July 4, 2011
Writing is my crack. I can't go a day without writing. A journal entry- Facebook status - a hand written note - an email - a press release - a blog post - a text- it doesn't matter; I need writing in my daily life. So when we left for vacation with no computer or journal, I knew I wouldn't make it long.
|The journal I got an hour into our trip from the Dollar Store.|
I passed the time drinking Starbucks and reading Chelsea Handler's new book, which always inspires me to write a book one day. And I know I will.
|My favorites. End of story.|
Not long into the drive, Justin pulled over to the side of the road and turned on his hazards.
"Um- what are you doing?" I asked. "I can enter the address, you know."
"Well- I am entering GPS coordinates- not an actual address," he said.
GPS coordinates? Oh my....Right then, I realized why I never watch scary movies; I'm about to star in one. I was definitely stereotyping, but I imagined a man with missing teeth wearing jean overhauls with no under shirt and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I was thinking of the movies "Delievrance" and "Wrong Turn" and trying even harder to forget I ever heard of those movies...
"I really don't think you understand where we are going Ash,"Justin said laughing and studying the look on my face.
No, I don't. Where is the beach? I'm hitchhiking after the next exit.
We barely made it 45 minutes into the trip before I had to pee. Like a child, I didn't pee before we left the house. Yes, Justin reminded me of this child-like mistake. But, I informed him the Starbucks didn't help because it quickly went through my system.
We pulled over at the next gas station. It is a tragedy I wasn't wearing the GoPro into the gas station because this crowd was truly unbelievable. I prayed for my safety was I approached the jail-cell looking doors.
To my surprise, the gas station suddenly turned into a fried chicken shop. I've never seen that much fried chicken in my life- not even at KFC. Not to mention, they were selling buckets of nacho cheese with the fried chicken. Interesting combination.
The cashiers looked at me as if I was an illegal alien and I searched frantically for the bathroom. I spotted a door with a large sign on it just past the giant chicken deep fryer.
The note said:
"ATTENTION: THIS IS A PUBLIC RESTROOM! THIS IS NOT A PLACE FOR YOU TO DO ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES! ALSO, ONE PERSON IN THE BATHROOM AT A TIME."
Instantly I had a few questions running through my head:
- How many people were doing "illegal substances" in this bathoom?
- Is this an every day occurrence?
- At what point do you decide to post this note?
- Every hour?
- Did one person ruin it for all the other crackheads?
- How many people tried to fit into this bathroom at the same time?
I tried to find my phone to take a picture of all of this, but I left it in the car. Of course.
As I walked out of the bathroom, everyone watched me leave. So I smiled and wipped my nose.
"We have to get the hell out of here!" Justin said immediately once I got into the car. "I thought I was going to have come in and save you. And why do you smell like fried chicken?"
Until my next adventure....