You would think I was calling an ex-boyfriend.
But I wasn't.
I was calling a man, but I didn't know him by name.
But he knew me by order. I was calling the Chinese restaurant.
Even though my order isn't SUPER unhealthy (shrimp and broccoli with white rice), I knew it was just taking a few steps back. A few steps back to old habits of eating out without thinking twice about it.
And then I remembered...
Yesterday I said I would start today.
"I'll do better tomorrow."
"I'll eat better tomorrow."
"I'll run tomorrow."
No. Not tomorrow.
"I am going to start right now," I said out loud in my car.
And with that, I drove past Taco Bell (which can I tell you how desperately I wanted a chicken quesadilla) to Meijer.
Strawberries, bananas and pineapple for my side.
And for the main course? A buffalo chicken wrap - made with grilled chicken, bleu cheese crumbles, lettuce and tomato with a splash of light mayo.
I came home and cooked dinner myself (for those of you who do not know- the fact that I cooked another other than boxed mac & cheese with hotdogs is a huge accomplishment).
I've been playing wife all weekend since Justin is poor sick, which completely breaks my heart. I'd do anything to trade places with him, mainly because I'm certain he has lost 8 lbs in the last two days. The flu diet works like a charm.
This morning, I woke up and had a Jimmy Dean D-light breakfast sandwich.
Only 210 calories.
The old Ashley would have begged Justin to take me out to breakfast. And no, I am not the type to order fresh fruit and toast without butter. So that 210 calories is a perfect change of my pace for my diet.
Lunch was at Panera with Justin. We literally went to 3 places in desperate search of Chicken Noddle soup, which is all that Justin has eaten in about 48 hours (minus a few fruit Popsicles). And he still only had only a few bites. Poor guy...
And for me? Well, I passed up my weakness (broccoli and cheddar soup). Instead, I ordered black bean soup and a side salad. 370 calories. The panni I usually always order is almost 800 calories. I'd consider that a good change of pace.
I was proud. And while driving home, I had to vocalize my proudness (if that's even a word).
"I'm going to do this you know," I said to Justin, who looked like he was going to puke out the window. "I'm bringing sexy back!!"
"You will baby," he said- trying to smile. "I believe in you."
And at that moment, I was extremely thankful.
Thankful that I have such a loving and supporting husband.
He was so weak, tired and sick - but he still made an effort to comfort me.
To make me feel better.
Later on, I went for a run in my new running shoes.
In case you are wondering, they are Brooks Trance #11. I AM IN LOVE! I felt like I was flying on my run (I did half my run at the YMCA and half it outside with Bandit).
|Meet Elvis. I mean Bandit, my running partner.|
I feel refreshed.
I feel happy.
I feel like me again.
Maybe I'm not bringing sexy back.
But I'm definitely bringing Ashley back.