Write Minded: Planting The Sieb

"Ashley, it's fine," Ann said. "I promise. Personally, I think Baby Sieb just wants to have an amazing birth date. So he or she is just going to take his time and show up when he is ready to arrive in this world."

She made me laugh.

Ann always makes me laugh.

I was calling her one of my many emotional breakdowns after a negative pregnancy test.

That was in November.

"You're right," I said and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "Thanks for cheering me up..."

"Just don't try in December," Ann said. "Just stop thinking about it and tell yourself that you will try again in January. Make December...fun!"

So with that, I promised Ann that I'd stop my temperature tracking.

I'd stop reading my baby books.

I did, however, have a doctor's appointment on November 28th. So I told myself this was the last day that I could stress and worry about not getting pregnant.

I told my doctor about my irregular cycles (often 40 days apart), my horrible stomach cramps with each period, and other details about our journey.

"Ashley," Dr. Jim said. "You're doing everything right. You're healthy. And it sounds like you just need help getting on a normal cycle. Right now, you just don't know when or if you ovulate. And that's the easiest thing to fix."

"Really?" I asked. "Because I've been losing hope."

"Never lose hope," Dr. Jim said. "All you have to do is call me when you start your next period. We will start doing lab work and track your hormone levels. We'll also put you on a fertility medicine to help ovulate. And who knows- maybe your next call will be to tell me that you're pregnant. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Yes," I said. "That would be....amazing."

I walked out of the doctor's office with a smile on my face.

And for once- I was hopeful.

I had a plan. And you guys know I LOVE plans.

***

I woke up on Christmas morning and took a pregnancy test. I'd gone most of December without worrying or stressing about Baby Sieb. We just "had fun" as Ann would say.

But the test was negative.

After driving all across the state of Indiana for Christmas, we headed to Florida for our family vacation and Disney World trip.

I took a test the morning of our Disney trip (December 29) and the test, was again, negative.

"It's fine," I told Justin. "At least I can ride the roller coasters and drink beer!"

December = Fun.

And roller coasters and beer = even more fun!

So, I continued on with my vacation.

And I drank sangria.

Wine = a vacation essential.

Even though the test was negative, Baby Sieb was in there!!

And I drank some.


Mango margaritas make the rain go away.

We shared drinks at Downtown Disney.

Oh, and I drank again on the beach.

Yes, that's Justin the background after he failed to catch the football.

Anyway, I had a good vacation.

On New Years Eve (our last night in Florida), I started to "feel different."

I was moody. Now, I am normally moody, but I was even MORE moody than usual.

Nothing sounded good to eat (aka I was even more grouchy).

I simply couldn't stay awake for the life of me. I was in bed before 10 pm-- in fact, Justin had to wake me up 10 minutes before the ball dropped. And I didn't drink ALL night (not even champagne at midnight).

When we woke up to leave on New Years Day, my stomach was cramping.

I figured I was getting ready to start my period.

But after driving on the road for hours, I started to feel worse.

And I realized my cramps weren't like period cramps.

"Babe, I"m pregnant," I said. "I just know it! Stop and get a pregnancy test!"

We were on the way to Justin's Aunt and Uncle's house - they had dinner waiting for us, but I demanded we stopped at CVS to get a test.

Once we got to their house, I ran upstairs.

I ripped the test out of the package.

Absolutely certain I was pregnant.

I took the test and waited for a line to show up.

At first, I didn't see the line.

I had only waited about 30 seconds, but I made up my mind.

I was wrong.

It's negative.

I went to throw the test away and I saw a second line appear literally before my eyes.

"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" I said to myself. "That's a line. OMG that is a line if I've ever seen one!"

I was alone when I found out because Justin was downstairs.

I paced around the room.

"I am freaking pregnant!" I said. "I'm going to be a mom. Holy cow, I am pregnant. Now what do I do?"

I sat on the edge of the bed.

Deciding if I should laugh or cry.

So I did both.

And then I took this picture...I have no clue why. I was probably only 4 hours pregnant.

Kidding, I was four weeks here!

I'm guessing I'll look back at this picture and think how "skinny" I once looked....

I gathered my composure, and walked downstairs.

Acting like nothing happened.

And by acting like nothing happened, I mean I ate dinner in complete silence and didn't know what the hell to say to anyone...because secretly, I just wanted to blurt out, "THE SIEB HAS BEEN PLANTED!"

But instead, I said nothing.

And yes, people noticed.

"Are you OK, Ash?" Uncle Don asked me.

"Oh yes," I said. "I'm just so tired from all the traveling.."

(Lie- I'm tired because I'm growing a human life!!!)

After dinner, I walked outside to get my bag from the car.

Justin followed me out.

"Well?" he asked.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I wanted to say something cute. Or have this amazing speech put together about Justin will be an amazing dad.

But instead- I was speechless.

So I just smiled.

And then he smiled.

"SHUT UP!" Justin said. "Do not screw with me, Ashley!"

The only thing I could do was nod my head.

"Speak, Ashley! You aren't mute!" I told myself.

Justin wrapped his arms around me and lifted me in the air.

"I am going to bed a dad!!!" Justin said.

"Yes, you are!" I said. "And I'm going to be a mom!"

I gave him a giant hug.

Just then, we heard the door opened.

We let go of each other and tried to wipe away the happy tears.

It was still too early to tell anyone.

I headed toward the car and Justin headed toward the house. He turned around gave me a giant smile and then winked.

We are going to be parents.

2013 really will be The Year of New.

I'll be sharing more blog posts over the next few days about our experiences to date, doctor appointments, my symptoms, and even share pictures...I know I started sharing our pregnancy journey on www.plantingthesieb.com, but I've decided it's best to keep all my blog posts in one place.

So, Write Minded is your source for all things Baby Sieb related.

Thanks for being a part of our journey. We are so blessed and thankful to have such an amazing group of family and friends.

We are officially 8 weeks and 4 days.

And our due date is September 7, 2013.

And as a little teaser, here are a few pictures: