Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Happy

I can't wipe this smile off my face. I find it quite funny too, considering I walked to campus with a frozen tear stream down my face. My make-up was missing in one single path down my face, as the salty tears washed the color away. My heart just hurt. With the holidays coming up, a new kind of stress develops- trying to be at four Christmas in one day. Literally four. I love my family and I love Justin's family- I'm used to being shared on the holidays, but I just wish Christmas was two days long and I could see everyone. It just got to me yesterday.

I spent most of my day yesterday working on my Web site for class. I titled it "Write Minded" - just like my blog. I'm sort of addicted to the catchy name. I was in a funky mood. I couldn't figure out how to work the scanner because the lady in the room told me to just hit the big button. Okay- well the big button doesn't scan the image and save it. So I sat there for 30 minutes hitting the big button waiting for a miracle to happen. Finally, I sucked up my pride and asked her again for help. She said, "Well did you highlight what you want scanned and then hit 'scan' at the bottom of the screen?" Um no, actually I didn't do that because you only told me to hit the big button. Fail. Needless to say, I still fired on.

By the end of the day, the communications director for the secertary of state e-mailed me back wanting to set up an interview with me for a possible part-time internship. I was so excited! I didn't even know how to reply because I had countless thoughts running through my head. Can I juggle an internship, work, and school while trying to plan my wedding and have a social life? Maybe. Maybe not. But after talking to friends and my internship advisor, I realized that going for the interview is the first step. I'm hopeful about my future and I think God is taking me in the right direction. Or I'm about to learn another life lesson - either way, I'm excited.

So the holidays are coming up. I am poor. My door handle is broken so I have to climb over my passenger seat to get in. I've gained about 10 lbs since this time last year. I am trying to be 45 different places at once. My love is out of town on an audit. But I am happy. I am so so happy and I can't tell you amazing it feels to be truly happy with my situation, no matter how good or how bad. Life is journey and the destination isn't as important as the trip. I'm so glad I've finally realized that I need to be happy the entire way or I won't be happy in the end.

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