The Disease of the People Pleaser

I used to obsess about pleasing other people. My needs? What? I don't have those, I just have to make sure everyone else and their brother's sister's neighbor's dog from China is happy, right?

Wrong.

But it took me years to come to this conclusion.

You can't please everyone. I've been reminded of this during the busy month of February. And I know I'm not alone. There are a lot of people out there who have the disease of the people pleaser.

My friend Joceyln Linder posted a tweet last night that said: "My problem is I care way too much for people who don't give a damn about me."

I've battled with exactly what she said my whole life. And, what have I learned?

Use your time, energy and thoughts wisely. All of those things are precious. You are precious.

If you can fully say that someone doesn't give a damn about you, move on. Seriously, if they do not make time for you, don't make time for them. Stop stressing about their actions and control your reactions. Because that is simply all you can do.

I know this is hard and often sad. Because right now you are probably saying or thinking, "But Ashley, I care...that's why I worry. And I love them so I just don't know why they don't love me. I'm so good to them, why aren't they good to me?"

Here is the deal: I don't have the answer to that. But I do know this: you are human. You have emotions. You will care. It will be hard. You won't want to give up, and you don't entirely ever give up on someone you care about.You just simply learn to give what they give, especially if its to the point where you can say that they don't give a crap about you or your feelings.

You are a people pleaser. Its in your blood. Your mom or grandma is probably a people pleaser too. So be aware of this, but most importantly- remind yourself that its crucial to take care of yourself and your own emotions too. You are only ONE person and you can only be in so many places at one time. I have to remind myself of this daily. And that is perfectly fine - because being aware of my emotions is what helps me control them.

Much love,
Ashley

A Special Thank You To My Donors

When I first started running, I had no idea that I would keep up with it. I always get into kicks. I go through a lot of phases, but often - they only last a few weeks. I've probably been on a diet 4,567.42 times in my life. And each one has lasted less than 3 months. Some only lasted 30 minutes. But I've kept up with my running. I need it. I don't view my day as complete without a good run. I buy running clothes instead of new jeans and cute tops. I'm not a total rockstar yet. Its still baby steps. I'm still trying to run w/out doing a walking interval, but that will take time. I'll get there. I believe in myself.

I made a friend on Twitter, @cubicledad, and he told me about his fundraising efforts through The American Heart Association. His daughter is the true reason for his life transformation and fundraising goals. In one year, he lost 100 lbs and completed his first marathon! He is a real inspiration, and he is the reason I joined the Start! Running Team through the American Heart Association. My goal: raise $500 dollars.  Since heart disease is what took my grandpa's life, I felt a true connection to the organization. So far, I've raised $238.

Thank you so much to everyone who has donated. I greatly appreciate your generous donation to an organization that helps provide research and education to stop our No. 1 and No. 3 killers. So cheers to you, my supporters and donors:

• Esmond's Shoe Store (pledge of $0.60 / mile in honor of lives lost in the family due to heart disease)
• Juli and Bob Snively (pledge of $0.10 / mile)
• Kaye and Walt Sieb
• Joe and Diana Lahman
• Robyn Miller
• Sonia Mendez
• Bobbi Johnson
• Ann Gardner
• Sarah and Dusty Frey
• Patsy Brown
• Jenni Desper
• Meggie Dials (my running mentor) 
• Alex Shane and Bobbi Johnson
• Chelsea Baughman
• Heather and Nick Hutton
• April Abernathy

Please let me know if I forgot your name on the list! I want to give all my donors the thank you that they deserve! It means the absolute WORLD to me and every penny counts to making a difference.

If you are interested in donating, you can check go to my personal donation page: http://runwithheartchicago.kintera.org/metrochicago/ashleysieb or send me a check directly made out to The American Heart Association. I'll send you a red wristband that supports the cause too that says, "Run With Heart" and my Twitter name (for you to follow my progress) "@AshleySieb".

