up!! They think Grandpa is dead!"
I drifted back to reality and asked Sarah to keep me updated. "Please let me know if anyone needs me for absolutely anything," I said.
I didn't wake Justin up with the news, but I had a feeling he heard me on the phone. I stepped into the shower and a few seconds later, Justin walked into the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Is there anything I can do?"
"I'm OK," I lied with tears and water streaming down my face. "I know I didn't see him that often, so we weren't super close, but.."
"But it's never easy," Justin said.
"He was just so young," I said. "47 years old is so young."
I instantly remembered one of my favorite memories of Uncle LJ. A memory that truly illustrates his kind heart and love for family.
The winter of my senior year, I totaled my big blue van. I had no money saved up for a new car, so I was extremely devastated.
My Uncle LJ learned about the accident and told my mom he could sell me one his cars. I was over-joyed!
"Uncle LJ has a Saturn that he doesn't drive much," I remember mom telling me. "It's older, but in good shape."
"A car is a car!" I said. "How much?"
"Well, he said he will sell it to you for one dollar!" Mom said.
"ONE FREAKING DOLLAR?" I said. "That's it!?"
I remember crying (well because as you know, I cry a lot). I was so incredibly happy and thankful.
When we went to put the car in my name at BMV, he wouldn't even accept my dollar. I can only hope he knows how thankful I was that day...
Later in the afternoon, I learned Uncle LJ had a massive heart attack in his sleep.
***
Walking out of the office today for lunch, I felt my throat tighten up.
"Do not cry," I told myself.
I was about to burst into tears when I tripped over my own shoe. Thankfully, I found the courage to laugh at myself and kept walking with a smile on my face.
***
Tonight, I ordered shrimp and broccoli with white rice. The healthiest Chinese food option I've come across. And this was my fortune:
 |
| "The troubles you have now will pass away quickly." This message came at the most perfect time. |
My uncle's sudden death reminds me that I must stop stressing the small things. I need to focus on WHO and WHAT matters most in my life. My worries and frustrations seem so small when I think of Aunt, who lost her husband and best friend Monday morning.
My mother, who will never share a hug with her older brother and role model growing up.
And my grandma, who will lay her son to rest on Saturday.
Even though I can't control the past, I can influence the future. I'm hoping to organize or participate in a run with my family + make a donation to the American Heart Association in his honor. I am inspired to continue living a healthy and heart-happy lifestyle.
To ensure this happens, I signed up for my first FULL marathon tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My motto will be a quote I heard during a recent episode of Extreme Weight Loss Edition:
"Don't listen to your body, conquer it."
***
And before I leave you, I wanted to add...
Don't forget how important your health is...if you are trying to lose weight and struggling to find motivation, just remember this:
you only get one body, so treat it like a temple.
Love your family, friends, and future enough to live a healthy and active lifestyle.
I understand a health transformation is not easy. By all means, you've read about my struggles in this little blog. But I can promise you a few things:
You will push your body to new limits.
You will breakdown.
You will have great days.
You will have bad days.
You will cry during the highs and lows.
And I'll be here for you every step of the way.
Much love,
Ashley
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