"If you don't use it, you lose it."
I've learned this lesson the hard way. The holidays came...and so did the weight gain. The vacation started...and so did the laziness. I was really good at working out for the first two days, but then I got sick. I could barely breathe and sleeping became the activity of choice.
And much to my surprise, by New Year's Eve...I was topping the scales. The EXACT SAME WEIGHT that I started at the year before...
I spent 3 solid minutes in the bathroom crying. Listening to people say, "Where is Ashley?"
Bawling my eyes out...that is where...I busted my ass and threw it all away at the end.
I stepped on the scale and then off again.
The number was the same.
That damn haunting number was the same...
So, I came out of the bathroom bummed. I walked up to Justin and said, "I'm so upset...the scale said I weigh 236 again."
He looked me straight in the eyes and told me what I've known all along, "Only you can change that.."
Sure, I was bloated.
Sure, I was drinking.
Sure, it was the end of the day.
But that is still unacceptable.
I literally just threw all my hardwork out the window and let December defeat me.
For this reason, I did not post a before and after picture from Jan. 1, 2011 to Jan. 1, 2012. What would be different? What is so inspirational about zero pounds?
So I was depressed.
So, I didn't know what to write about..didn't know what pictures to post..and didn't know how to admit to everyone how I royally bombed.
But did I bomb?
Did I really consider 2011 a failure?
I did 2 half marathons, 3 5K races and countless other miles. I hiked up a mountain with Justin and tried to run up a mountain top on our vacation.
I lost inches.
I fit into new sizes- going from a size 16 (almost 18) to a SIZE 12-14!!!!!
I joined a gym.
I ran my fastest mile at 9:51.
I did not fail in 2011. I just wasn't committed. I wasn't motivated to transform my diet...because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many miles I run if I am shoving high fat & high carb meals in my face every single day.
I made a decision on Saturday to stop letting food control my life.
I made a decision to keep a food journal.
And have a goal....last year, I just wanted to get healthy. This year, I don't want to obsess over a number, but I do want to lose 50 lbs. I want to weigh 185 lbs again.
|Our first picture together. 50 lbs ago.|
She will be back this year.
But it's not just about changing the number on the scale, it's about changing my life. It's about living longer so I can see my future children grow old...and I mean- I really do want to be that awesome grandma running races and doing triathlons with her grandkids.
So in order to kick off 2012, I decided to let YOU all inspire me. Motivate me. Encourage me. And more importantly, keep me accountable!
I posted this Facebook status last night:
Thank you Annette and Dan for pushing me to kick off this goal. And for the other 75 of you, I'm coming after you...one mile at a time!