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

Much love,
Ashley

I Broke A Promise

I broke a promise. A promise that I made to myself.... to only weigh myself once a month.

I've concluded that cheese + lactose makes me sick / bloated / and otherwise hating life. It's official, but I am in denial. And since cheese and ranch are two of my primary food groups, I've felt like crap the past week. My pants weren't fitting right. My stomach was constantly in pain. Overall, I felt discouraged about my body.

So, why in my right mind would I ever consider weighing myself? Well, I did.

I flushed the toilet so Justin wouldn't hear me grab the scale from under the sink. I turned on the water so he couldn't hear the sigh I might let out. You know you have problems when you are making noise to hide other noises.

I made a promise to only weigh myself once a month. I made a promise to not get caught up in the scale.

I watched as the number went up. Not down.

I closed my eyes praying to see something change. A smaller number.

Why am I getting so caught up in this number?

231.5

Wow. My heart sank.

215 miles and only .5 lbs lost?

Or am I just that bloated that I am retaining 5 lbs of water weight?

Who knows? Either way, I shouldn't have broke the promise I made to myself to stay off the scale.

I let out a deep sigh. I was bummed, but I realized its time to change my eating habits. I've already got the working out thing down, next up - eating habits. I am not going to say "I am going on a diet" - because I am not. I am just going to try to make healthier decisions that will carry out for the rest of my life. I'll still eat dips at parties and cake at weddings (in moderation), but I just can't do that every single day. So my new decisions? Green tea in the morning instead of coffee. Grilled chicken or fish for lunch instead of brown rice and a cheese w/ veggie up quesadilla. Fruit for snacks. Beef jereky instead of energy drinks for fuel.

Justin walked in and saw me, "Hey cutie! You look nice today!"

"That's not what the scale says, butttt...." I said and then he interrupted me.

"You weighed yourself?" He asked. "You know not to do that...well, we will just have to start eating better. And I hate to say this, but you gotta get off the cheese."

Cheese is my drug. It's like he read my mind. It made me smile. He knows my addictions. Cheese and ranch. I guess it could be worse, but time to get serious.

***

This weekend I went shopping with Justin. I was disappointed at first because I didn't find anything that I could justify spending money on. The old Ashley, who didn't have a husband that knew everything about fiances, would buy anything and everything if it was on sale. Or even if I liked it just a little bit.

Now, I evaluate everything. Is the fabric too thin? If it was on sale, I hear Justin say in my head, "It's probably on sale for a reason!"

Disappointed, I headed into my new, favorite section. Active wear. I grabbed shorts, capris and two workout t-shirts from FILA. All on sale! Even better, size Large! See you later XL. The scale might be evil, but my waist line isn't. I'm glad to see results in places that matter the most.

So while I was sad about the evil scale, I learned a valuable lesson. Keep your promises. Always. My new theory is a health lifestyle: eating right and working out ....will get me to the place I want to be in life. And give me the health I need in life.

You see, you make promises for a reason. And at the end of the day, you want to make sure you are the best person that you can possibly be - and you don't want anything (like a number on the scale) getting in the way of that...

Much love,
Ashley

Will The Siebs Be On Cops?

BANG, BANG, BANG.

It was the loudest knock on the door I've ever heard. And it was also midnight.

I'd like to let you know (or remind a few of you) that I have a pretty crazy mind. More often than not, I have nightmares. So, when I heard a knock as loud and powerful as that, I definitely pictured a murderer at our door.

"What the heck is going on!?" I asked Justin.

Bandit started freaking out. He was barking and I was bitching. Perfect combo.

There were car lights right outside the door and I heard people talking.


I was absolutely wigging out.

"Don't get it!!!" I whispered, hoping the Charles Manson vision in my head wouldn't hear me. "You don't have to answer."

Justin grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and threw them on. Backwards. No shirt, just chest hair. He walks out of the bedroom.

