On Wednesday night, I went to a relaxation spa party. After a few extremely stressful weeks, I was looking forward to a night with some fun ladies, eating good food, and a getting in on a pampering session.
Little did I know, I would have a relaxation revelation that completely transformed my attitude and outlook on myself (and others).
After chowing down on some amazing food and getting a fantastic manicure scrub down, we went around the room to introduced ourselves. The consultant also asked us to say something nice about Hilary, the host of the party.
Saying something nice about Hilary was incredibly easy. She is kind, beautiful, and positive in nearly every situation. I couldn't ask for a better neighbor!
When it was my turn, I described her as I just did above and added that, "And she always knows how to make you feel good about yourself! The other day I was outside in the front yard - working on our landscaping- and she walked over and told me how good I looked! But in reality, I looked awful - I was in running clothes and sweating all over the place. But she made me feel so good about myself."
After a few more people shared wonderful stories and kind words about Hilary, the consultant said, "I just always like to have everyone say something wonderful about the host because as woman - we are so hard on ourselves. Like your story (she pointed to me), you were hard on yourself even just telling that story. So I think it's really important that we get told how special and wonderful we really are...because we probably don't hear it enough!"
Why couldn't I tell a story without putting myself down?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Is that a reflection of how I truly perceive myself?
Could the perception of myself be a reflection of how I treat the people around me?
My mind couldn't stop wondering.
And that's when I had my relaxation revelation.
I thought of the Dove commerical - take a few minutes to watch this video (if you haven't already):
It's not just me.
It's all of us.
Your perception of yourself impacts everyone around you...and everything that you do!
This morning, my friend Meghan posted a Facebook status that got me thinking about this topic some more...She is a beautiful girl - about 6'0" and thin. She is a runner - extremely active. And she loves eating healthy (but certainly knows when to break lose and enjoy some ice cream when needed). She simply takes good care of herself. And looks great! Anyway, this morning - two woman walked by and made a comment about how thin she was...an offensive comment like, "That skinny bitch needs to eat something."
My heart broke for her...it's awful. Would they say the same thing to a heavier woman walking by? Would they tell her to stop eating?
My first thought is NO -they wouldn't. But then again -if you're THAT unhappy with yourself, you probably get satisfaction out of putting others down. Or people like that simply don't realize how hurtful their comment was because they speak to themselves like that every single day.
I remember when I would see an INSANELY fit woman running in a sports bra and short shorts. I would think, "Is that necessary!? Do you really need to run half nude?"
But I've gown up since then.
And even if my words don't reflect it all the time, I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin than ever before.
Today, when I see fit woman running in sports bras - I think, "You go girl! If I looked that darn good, I would be running in whatever the heck I wanted to wear too!"
If we have a negative perception of ourselves- we will instinctively treat the people around us in a negative way as well.
We will be quick to put people down.
Quick to judge someone.
And who wants to live like that?
Who wants to be that negative, unpleasant person?
Someone who is unable to give a compliment or see the positive side out of any situation.
Stop spreading the hate and filling your mind with harmful words.
Whether the hate you are spreading is internal, external, or both - make steps to live a more positive life.
Stop being so hard on yourself and the people around you!
Give at least one compliment a day.
Give YOURSELF at least one compliment a day.
Find something beautiful in everyone you meet.
Focus on the positive aspects on your life and the people around you.
Stop being jealous of someone elses' life.
And make changes in your own life if needed.
So for my compliment for the day, I'll tell each and every one of you (my beloved blog readers) the same thing:
You're more beautiful than you say...