I Used Everything You Gave Me

I ate lunch alone today.

Which is fine. 

Sometimes I find it refreshing to get an hour to myself.

I had every intention of reading 50 Shades of Gray, but when I looked at the pages...I just saw a pile of words.

I couldn’t concentrate.

Even though I was in Carmel, Indiana enjoying the salad bar at Jason’s Deli, my mind was miles away.

Over the weekend, my Grandma Sieb and Aunt Juli complimented me on my recent blog post, "No Time Is Long Enough."

“You really are evolving as a writer,” Aunt Juli said. “When I read your last post, I thought to myself, ‘She really is going to write a book one day!’”

Her kinds words were music to my ears.

Tell me I’m beautiful, I’ll certainly smile. Depending on the day, I might actually believe you.

Tell me I’m a beautiful writer, my day is complete.

“You really wrote from your heart,” Grandma Sieb added. “Your post was just absolutely beautiful. I’m sure you inspired a few people to look  at the small things in life more often.”

But writing from my heart has been so difficult lately.

These past few months, I’ve felt so unbalanced.

Overwhelmed.

Stressed.

Irritated.

Discouraged.

Scared.

Unsettled.

I feel like I've lost touch with who I once was...

Am I too young to have a mid-life crisis?

Probably.

As I was trying to answer all of the world’s problems – well the problems in my own world - I came across a photo on Instagram that said:

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"


I stared at the screen....letting the quote sink in.

Reflecting on my own life.

Disclaimer: I'm not an overly religious person. I can't many quote bible verses word-for-word. So, some might even say I'm more spiritual than religious. But I love my God and I believe we all have a purpose in this lifetime. And I pray. Although, I'll admit I should pray and count my blessings more often.

But the quote got me thinking...Am I really giving and using all of the talent's that God gave me?

One of my talents is writing.

I love sharing stories. 

I love inspiring people through my stories.

I love connecting people together through my experiences and life musings.

I love helping others by sharing advice and lessons learned.

I love making a difference in someone's life through my words.

So, I've decided to dust off this blog...and start writing more. The past few months I've been nervous to write. I didn't have many happy, inspiring or motivating stories to share because I was emotionally exhausted.

Maybe someone will find inspiration in my struggles (not just my victories)?

Maybe someone can learn from my mistakes?

And maybe, I can difference in someone's life by being honest with my own emotions and challenges.

But no matter what, I'll be using every bit of talent God gave me.

Much love,
Ashley