Happy

Throwback Thusrday: Cooper as a Teddy Graham

Sleepy boy.

Ready to start a dance party.

I honestly can't wait to meet this dude.

Much love,
Ashley

Inside My Own Mind

Writing these blog posts are always so difficult.

I stumble over finding the right words. I write a few sentences and then delete everything.

I struggle with what to share and what to keep to myself.

I realize I’ve been quiet lately on my blog the last few weeks.

You’ve probably wondered if I am busy.

Or simply you question if I am simply ignoring you.

Or maybe I have nothing to say.

But those are not the reasons...

You see, writing this blog means I live a very public and open life. I am often brutally honest in my writing – about how I am feeling.

I mean, you guys know more about my weight struggles than my doctor. And you guys know my actual weight better than the BMV (although, this last time I didn’t lie!!).

And sometimes- being open and honest is hard. It means I have to admit defeat and difficult times. And share stories that aren’t full of rainbows, my little ponies, and sunshine.

Many exciting things have occurred over the last few weeks.

Justin celebrated his 26th birthday.

We celebrated our third year in marriage.

I heard Baby Sieb’s heartbeat again.

We booked a trip to Vegas in July (future blog post coming soon).

But these past weeks have been hard weeks.

Weeks that I’ve found so incredibly hard to get through with my sanity intact.

I try not to bring other people (especially my family and marriage) and work into my blog posts.

Number one, I don’t think it’s fair for me to share personal stories of others. And then you would only be hearing one side of the story, which would be mine.

 And number two, I hardly ever blog or post things about work (unless it's more on the positive side).

It’d be different if my blog was geared toward my profession – or other marketing professionals. But these are stories of my life…mainly my personal life.

And having my personal life separate from my work life is very important. 

In fact, I think people are CRAZY when they post terrible things about their job, boss, or company in general. Social media and the Internet don’t forget things…and don’t think that you’ll be fine if you vent and then delete your post. The world is full of screen capture tools these days…

So while I won’t go into detail about the crazy, emotional draining aspects of life lately, I’ll leave you with these cliff hangers:

Work is exhausting. It really is...And I honestly love my job. I am VERY blessed to work with such creative and supportive people.

But lately I’ve just found myself running in circles.

Am I focusing on the right things?

Will this ever end?

What should I tackle next?
Which is more important?

Everything is important.

And everything has a deadline of yesterday.

Usually, I pride myself on my organizational and prioritization skills. But when everything is important and every was due five seconds ago, I’m just struggling with finding balance and peace in juggling with work.

It will be fine.

I will be fine.

I’m just…overwhelmed.

And then there is marriage. When Justin and I found our bridal showers, our guests would fill out advice cards. I actually still have them at home. I found them last night while cleaning up the bookshelf.

I was overwhelmed with the amount of “negative” comments we received. Not negative in the sense that people wrote “RUN FOR THE HILLS AND NEVER LOOK BACK!”

But people would always say things like:

Don’t go to bed angry – talk it out!

Would there be lots of angry nights ahead of us?

Don’t stop holding hands in public- try not to lose the passion that brought you together in the first place.

Would we be passionless souls one day? Simply two roomates living in the same house- sharing bills and waiting for the microwave while one person made pizza rolls and the other person warmed up canned soup?

Marriage is the hardest job you’ll ever have, but it’s worth it (most of the time).

You mean there is something worse than getting yelled at back angry restaurant patrons or sick patients? How is marriage a job? Isn’t it supposed to be filled with love and romance and long nights cuddling next to a fire place?

I guess what I am saying is I had no idea how true these statements would be…

And you know why?

Because you are two completely different people.

Coming together as one.

Different beliefs.

Different perceptions.

Different ideas of clean vs. dirty.

And in our current case, different opinions on timelines and due dates.

We celebrated our three year anniversary on May 15th. I wanted to blog about that too – all of the moments we’ve shared along the way.

All of the laughs.

The tears.

The adventures.

The memories.

I shared those thoughts in Justin’s card. And while even over the last few days, we’ve had our differences.

We’ve had a few bumps in our road.

We got through them.

We talked about them.

We taught each other lessons.

We hopefully inspired each other to change or be more open minded about the other person’s “side” on the matter.

Those people weren’t lying in the advice cards.

Marriage is hard.

Marriage is work. I mean, really- really hard work.

Marriage is a full-time job.

Marriage requires commitment and strong will to never give up.

Because at the end of the day, you will have troubles with anyone you marry. Simply because you are different people trying to live one life.

But if you remain faithful, positive, always communicate, and HAVE FUN – you’ll be fine. You’ll get through the bumps in the roads.

Justin and I don’t have it all figured out – but who really does? Sometimes people tell us we are the “perfect couple” and I laugh – because that’s far from true.

 Even though I’m a perfectionist, I will be the first to admit we have our flaws and work for improvement. Both of us. We are just two imperfect people trying to build a  happy life together. And raise a son together in a few short months!!

I really had no clue what I was going to say today.

I just started writing…just started pouring out my thoughts. I feel better already. I feel like I am coming to peace with a few long, exhausting, and emotional weeks.

So, where have I been?

Inside my own mind. 

But I'm ready to come back out! I'm ready to write more and just share stories - big or small.

Writing is my therapy.

And when I am stuck inside my own mind, I forget how to cope.

I forget how to move on.

I forget that writing is the key to moving forward. 

I'm happy. Today is a new day. You have nothing to worry about. Justin and I are just the normal married couple - trying to figure out life and each every other day single day.

But I suppose what will make us different is that we don't give up so easy.

We talk it out.

And cry. Well, I cry - as often as I need.

Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe it's just me. Either way...

Remember to love hard and always try to forgive.

Much love,
Ashley

Boys Hate Belly Bombs

Yesterday, I had an entertaining and hilarious glimpse into my future at my nephew's first T-ball game.

I loved watching the kids run all over the field.

They would get SO excited when they hit the ball and then (usually) have no clue where to run.

The kids in the outfield would ALL go after the ball. There were like 15 shortstops.

It was outstanding.

And Braxen did such a great job.

He even hit the ball on the second try (without the tee).

What a stud.

When Braxen was on on third base, one of the many kids around the base yelled over to his dad, "HEY DAD!"

"Yeah buddy?" The dad replied back.

"Guess what today is?" The little guy said.

"What's that?" His dad asked.

"I get my video games back today!" The boy said with such excitement.

Oh boys.

So funny.

So between listening to the hilarious kids and watching their excitement to be playing on a team for the first time, I had a great morning.

I asked Braxen if he would take a picture with me.

"Yeah!" He said, excitement to get all the attention.

"Alright," I said. "I'll have you kiss my belly too!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" He said with the most terrified look on his face.

He ran away and hid behind a tree.

I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard.

Eventually Braxen agreed to take a picture with everyone EXCEPT for me!

So I decided to photobomb his picture with my mom.

Cooper's first photo bomb.

Later that day, he told my sister, "I'm not kissing Aunt Ashley's belly! And I don't appreciate her belly bombing my pictures."

I couldn't stop laughing.

Thankfully, at breakfast this morning he came running up to me and gave me a giant hug while he said, "Happy Mother's Day!!!"

It completely melted by heart.

"Do you want to give kiss my belly today then?"

Sarah and Will (my sister and brother-in-law) both said at the same time, "NO! Don't seriously...he won't stop talking about that!"

Well, seems like boys hate belly bombs.

So clearly, I can't wait until my next opportunity to belly bomb him!

I can't wait to be a mom.

And embarrass Cooper on a daily basis.

Much love,
Ashley

Favorite Outfit Friday: May 10

I will admit- adjusting to a number on a scale that exceeds what I ever dreamed of going over + fitting into sizes I've never seen before is difficult.

But you know what?!

I am growing a human.

I love my bump.

And I really really love my little Cooper.

Yesterday I went on a bit of a shopping spree because nothing fits me anymore. I think I wore that black maxi dress 4 times in 9 days!

