I Close My Eyes and Think of You

"I'm able to run my entire route without stopping now," my friend Sabrina told me last Friday.

"That's amazing!" I said. "I'm SO proud of you!"

"You want to know my secret?" she said.

"Obviously!" I said, smiling. 

"When I want to stop and give up, I close my eyes and think of you. I picture you crossing the finish line of your half marathons. It works every time!"

I smiled and part of me wanted to cry- because you know I'm good at that...but her story really touched my heart.

And I was filled with so much joy and happiness- knowing that when she is searching and digging deep to stay strong...she thinks of ME!

Me?

I was over the moon...

I've reminded myself of Sabrina and her story at least 40 times this week.

This week has been tough.

I'm hungry CONSTANTLY!

Literally, I was at the doctors office on Wednesday and I could hear my stomach grumbling over the Christmas music. And one time, a lady looked me as if I was about to birth a small cheese cube.

I MISS my Diet Coke.

I CRAVE cheese like a man craves sex (aka I think about cheese every 3 seconds). 

Just when I was about to have another break down, my friend Hannah sent me a message on Twitter.

She said:

"Just wanted to let you know I am beginning a fitness odyssey of my own and tonight I found out I lost my first three pounds! I've been reading your blog and getting lots of inspiration from you! When I am wheezing on the treadmill trying to run half a mile (not a joke) ...I think, "Ashley ran a f#!$ing MARATHON Hannah get your ass in gear" and it legit helps me keep going...So, I know you are always getting inspired by super fit people of your own, like your trainer, but I just wanted to let you know that you are MY super fit inspiration! THE END."  

Wait, did she have the right, Ashley?

Me?

That's the second person this week who made me feel like the happiest person in the world!

I wanted to reach through my computer and give Hannah the BIGGEST hug in the world.

Her message came at the most perfect time...

And to know, that she considers me her SUPER fit inspiration?

I'm just a chubby girl trapped in a skinny girls' mind. 

And Hannah thinks I am super fit?

I spent the rest of the evening smiling...

THEN I got this message the next afternoon from my friend Hillary:

"So, I came across a couple of blogs last Spring that I've saved on my laptop for when I decided I was going to finally "lose the weight." Not sure if you've heard of www.mamalaughlin.com, but she is freaking hilarious, and I think you might like her. It screams, "Bedwell" to me..

Also, this http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/Mademenus .. this girl has all of these menu options already made up, I think this is going to help me a lot. I know how to eat healthy, I'm fully aware, I just don't. And I don't make good decisions. And I feel awful and pathetic about it, but I think it's here... the DESIRE to finally get HEALTHY.

Which also brings me to you, your blogs, posts, etc. Such an inspiration, you are.. So glad I have someone awesome to look up to and relate to in different ways!

Hope you're having a great day! And hope you haven't been thinking about pepper jack cheese cubes dipped in ranch all day like me.. Well, maybe you are now lol"

I adore her. And yes, I probably was thinking of cheese cubes dipped in ranch 30 seconds before reading her message. 

But wait, there is more! 

This afternoon, I got an e-card from my lovely friend, Carla Jo.

 Carla left me this message:

"I am realizing this is going to be you shortly... so i'll make an exception :) Keep up the great work on the caveman. You are looking refreshed and healthy and toned! Your blog is helping me remember my portion control and helped me eat a banana today instead of popcorn. Love you and your face.
-Carla"

She completes me. And knows the key to my heart...but to be fair, I'm 100% sure my thighs will always touch when I run. 

But no matter my thigh size, I'm so blessed.

How did I ever get so lucky to have such AMAZING friends?

THANK YOU to everyone who has sent me emails (Brittany + Mel + Alexandra + Carla), tweets (Hannah + Amber + Hannah S.), comments on my blog post (Katy + Sonia + Annette + Stephanie + Chelsea + Sarah + Stephanie + Kami + Kelli + Beth + Justin), personal messages (Hilary + Katy), diet advice (Josh + Becca + Carolyn + Elizabeth).

Seriously, I'm overwhelmed by your love, support, and inspiration (sorry if I missed anyone!!).

I'm going strong.

I'm feeling great.

I'm learning willpower- and portion control (aka I ate the world's smallest burger today for lunch).

The burger was INCREDIBLE (and only two bites).
The vegetables sucked big time, but thankfully I ordered a side salad too.
And yes, I cheated by having ranch.

I've lost 11 lbs since last week (Biggest Loser style). 

And most importantly, I haven't locked myself in the pantry to hide in the corner + eat a block of cheese....sooo let's just chalk this week up as a SUCCESS...

And I couldn't have done it without you.


Much love,
Ashley