"OMG, don't go! What if it's a polite rapist who knocks first?!" I whispered, begging him not to answer the door.

Justin opened the door.

Welp, my life is now the movie "My Bloody Valentine."

"Hello, sir are you Frank Sinatra," the voice asked. (I made up the name, I have no idea what he asked. Number one, I was hiding behind the door like a little biatch with Bandit trying to bust down the door).

"No, I'm Justin Sieb," my hubby asked.

It's cops. Okay, not polite rapist. I can breathe again.

"How long have you lived hear?" the cop asked Justin.

"About five months," Justin said.

I seriously just imagine Justin's face looking like a deer in headlights. And then he came to, "Yeah - you guys just caught me off guard."

Another voice answered, "Yeah, you had to go to the bathroom and flush all your weed down the toilet."

"Hahhahaha," they all laughed.

Me? I was confused. Not laughing. Justin laughed.

"Yeah, I just know Frank because his mail comes here because he didn't change his address. Like stuff from the BMV and what not."

"Well, he didn't get anything from the BMV because he doesn't have a license," the weed joking cop said.

"Ohh," Justin laughed. "Okay!"

"Well - thank you sir, have a great night!" one of the cops said.

Then he got on his walkie talkie and said, "Stand down, bad address."

Stand down? What is there a SWAT team outside? What in the WORLD did Frank do? Is his the polite rapist? OMG, get over that, Ashley.

"What was that about?!" I asked rushing out of the bedroom.

"Well, there were four cops at the door and I think probably more at the back," Justin said. "I have no idea what Frank did, but it probably wasn't good. Oh, and there was a guy with a video camera too."

A VIDEO CAMERA?!?! OMG is my husband's statement going to end up on Cops?!

"I think they use it to record to cover there asses in case the suspect says they beat him," Justin said.

"OR you were just on Cops!!!" I yelled. "OMG, you were on Cops!"

****

Today at work I emailed Justin, "I can't stop laughing about last night. And the thought of you being on Cops."

He emailed me back, "They wouldn't show me because I didn't have a wife beater on. And shirtless isn't classy unless you have trashy tattoos all over your body."

****

Looking back, I wish I would have said, "Happy Valentine's Day, baby! I've got you some male strippers!"

But I still wonder what Frank did. And hope to God he never comes back to our place. At least I know we have an amazing guard dog, because Bandit slept in front of the door the rest of the night. So adorable, love my little fur son.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Ours started out with a BANG! Literally.

Much love,
Ashley

A Red Shirt

tutKayla marched into the tutoring room with her arms out like she was a zombie. She closed her eyes and smiled. I knew she saw me. And honestly, I was glad to see her too.

She walked around the room and acted like she didn't see me. It had been two weeks since I saw her last. So, I wasn't going to be surprised if she didn't remember me. Just as that thought crossed my mind, she started running my way. Her bookbag was flopping off her back and she jumped on my lap. She leaned her head down under my neck and wrapped her arms around me like a koala bear.

My heart instantly melted.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down toward her.

"Hi Kayla! I missed you!" I said. "How was school today?"

She made some sort of a moan and started laughing.

"Ashley, do you want to be with Kayla again today?" the coordinator asked me.

"Yes, I'd love that!" I said. "What kind of homework do you have booger?"

I realized that I call everyone I love booger. Justin, Bandit, my nephews, my siblings and now Kayla.

"I don't have any homework!" she said.

Yeah, I've been there and said that - story of my life. Only when I said that, it was so I could go outside and play with the neighbor kids until my skin turned into dirt and my clothes were covered in grass strains. (Sorry mom!)

But she didn't have that option. So, maybe she didn't really have homework.

"Well, show me your folder and tell me what you did in school today!" I said.

"Yellow!" she said.

"Yellow? Did you learn the color yellow?" I asked.

"No yellow," she said. "I got yellow on the stop light."