And we ALL know the damage a maxi dress can cause if you aren't wearing leggings, biker shorts, or Body Glide!

I felt a little guilty so I confessed the damage to Justin before he would see the amount on our account.

And this is what he said: "As long as you are cute, comfy, and happy!"

So I cried like a fool in the parking lot of Motherhood Maternity. That can't be the first time a woman broke down in that particular parking lot! Right?

So today, I am embracing my bump.

Loving my big belly.

And counting my blessings that I can experience the miracle of life each day!

 

Much love,

Ashley

Making Healthy Snacks Fun

If you come to one of Cooper's birthday parties, you can expect to have some healthy treats like this spread out.

Much love,
Ashley

Never Trust a Girl If Her Thighs Don't Touch

I decided to travel with style yesterday. I wore my black maxi dress, black and white stripped cover up, and adorable sandals.

As I was walking through the airport, I immediately realized I forgot to pack an extremely important item: body glide (aka the anti-chaffing miracle worker).

At first, my rubbing thighs didn't bother me. However, once Britt picked us up from the airport and we started walking to the burger joint - I was in big time pain.

Now, I did pat down my big ol' thighs with some baby powder before we left, but that only lasted about 35 seconds before the chaffing took over my life.

"Babe, I am not sure if I can make it," I said to Justin.

He started laughing.

"You got this!" He said, encouraging me to fight through the pain.

I would make him stop every few blocks so I could separate my legs and give myself a break.

"Will you be embarrassed if I put my dress between my legs and try to walk?" I asked him.

"Do what you gotta do!" J said back

That was a bad idea. And I looked ridiculous, so I gave up.

After about a mile (the longest mile of my life probably), Justin said, "We should be here."

I looked around with no signs of the burger joint...

Thankfully, it was just a block up the road!

I started giving myself an internal pep talk, "You have done five half marathons - you can make it!!"

Once we got there, I rushed to the bathroom trying to think of something to relieve the pain.

I tossed down my bag and cover up on the ground and rushed to the kitchen sink to apply cold water to my burning thighs.

Is this real life?

As I went to pick up my bag, I realized the toilet was leaking. My new Vera Bradley backpack was soaked with piss water.

"You have got to be kidding me," I screamed so loud the kitchen staff probably heard me.

Then I picked up my cover up, which was also completely soaked.

I did the walk of shame to my table am found Justin sitting there drooling over which burger to order.

I told him what happened and he started laughing- this really is just another day in my life full of awkwardness and bad luck.

"Hey, I live by your theory," Justin said. "Never trust a girl if her thighs don't touch."

We both laughed and I went to eat a French fry.

Side note- I asked for ranch dressing to dip my fries in and the server thought I was crazy + told me they don't have ranch dressing...must be a Midwest thing!

Then my inner-self started talking, "Your thighs touch because you eat burgers with bacon and fries."

I looked at Justin, who was smiling at me and said, "How is everything?"

"Wonderful," I said.

I'm on vacation.

I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant.

I picked up another fry and popped it into my mouth.

My thighs will always touch. And that's fine. My self-worth is not measured by the size of my thighs.

So we enjoyed our first lunch in DC and I waddled (literally, waddled) my way to CVS.

"Where is the chaffing cream?" I moaned with desperation.

"Do they have a big thigh section!?" Justin asked.

Oh yeah, right next to the big booty isle, J!!

I gave up and found some lotion - this will get me home!!

"Where are you going to put that on?" Justin asked.

"A dark alley, a bush - I don't care!" I said.

Thankfully, a Dunkin Donuts was across the street so I ran into the bathroom.

What a relief.

So, what we did we learn yesterday?

Never travel without body glide.

Don't walk 1.5 miles in a maxi dress.

And never trust a girl if her thighs don't touch.

Final side note: If your thighs don't touch, I am only kidding. Good for you - now go eat a burger and fries (with ranch dressing ).

Much love,
Ashley

PS I am blogging from my cell phone, so please excuse any extra typos and the lack of pictures!