Well, I'm Alive and the Beef Jerky Was Good...

Today was the first time that we actually used scuba gear. Prior to that, we were using a snorkel with goggles and fins. After scuba diving class today, I only have two positive things to say.

One- I am alive.

Two- I did some emotional eating after my failure of a class and the beef jerky was fantastic!

So why was my scuba diving excursion so tragic, you may ask?

Before I get into the story, I want to tell you what Brad King told me today prior to my scuba diving class! P.S. Brad King you make my life more inspiring and entertaining and I'm so glad I got to be part of your time at Ball State University! :)

We were talking about my eager bride story and he described my personality to the core.

"Ashley, you are like a hyperactive chihuahua," he said throwing his hands and body in the air. "People tell you to do something and before they can even tell you to go -- you are already half way there without a clue what are really supposed to do!" LOL SOOOO true!!!

I get excited. I get eager. I get rushed.

And I take off balls to the wall.

So while you are reading this story. Just imagine me. The lost chihuahua at the bottom of the pool, covered in scuba equipment, hating life.

The class was divided into two groups. My group went second so I could watch everyone else learn the skills and how to use scuba before I jumped into the pool.


Then the moment of truth. I walked over to the scuba equipment floating in the water. Scared, I looked down and didn't know what to expect.

Just breathe -- breathe normally, I told myself.

So I put everything on and I was shaking. I didn't know if I was shaking from the cold water or nerves. Later, my nerves would ruin my day.


There are so many things that go into scuba diving --- its ridiculous. The amount of air in your lungs and air in your BC vest can make you float and floating means you aren't sinking -- which means you aren't scuba diving.

I was floating.

Fail.

"Ashley, do you have all the air out in your BC?" Carol asked me.

"Yeah I think so," I said and then pushed the button and no air came out.

"Well then you need to wear a water weight," she said.

I swam over to get the belt and didn't remember how to put them on...you have to hold it on one side of your body and lay back and roll over and tie it under water --- seems a little difficult for something that should be easy.

I tried five times and couldn't get it on. She was laughing and looked at me with a pathetic look on her face.

"Everyone else swim to the deep in and practice," Carol said. "Ashley, you stay up here and put the belt on and practice in shallow water first."

Yayyyy!!! I love being the only one in scuba class to not get something.

Being positive, this makes me one of a kid, but in reality I was pissed.

I hate not getting things. I hate being bad at something.

So I finally got the belt on and I took off. Breathing was really weird. At least I was breathing like a crazy person. I didn't have my breathing under control at all. Then I got it. I got in the rhythm and it rocked. So I swam down to the deep and had fun. For a short minute.

We cleared our masks (I got it this time) and then back to the deep in.

Slight problem. I wasn't sinking. So I started to get hyped up, like the little snarky dog that I truly represent.

So I started kicking and tried to swim my way down. I looked like a spaz.

Everyone else was peaceful just sitting on the bottom. Literally just sitting there. Probably watching me taking guesses on if I was on Ecstasy or Coke --- either one would fit my frantic personality.

"Ashley, calm down and let alllll the air out of your BC! You aren't sinking. Relax," Carol said.

Well of course I am not sinking. I am aware of this fact. I am the ONLY ONE not sinking.

"Maybe you need two weights Ashley," she said and walked over to get me another belt.

As I started to put the other belt on, I pulled my leg again and gave myself a very very very painful charlie horse.

"OUCH!" I screamed and my ventilator blew out of my mouth.

"Ashley -- put your ventilator on!" Carol said.

She was probably sick of telling me this because she told me this twice before when I was trying to put on my first weight and also another time.

Just as she said that, I started to stretch my leg to work out my charlie horse. Then weight started to drag me down. The ventilator wasn't fully in my mouth and I finally, FINALLY was sinking at the worst time possible.

My face is half-way out of the water. My leg is immobile and in a lot of pain and I am finally going down to the bottom. I ended up hitting the bottom of the pool like a rock. Everyone was probably thinking, "About time!!!"

I was thinking the same thing.

Holy mac and cheese, I've finally got it.

Carol only had to tell me to calm down 42 times.

I went up to her after class and said, "Carol, I'm sorry. And I also want to thank you for not giving up on me."

She smiled and said, "You will get the hang of it as soon as you calm down and relax. I bet you won't even need two weights when you finally relax."

At least she believes in me. Maybe I should start believing in me....

When I got home and told Justin the story he was dying laughing. He loved the way Brad King described my personality and he pissed himself picturing me in the pool trying to get to the bottom by swimming instead of sinking.

He reminded me again about a kid in his class tried to swim (instead of peacefully sinking) down on scuba the first time...the mentally challenged guy.

Sigh.

Well, I guess that's the attribution I deserve.

"I mean, I won't hold it against you if you don't get certified," Justin said. "But, just know that even the mentally challenged guy got certified."

All I can do is laugh. He means well and I know he is trying to push me.

Scuba isn't easy. But being stressed out and in hurry doesn't help. Its supposed to be a relaxing sport and hobby....I wonder if I can ever relax.

I'll try. But the in the mean time, I'll be practicing in the bath tub and the gym pool.

Watch out underwater world, here I come. Maybe.....

Much love,
Ashley