I looked at her paper. She got in trouble for talking too much. Girl, welcome to the club, I thought. I was always getting called out for talking in class.

"Well, tomorrow you know what?" I said. "You will get a green color on the stoplight. Because you'll have a great day tomorrow. Why? Because I said so!"

We laughed together. It was almost as if we both knew she was going to ask "WHY!"

I walked over to the instructor and she whispered to me, "She is off her medicine!"

Poor girl, she is probably having a hard time adjusting without it.

I looked down at her and she made my heart melt. There she was, smiling up to me and holding my hand. My heart broke. She looked at me like I looked at MY mom when I was kid. She told me last time she doesn't have a mom...

Since she didn't have homework, we made a giant Valentine's Day card for her dad. We found a giant purple elephant to put on it. She named him, "Lemon".

 She was struggling at first to keep attention, but I kept trying to ask her questions and mix up the color of crayon she used. The change kept her on track because she couldn't get bored using the same crayon, writing the same words.

At one point, she stopped writing and put her head down.

"Kayla, what's wrong?" I asked. "Do you feel sick?"

She didn't say anything. She didn't look at me.

"Hey, look at me," I said.

She didn't look at me.

"Kayla, I need you to look at me because I have something important to tell you..."

She hesitated for a minute, but then smiled and looked up.

"I think you're awesome. I think you are smart and I think tomorrow will be a great day for you at school. I believe in you and I am so proud of you. Just always remember what I just said."

She smiled and we finished her card together. And I taught her how to draw hearts. No one had ever taught her how to draw a heart. The simplest shape with the most meaning, and no one ever took the time to teach her how to draw it. I wrapped my hand around hers, and together we drew a heart.

Her message to her dad was adorable:

"Dear Dad, I love you! Lemon loves you too. I think you're great. Happy Valentine's Day. - Kayla 2011"

When tutoring was over, I saw her run over to her dad. She jumped down next to him and handed the card to him. He got a huge smile on his face and opened it, "Dear Dad," he started. He looked down and smiled. Her shoulders were shrugged up like she was nervous and he looked back at the card, "I love you. Lemon loves you..."

It was a moment that I'll always rememeber. The two of them, sitting there, happy - sharing a moment of love. I can only hope they both remember to say "I love you" often.

******

These kids go through so much. And things that you and I would never think of ever wishing for -- they do. My friend Sarah Frey tutors in a homeless shelter through Indy School on Wheels too. She is actually the person who encouraged to me to start tutoring and get involved with SOW.  Sarah told me a story that I want to share you, which truly sums up what these kids wish for on their birthdays.

The student she worked with had a birthday coming up. We aren't allowed to give the students presents or money because they don't want to start anything among the other kids or parents. Its kind of the rule "if you can't give to all, give to none" and the shelter has unqiue rules too. Like no food in their rooms.

Sarah asked the young girl what she wanted for her birthday. Most kids her age would say a Wii, a computer, a cell phone or maybe an iPad. A vacation. Or even a lot of money. Do you know what this young girl asked for? The only thing she wanted....a red shirt.

Just think about that tonight. Be thankful for all that you have and stop worrying about what you WANT to have- chances are you have a red shirt in your closet and don't even think twice about it. So, when your cell phone breaks or you can't order the new iPhone. Or when you are mad you didn't get enough money back on your tax return to take that vacation to Cabo - remember this, there is a girl in the world who wants nothing more than a red shirt. Her very own shirt that may be handed down or bought at a thrift store.

Much love,
Ashley

Be The Inspiration You Want In Life

My running mentor, Meggie Dials, wrote a blog the other day about the exciting running moments in her life. Then she asked others: what is the most exciting running moment in your life? A personal best. An overcoming moment. A record distance. What moment is forever in their hearts as the most inspirational moment in their running journey?

I narrowed it down to two exciting moments.

