I broke a promise. A promise that I made to myself.... to only weigh myself once a month.
I've concluded that cheese + lactose makes me sick / bloated / and otherwise hating life. It's official, but I am in denial. And since cheese and ranch are two of my primary food groups, I've felt like crap the past week. My pants weren't fitting right. My stomach was constantly in pain. Overall, I felt discouraged about my body.
So, why in my right mind would I ever consider weighing myself? Well, I did.
I flushed the toilet so Justin wouldn't hear me grab the scale from under the sink. I turned on the water so he couldn't hear the sigh I might let out. You know you have problems when you are making noise to hide other noises.
I made a promise to only weigh myself once a month. I made a promise to not get caught up in the scale.
I watched as the number went up. Not down.
I closed my eyes praying to see something change. A smaller number.
Why am I getting so caught up in this number?
Wow. My heart sank.
215 miles and only .5 lbs lost?
Or am I just that bloated that I am retaining 5 lbs of water weight?
Who knows? Either way, I shouldn't have broke the promise I made to myself to stay off the scale.
I let out a deep sigh. I was bummed, but I realized its time to change my eating habits. I've already got the working out thing down, next up - eating habits. I am not going to say "I am going on a diet" - because I am not. I am just going to try to make healthier decisions that will carry out for the rest of my life. I'll still eat dips at parties and cake at weddings (in moderation), but I just can't do that every single day. So my new decisions? Green tea in the morning instead of coffee. Grilled chicken or fish for lunch instead of brown rice and a cheese w/ veggie up quesadilla. Fruit for snacks. Beef jereky instead of energy drinks for fuel.
Justin walked in and saw me, "Hey cutie! You look nice today!"
"That's not what the scale says, butttt...." I said and then he interrupted me.
"You weighed yourself?" He asked. "You know not to do that...well, we will just have to start eating better. And I hate to say this, but you gotta get off the cheese."
Cheese is my drug. It's like he read my mind. It made me smile. He knows my addictions. Cheese and ranch. I guess it could be worse, but time to get serious.
This weekend I went shopping with Justin. I was disappointed at first because I didn't find anything that I could justify spending money on. The old Ashley, who didn't have a husband that knew everything about fiances, would buy anything and everything if it was on sale. Or even if I liked it just a little bit.
Now, I evaluate everything. Is the fabric too thin? If it was on sale, I hear Justin say in my head, "It's probably on sale for a reason!"
Disappointed, I headed into my new, favorite section. Active wear. I grabbed shorts, capris and two workout t-shirts from FILA. All on sale! Even better, size Large! See you later XL. The scale might be evil, but my waist line isn't. I'm glad to see results in places that matter the most.
So while I was sad about the evil scale, I learned a valuable lesson. Keep your promises. Always. My new theory is a health lifestyle: eating right and working out ....will get me to the place I want to be in life. And give me the health I need in life.
You see, you make promises for a reason. And at the end of the day, you want to make sure you are the best person that you can possibly be - and you don't want anything (like a number on the scale) getting in the way of that...