"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega
I locked myself in my sister's room. It was her graduation party and I had a surprise brewing.... Since I completely enjoy being the center of attention - I told her I would dress up in one of her old viking outfits. I'd tell people by name was "Olga" and I was here for the entertainment.
But to my surprise (not) - her outfit didn't fit me. This makes sense consider how she weights about 90 lbs less than me.
I tried every possible way to fit into that thing, but it simply wasn't going to happen. Feet in first. Over the head. Sideways even...nothing worked - so I gave up.
That's when I looked over and noticed the scrapbook she made for her senior English class. I saw it after her graduation ceremony, but didn't get a chance to look through all of the pictures and read it.
The theme was about friendships --- friendships of a lifetime. She wrote about great friendships, distant friendships, lost friendships and finally - family friendships. I felt so inspired....she is such a beautiful artist.
I loved reading her stories. My heart broke a few times when she mentioned lost and faded friendships, but I reminded myself that is part of life...and those heartbreaks only makes you stronger...and allow you to love harder in the future....
I finally got to the last page where she wrote about her future plans 10 years from now.
"To be honest, I don't know where I'll be in 10 years....I will go to Ball State and probably be like my older sister and change my major every year."
I loved it. I couldn't help but smile.... and feel proud at the same time. As a big sister, I often question if I was the best example for her growing up...I know that I wasn't around a lot -- most of my time outside of school was spent with my friends or working. Then- I moved away to college and got even busier with work, school and adventures with my friends. As I sit here and type this blog, I truly question how time has flown by so quickly --- wasn't she just five-years-old yesterday?
I hope with all my heart that she looks up to me as sister....I hope that she knows how much I love her...and I hope she believes me when I say that I wish I would have spent more time watching her grow up....more time cheering her on during her basketball game...more dinners together...more movie nights at home...more late nights together telling stories and asking questions about life....but since I can't change the past, I shall focus on living in the moment - right now - to make more memories to share in the future.
I do know she at least looked up to me enough to copy my crazy tube sock fashion statements...
|I can't decide which is worse, my hair or tube socks?|
|Proud to wear her tube socks like her big sister! :)|
And I hope she realizes how much I value her as my sister and friend - as she stood beside me on my wedding day.
But really -the fact that Cierra said that she would probably be "like me" is an honor. Because she is such a strong and amazing young woman. She has been through a lot in her life and she is barely 18 years old...I admire her strength and courage. I'm so proud of her and I know she'll do amazing things at Ball State --- even if she does change her major 42 times like her older sister.
A few more pictures I love that illustrate the family jokes, joys and moments that allow us to live outside the touch of time....
|Holding baby Cierra :)|
|Cierra proudly posing in her favorite room of the house (as she was the little Iron Chef in the family)|
|Always helping mom :)|
|Showing off our big muscles ;)|
|one of my favorite Saturday afternoon ever with my family :)|
|Cierra and Grandpa Larry <3|
|I love Cierra's face and Sarah's hair! :)|
|Seeing a girl this little eat that big of a doughnut HAS to make you smile! :)|
|I love that Devin is the one pulling Cierra....she learned early on to make the boys work for her ;)|
|Cierra is holding her picture in the paper...when she was recognized for her artwork.|
|She cut her own bangs...the day before family pictures. I'm obsessed. Seriously.|
|This is one of her amazing drawings / paintings from high school.|
|With mom today, I love them both beyond words.|
|My baby sister and me today....who isn't that much of a baby anymore.|
Ashley aka One Proud Big Sister!