First, was completing my half marathon race the week I had a terrible bike accident. I literally smashed into a guard rail - scrapped up the right side of my body, bruised my ribs and had physical bruises on my hip. I still have a huge scar on my right arm and knuckles from the first degree burn. I couldn't even breathe putting pressure on my rib, to alleviate the pain. Oh, the pain. It hurt so bad. My entire body was sore. Its truly a hilarious story now, but honestly- I was scared shitless when it first happened, especially since it was thirty feet above a highway. My first thought was my half marathon. My second thought was how I hoped nothing was wrong with my hand. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't write...

By Saturday morning, I was up early and ready to run. Well, ready as anyone in my condition could be...I completed that race in 3 hours with the best running partners a girl could ask for, Brittany Gerig and Sabrina Schnurr. They walked with me when I needed it (which was often) and they encouraged me to keep going when I needed it (which was also often). We did it. Together. And when we crossed the finish line, I was greeted by my amazing husband and beautiful friends.

Yes, I did the stankey legg dance across the finish line. I'll never forget that moment in my life...the photographer probably won't either. And I'll bet the lady in pink behind me will always wonder what in the world I was doing...

 The best running partners, ever!

Second, was completing a mile in under 11 miles. I literally wanted to high five every single person in the gym at that moment, but I was alone. I completed a mile in 10:58 --- When I first started running, I was at a 14-15 minute mile. Maybe my superman T-shirt turned me into a true super hero.

Have you ever heard the quote, "Be the change you want in the world." I've created a slightly modified version: Be the inspiration you want in life. Be motivated. Be inspired to live a healthy and happy life - not only for yourself- but for your loved ones!

Tonight, I decided to inspire myself. In August, I was supposed to run my first race. A 5K - however, my running partner overslept and I had no idea how to get to the race, where it was , how much it cost, etc. I had let her figure everything out. After 30 minutes of sitting outside of her house - calling her phone and knocking on the door- I realized I still had a race to run. I drove back into town and ran my race. The 2010 Ridin' Solo 5K - I joke that I was in the lead the whole time and won the race. I completed 3.10 miles in about 52 minutes, which is about a 17-minute mile. 

Tonight, I completed 3.10 miles in 43 minutes, which is about 14:30. I ran a mile in 12 minutes and then walked an entire mile at an incline of 4.0-6.0 and then finished the last mile on intervals. I was inspired. I had cut nearly 10 minutes off my time and I didn't even run all the way through! 

I'm not sure how much weight I have lost, but I am feeling great. My face looks thinner and my clothes are fitting better. When I had eating disorders, I didn't feel thin. I didn't ever think ANYTHING on my body was smaller. I weighed 159 lbs and my hip bones were sticking out -- and I felt like I weighed 300 lbs with love handles punching people in the face as I walked by. But now, I feel beautiful. I feel confident. I am doing it the right way this time. I simply feel great. And best of all, I believe in myself - which is invaluable. Looking in the mirror, I'm truly happy and satisfied- knowing I am taking baby steps to a giant lifestyle change. Here I am today before my great run and personal best:

You can do anything you put your mind to. Believe in yourself. Have confidence. Challenge yourself. You will truly be inspired by what you can accomplish; if only you put your mind to conquering your dreams.

Much love,
Ashley

COD is NOT A Fish; Its a Way of Life

If you follow me on Facebook, you are probably aware of my photo series that has gained recent popularity. For Christmas, my husband bought "us" an X-Box to play "Dance Central" -- little did I know, he went out and bought Call of Duty. Also known as COD. This is not a fish. This is a way of life. And I am documenting my husband's addiction every single day. Often, I only pick the "best" picture of the day and post it online. But I have a lot more to share. Enjoy.

The very first picture.

 Has he caught me yet? And why is his shirt over his face?

 Hey I can be cute and capture Justin playing COD! Win.

THUMBS UP for my best mile EVERRRR. Babe, are you proud? 

