The majority of people who know me would probably describe me as shy, reserved, and conservative.
Today I proved to myself, my fiance, and my mama Sieb (Justin's Mom) just how outgoing, loud, and over the top I am. I even let myself get embarrassed. The kind of embarrassment that makes your tummy turn left then right and then up and then down all in the same minute.
We were running late to church this morning. Service started at 10:30 a.m. and Justin rolled out of bed at 10 a.m. The church is fifteen minutes away and he didn't hop in the shower until about 10:08 a.m. I, of course, was awake early and dressed in my Sunday finest at 9:30 a.m. We had a big day today! Our first day of pre-martial counseling. Little did I know I wish I would have packed a mask.
As we ran into the church sneaking in the side door, we saw Pastor B.
I ran past him and smiled, rushing to the bathroom and trying to not look "late."
"Hey Ashley, I might embarrass you a little bit today in church!" Pastor B said.
"Ohhh great," I said. "Well thanks for the heads up!"
He shouldn't have given me a heads up. I'm not a girl who needs a warning. This is later proved in the story.
So the service started. We sing a few songs and then the sermon begins. The readings were wedding readings. And it begins.
Then all of a sudden wedding music started playing.
Oh no! I thought.
Justin and I looked at each other, smiled and then looked around the church.
"Do I have a bride in here?!" Pastor B asked the congregation.
Me, I thought.
Should I walk down the isle? Am I supposed to walk down there and that's what is embarrassing!?! Instead of walking, I opened my big fat mouth!
"Do you want me to come down there?" I screamed.
Everyone turned around. Some laughed. Some smiled. Some looked at me like I was most socially awkward individual on the face of earth. Well, truly, I probably am. after this experience.
Pastor B starred at me and laughed a lot.
"Is the Bride not coming down the isle!?!? Where is she!?" He asked again.
By this time, I was really confused.
Okay, if you want me to come down there, just say it. Don't beat around the bush, I thought.
"Maybe she will come if I play another song," Pastor B said.
So another song began.
"So where is my bride!?" He asked again.
"WELL I AM RIGHT HERE!!!!" I screamed again.
I looked over at Justin and he had his hands over his face. He embarrassed for himself and me at the same time. Justin's mom knew where Pastor B was going, "This is part of the sermon," she mouthed to me.
I wanted to get up and walk out of the church service.The true "bride" was the congregation. And we were there today to renew our vows and promises to The Lord.
"No, not you Ashley," Pastor B said. "I'll get to you later."
I sank deep into the pew. So embarrassed. This wasn't even my church, so the people there don't understand my personality. I was in for it.
So he explained about how the bride was everyone here today and what we should do to renew our vows.
Then he said, "But we do have a young couple about to get married. Justin and Ashley, why don't you stand up. Everyone clap for them and show them our love."
Oh, don't worry, I thought. I've already stood up and let it be KNOWN by all in the state of Indiana that I'm engaged to Justin.
"They are here today for their first pre-martial counseling session," Pastor B said. "So we should start now! Do you guys know what you are getting yourselves into!?"
I looked at Justin. He looked straight ahead and said, "YES!" I just starred. I was still picturing myself throwing my hands in the air saying, "I AM RIGHT HERE!" LOL
When I went him to take communion, I saw people point. Some smiled. One old man pulled me aside and said, "Are you sure you want to do this?!" It aade me laugh, but I definitely was the center of the service.
I got up to Pastor B and all I could do was smile/look like a deer in headlights.
"Are you sure you want to get married here still?!" Pastor B asked laughing.
I didn't even have a response. Just that look on my face I get when I am confused.
Justin couldn't stop laughing. As soon as I told him I was embarrassed, he felt it was fair game to make fun of the situation openly.
"I wouldn't have this much fun with anyone else," Justin leaned over and said while laughing. "I wouldn't even have HALF as much fun with anyone else."
I squeezed his hand. God love him. He truly does know he is about to marry a socially awkward loud mouth.
And the best part is he still loves me.
We laughed for most of the service. Replaying my performance in my head. He leaned over and said, "I love you so much Ashley. You really have no idea."
I thought everyone would think I was an idiot, but turns out I made every one's morning. They thought it was "cute" and just showed how excited I am marry to Justin. Well, at least that's what they said to my face!
Both pastors thought my eager bride embarrassing moment was funny. Looking back, it really was.
"Pastor B," I said. "I am a woman with no preface."
I probably wouldn't have done that if he didn't say he was going to embarrass me. But then again, maybe I would have.
Looking at this day with the glass half full, at least I didn't walk down the isle to him.
Although, I did turn around to see if any flower girls were coming. If they walked down the isle, I was sure to follow. Without a doubt.
After our counseling and lunch with Pastor B, we left with a happy hearts and full stomachs. And an extra side of lots of laughs.
I love Justin so much. He truly does love me even when I'm a fool. Or in my defense, I am just an eager bride.