I just did my best mile EVER!!! And Justin was super excited too! Can't you tell?

Looks like the toe touch got Justin's attention for a millisecond + Bandit was proud of me. Look at Bandit's face.

Hot girl, check it.

Hey, he could be at the strip clubs. My life isn't too bad, right?

He is all mine ladies. All. Mine.

Justin - if husbands were boogers, I'd pick YOU! 

 Hey babe- I am going out with my girls tonight. How do I look? Good, okay- well glad to know - I'll take a picture of you playing COD now. What's that, you didn't hear me again? Shocker.

I have him in the palm of my hand.

SAVE ME! I am losing my mind. And Bandit seriously looks like a shark in this picture.

 Why am I wearing this headband inside? 

 I see dead people. On COD.

Quesadilla smile!

 Break dancing! Normal night. Obviously, Bandit is impressed with my life. 

 Bandit wants to know who threw his toy and I am just busting out my scuba dance moves. Justin is not phased by my outfit or moves at all.

Whoooaa man- hear comes a knarly wave. Justin - do you see that out there? Is that shark? Side note: Bandit is giving an extremely side creep stare....lol.

Do you want to help take my wet suit off? Nope. COD wins again.

Nice try, Justin! I caught youuuuu! You can't beat me at my own game. 

I just love this picture for Bandit's face....

 Bandit got us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babe- look at me in my skinny jeans.

He caught me - so he threw his hands up in the air like Miley. 

I call this one...the XBOX brain eater...nom nom nommm.

The hubby went out with the guys. The chair misses him....and I have no one to take pictures of...tear.

Look how many Valentines I found babe!!!! (Not impressed)

Do I look mysterious when I do this babe? (Still not impressed)

 Oh well, I'll just be silly. 

I almost pissed my pants when I took this picture. He heard the sound of the camera going off (I usually turn it off) and he looks like he just broke his mom's favorite lamp and wanted to make sure she wasn't looking. Or he pooped his pants. Or he knew I was taking COD pictures of him. Any of those will work...

Silly faces with Bandit!

 I just love Bandit's tounge in this picture, but yup- Justin is still there...you can see his feet!

He finally got me...and his face is priceless. I must say, Bandit and I are adorable sleeping the same way too. Good job, babe. You can get me at my own game - but I will still win.

Just resting my head on my hubby's lap! Cuddle bugs! :) (not)

Hey babe- look at this booty. Lookin good after 146 miles huh?

I gave him my famous booty dance and he completely overlooked my dance. He said, "BABE!" And it in his head he finished, "Get the heck out of my way because I am on a kill streak and I will be pissed if I die because of you!"

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Much love,

Ashley

Running & Fundraising

I never thought the day would come when I would enjoy running. Let alone the day when I would decide to complete 2,011 miles in a single year. But once I created this goal, I got inspired to do more. Make a difference. I'm pleased to let you know I'm officially on the Start! Running Team for the American Heart Association. My goal is to raise $500 - and if I exceed this goal, I'll continue to raise more money.

Why the American Heart Association? For a number of reasons really, but really it boils down to my Grandpa and the fact that the disease takes so many lives.

My Grandpa Larry's heart stopped working in his sleep. I want to celebrate his life. And while running, I'll fill my mind with great memories of my Grandpa- the only thing I have left. I might cry, but I will also smile remembering our fishing trips and breakfast dates after church. I'll always think of him when I eat oranges or peanuts in bed. I'll always remember that the easiest money I ever earned was giving him a backrubs with a pound of lotion. I'll close my eyes even tighter and remember his laugh and picture his smile. When I do that, I feel his spirit come visit with me in my mind, and more importantly- in my heart.

While he went peacefully, his death is a proven statistic that cardiovascular disease is the number one killer of men and women in the United States. I want to raise money to provide research and education for heart disease.

So with teary eyes, a happy heart and a lot of hope- I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to run. I'm ready to raise money for such an important organization for an issue that really hits home for me. Maybe you too.

I'd be forever grateful for your support, both financially through donations and emotionally through your encouraging words. Every dollar makes a difference and brings me closers to my goal. You can visit my donation page to learn more about my efforts, make a donation and see my progress. Also, online it seems you can only make a donation of $25 or more. To make a donation of $24 or less, please mail checks directly to me. Please call me or message me on Facebook/Twitter/Gmail for more info.

Another way to help me reach my goal: Tomorrow- I will be placing an order for red wristbands that say "Run With Heart" -- I'll be selling them for $3/one or $5/two -- please let me know if you are interested in buying a wristband so I have an idea of how many to purchase! :)


Much love,
Ashley

Celebrate Love Daily

Justin and I never got into the whole Valentine's Day celebration. Sometimes we will make dinner together, but we never spend hundreds of dollars on each other + go out to dinner + drink imported wine from Chile that costs $20 per sip.

In fact, our very first Valentine's Day was hilarious. It was a winter storm (similar to right now) and Ball State had actually closed down the campus. Justin, being the procrastinator that he is, didn't go to the store to get the food to make me dinner. So, he borrowed a co-workers car, drove to the store and then hiked to my house from his dorms. When he arrived, he had roses too.

Then we made dinner together. But really, my only responsibility was to make the Alfredo noodles. It was the bag kind that has the power + you add milk. Let me just tell you, that it ended up being an Alfredo SOUP! It said, add a cup of milk -- so I grabbed a large up from the cabinet, filled it up and dumped it in.

Salmon, steak, steamed veggies, garlic bread and my famous Alfredo soup.

Needless to say, we agreed we'd rather celebrate love daily. For this reason, I was a little shocked when he came up to me on Sunday afternoon and handed me a Valentine. He then ran away like a 7-year-old boy would after he gave his elementary crush a card. He peaked his head around the corner and watched a smile instantly come to my face as I read, "There are 24 more Valentines hidden. Find them all, we go out for dinner (your choice) for V-day. Maybe even a terrible Katherine Heigel movie, too."

I was really sick all weekend. In my office, we had the flu, strep throat and sinus infections going around - I think I got the lucky combination of all three.

I started to search around the house and found my first one, "To: My Soulmate." Each Valentine had a different name for me. I would get so excited to open up the Valentine and see what word or nickname he picked to describe me. My heart melted nearly every single time and a few times I laughed out loud.

• To: My Inspiration
• To: My Facebook Whore
• To: My Best Friend
• To: My Boo
• To: My Future Author
• To: My 1 & Only
• To: Miss New Booty
• To: Mommy (from paw print aka Bandit) - I found this one in Bandit's treats! :)
• To: My 1 Love From: Justin (Bieber)
• To Future Mommy From: Cooper
• To Future Mommy From : Avery

These are just a few of my favorites.

"Babe, I don't even know how I can be sick when I am this happy!" I said to him and grabbed his hand while driving to my work meeting. He looked over at smiled at me, lifted my hand to his lips and kissed them.

***

This morning, I was getting ready to leave for work and I asked Justin to make me coffee.

"Why don't you make ME coffee?" He asked.

"UMMMM hello- I have to go to work. I don't get a snow day! So will you please make me coffee?" I said with a snarky tone, bitter about traveling to work in these weather conditions.

He smiled and said, "No- why don't you make the coffee?"

"Justin, I haveeeee toooo gooooo toooo," and then the light bulb went off. That's where the "hard to find" Valentine was hidden.

I rushed over and found it in the coffee maker.

"And since I forgot where I hid the other one, you win!" Justin said.

"WHOAAA!!! I am so excited! I won!"

"Yeah, but I helped you..." he said.

I gave him a kiss and skipped off to work. But when I think of it, I am not surprised about his cute gesture. This is simply part of our agreement, to celebrate love daily.

Much love,
Ashley